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dream feeds never worked for us either. when my lo wants something, she wants it. when she doesn't, she doesn't. she is very particular and sounds like yours is too. this probably isn't what you want to hear, but i gave up trying to control what/when/how much she ate, when she slept/napped, etc etc because she does it on her own terms. i was driving myself crazy...once i gave up, i was much happier that way and she is too.

I'm jealous!! My LO won't go to bed until 9 at the absolute earliest!!!! No advice as she's always done a dream feed no problem... Just had to comment about the bed time

Dream feeds never worked for us. If they're not hungry, they're not hungry.

Yup, it never worked for us either...I always had to wake him up completely to feed him, and it never really even extended his sleep that much.

@JoJoGirl: haha, Xander's 5 months and I have YET to get 8 hours of sleep. Though he's pretty consistent giving me 7, so I'll take it!!

Ahhh, since you're already feeding on just one side, I have no advice. With Xander, I always give him both breasts, so to force a cluster feed, I would offer just one, then feed him the other 1.5 hours later, and then offer both 1.5 hours after that to tank him up. But that won't work for you, unless you just kick her off the boob early, which I don't think you want to do!

I guess you could just wake her up to feed instead of trying to do a dream feed. Do you think she'd be hungry enough to eat when you want to feed her? That's what I do with Xander. He goes to bed around 7:00/7:30 and I wake him up at 9:00 to eat. Then we both can sleep until 5:00 when it's time to feed him again.

Also, I know you were really struggling in the beginning - now that she's 12 weeks, do you feel like things are finally starting to be better??

@JoJoGirl: So glad to hear things are getting better!!!! It's amazing what a little sleep can do for the sanity!!

As far as waking, some people are REALLY opposed to it, but since I returned to work, I find it crucial for us. Xander will sleep 7+ hours after I feed him, so in order for ME to get 7 hours of sleep, I wake him to feed at 9:00 p.m. and then we both get up at 5:00 a.m. If I had to do a middle of the night feeding, I'd go CRAZY. Xander always kind of protests to being woken up, but as soon as I get the boob in his mouth, he's perfectly happy. And he usually goes back to sleep no problem, so it's worth it for us!

You could definitely try it and see how it goes. If it works out for you, you may want to keep doing it once you return to work in order to not be a zombie at work!