My MIL has come out twice and she has been a lot of help. ️DH can handle the babies alone but it's nice when she is here. She now lives in FL with her husband. He's is a retired veteran that travels for his job. He works for 3 week stretches then comes home to FL for a week.
My MIL actually brought this up a few days ago. She can't afford to fly out herself but we could pay for her flight to come out here to spend time with the babies. After 2-3 weeks, she would fly back to FL for a week and if she is up for it, ️return back to Seattle. I'm already thinking that she can pay for the flight using FF credit card and we'll pay for her that flight. So she'll be accumulating FF miles at the same time.
I'm so glad she brought this up. It actually was looking for some part time help for DH. Like a nanny or an au pair. I guess we figure grandma care is better than finding a nanny.
Win win I think!
I'm sure my situation is very unique.
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
Sounds great! I hope it works out for you!
pineapple / 12566 posts
I think it sounds like a great idea, especially since she's helpful and it doesn't sound like she stresses you out.
When we lived in NYC, I had a friend who had her retired mom move to the building that we lived in and used her as grandma care. I thought that was a great situation since everyone was content with the arrangement.
grapefruit / 4321 posts
If your husband needs the help, then the cost of a round trip plane ticket once a month will likely work out to less $ than paying a part time nanny. The only thing I would caution you to think about is if you're really comfortable with someone living with you for so long. My parents just left after being here for 3 weeks to help with our newborn. They are amazing guests who cook/clean/help constantly, and they also entertain themselves so we didn't need to worry about them, but even still, once they were gone we realized it is very nice to have the house to ourselves. If my in laws wanted to stay for three weeks that would be an absolutely not no matter how much help they would give with the baby.
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
@Truth Bombs: haha yes! My mom stayed almost 2 months both times. She is the hardest worker in the world. She was cooking, cleaning, taking the dog out, watching the baby so I could nap/shower/eat. But gosh she is annoying to be with for so long!! LOL
honeydew / 7230 posts
I would have loved it if my mom could have done this long term! She's a teacher so is able to spend a lot of time with us in the summers, but they make quicker trips the rest of the year. The biggest thing I love about having my mom with us is the companionship. Being a stay at home parent to twins can feel very isolated since it hard to get out of the house sometimes. Will she be staying in your home? That's the only prt that would make me hesitate - I wouldn't want my own MIL staying with us for long stretches of time. But my own mom is be fine with!
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
That sounds like a great plan! I'm so glad everyone is on board and truly excited about it!
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
What a great idea! It sounds like this will work out great for you!
persimmon / 1188 posts
I think it sounds like a really nice arrangement. We both work so we knew we needed child care and our parents said they would help as much as they could. Little guy is 2 now and has always been cared for by his grandparents. When they can't do it, my sister who is a SAHM covers. It's been such a blessing to us and it's really incredible to see my son have such special relationships with our parents. He even sees his great grandma a couple times a week.
wonderful clementine / 24134 posts
I agree its wonderful but would maybe consider doing it for like 2 weeks on, 2 weeks away.
pomelo / 5678 posts
That sounds like a great idea! I can't imagine having grandma care!!!!!!
hostess / papaya / 10540 posts
I couldn't deal with an inlaw basically living with us, or anyone really because I like my space. But, if it doesn't stress you out, sounds like it could be a great solution for you all.
hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts
@lamariniere: We've had issues in the past (before we were married) but recently, things have been great. I could do without her political commentary since we are pretty much on opposite ends politically. Yeah, it's annoying but having her around doesn't increase my stress. I just ignore her political talk. The political comments have gone down so maybe she is realizing that I prefer not to hear it.
@Truth Bombs: She was here in October for 13 days and she is here now and will be here for 18 days. I think I did get a little tired of her towards the end of her October trip. It was nice to be on our own for a few weeks but there was times where we did miss her. This current trip out has been nice. I think since we both know what to expect and how things run on this December visit, we are both more relaxed and comfortable. So at this moment, future trips of 21 days-ish, don't seem too bad at all.
@twodoghouse: Yeah, she has been staying with us when she comes to visit. We have the guest bedroom for her. I think since Rob is the one at home, I'm sure he doesn't mind that his mom is living in the house. Not sure how I would feel if I was the one at home and she was always there. I guess it's good that I'm the one who goes to work everyday.
@T.H.O.U.: That's an idea. I'll leave it up to her to decide when she wants to come and go. Also, DH and I will discuss it, too. She seems to be very considerate of this idea. She wasn't sure how I felt about the idea when she brought it up with the DH.
hostess / watermelon / 14932 posts
that sounds like an amazing idea. probably the same cost as hiring care, and it's someone you know and trust - and I'm sure she'll be thrilled to see the kiddos more!
grapefruit / 4923 posts
if everyone is on board, i think it's a great idea. just in case it doesn't work out though, you may want to consider talking to her about this in near-future terms, instead of long-term commitment just in the event you change your mind.
eggplant / 11716 posts
We do this in small increments every times we have a big "transition" period. We just flew my mom to our house to watch the girls my first 1.5 weeks back to work, to ease me back in to working life. Then they start daycare in Jan.
We also flew her in when I had LO 2, and Dhs parents drove down. They each spent 2.5 weeks at our house. And we live in a small place.
grapefruit / 4455 posts
My mom flew out for weekends to help out when dd was a newborn and still does for fun now! Sounds good, maybe just keep it open so nobody is committed. As babies get older your dh might want to do it on his own more. Definitely sounds win win to me!
eta and I know of others who do this at times too!