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Ugh, this is so hard and sad. If I were in your shoes I would definitely hire a nanny. The whole masks are care for little kids just doesn't seem like it would work well. I agree with your point about making it difficult for teachers to be sensitive responders when they can't see a child's facial expression.

This makes me sad. I’m sorry this is a decision you have to even make. To me it seems like a little kid with a mask on would just touch their face more.

If I was in this situation, which who knows I could end up being there, I’d try to find a nanny/babysitter. This gives you some control. And it doesn’t have to be fore ever, down the road you could switch back to a centre when things change and you are comfortable with the policies.

So I know I already mentioned this in another post but I would be extremely surprised if the regulator is correct. I do not think preschool-aged kids will be wearing masks. That is just not best practice in terms of public health since masks aren’t recommended if you’re going to be touching it/removing it, which is what a little kid would do. (I work in healthcare). Most state recommendations for child care centers reflect this and in my state (CA), day cares are not requiring or allowing masks (some day cares are open for essential workers). So-I would wait and see and push back on your daycare. These are complicated regulations and I think it’s possible neither your director nor their regulator fully understand. Now, that doesn’t change the issue of teachers wearing them and the problem with reading facial cues for your infant, of course.

All that said, we have always had a nanny and I don’t think a lack of socialization is an issue at all for your infant or even all that much for your two year old. Many kids don’t start school until 4. You’re right that my 2 yo DD did still see other kids even with a nanny at the park and in play groups/music class and those may not be an option with Covid. But-as others said, a nanny provides flexibility to allow a level of socialization you are comfortable with as well as more reliable care right now. We were going to start my DD in part time outdoor preschool this fall which may not happen and while I am worried about her not being with other kids, I don’t think it will have long term impacts. But this is all so hard and stressful and I feel for you! Sorry, this was a novel!

Oh man. I didn't even think about infants not seeing facial expressions. I think when our daycare reopens maybe we'll keep our baby (6 months) home and send our toddler and preschooler.

@Cait1: there are about 4-5 designs available on etsy when I checked, possibly more. Less breathable but I plan to buy them if I'm required to wear them as a teacher.

Oh wow I hadn’t even thought about facial expressions. I’m really considering seeing if I can continue to work at home when I finish maternity leave in September. I’d be at home twice per week with a 12 week old and a 4 year old, so I would just try to get my in person meetings into the other 3 days. My older daughter would be almost 7 and would be helpful when she gets home in terms of playing with the older sister. I would actually probably try to make it so I have them all home on the same days assuming kids won’t be returning to school full time. I wouldn’t be concerned about kids in the background of meetings. It’s exhausting working and taking care of kids, but an easy trade off when it means reducing our risk of exposure.

If you do go back to daycare I agree that I would push back on kids wearing masks, especially for an entire day. That’s simply unrealistic, and it’s not being done in daycares that are currently open for children of essential workers.

I would consider a nanny though too. There will be many unemployed.

Ugh, I didn't think about not seeing faces either. I had been anxious about sending DD (6mo) back, but now I'm thinking definitely no. Our shelter in place order expires on 5/15 and our state appears to be past the peak--at least with the shelter in place order--plus we have a republican governor so it's expected that the order will be relaxed. DH's employer is already talking about bringing people back on site as early as 5/18. I need to have a talk with my boss about what the future of employment looks like at my company. I have a coworker in a key role whose son has severe asthma, and she's been clear that she's not putting him back in care until there's a vaccine, so there may be some WFH with kids flexibility, but I just don't know. Otherwise we're talking about a nanny, but really if we pay someone $15/hr plus taxes I'd be working for essentially benefits and groceries, and I'm not sure that makes sense for me.

Has anyone gone through the process of finding a nanny share? I know several people with young kids, but none well enough to feel like it would be natural for our families to share.

We haven’t tried going an entire day, but my kids have successfully worn masks for 3-4 straight hours, when we go hiking, and all we do for snacks/water breaks is sanitize hands before taking off the mask. Then we eat, drink water, then sanitize our hands and put the masks back on. We also have them sanitize if they accidentally grab/touch something. So I feel like my kids would adjust okay.

My little trick (since I have girls with long hair), is i put their hair in a high ponytail and tie their mask to their ponytail. They can’t take it off without adult help.

I made them from a YouTube tutorial, and they have a pocket for a filter. Basically one side of the string it attached so you put it on file a necklace or lanyard, then tie the top strings up above your ears, and fit the metal wire on the bridge of your nose. I just used 2 pipe cleaners for the nose piece. Pretty convenient for kids, because they can’t take it off easily and they can’t really fall off since the bottom piece goes around the neck.

It's so strange because many daycares in my state (CA) are open because they are considered "essential." They are talking about starting school here at the end of July, but I honestly don't see that happening.