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Our 2rd daycare was like this. DD was 10 weeks when she started there. We had a major safety issue with our first daycare, which let to us using 2 part-time daycares MWF/TTH. DD was a cat napper, (45 min was a long nap) so I was scared that the different places/schedules would completely mess her up.
Both of these places had a big bright room with large window, the cribs were along each wall. They rarely had the lights off, as each baby was on a different schedule.
I was so scared that DD wouldn't nap!

But she did. And she did fine with the two different places from 10 weeks-6mo, when we finally got full-time at one of the places.

Basically, daycare is a totally different animal. Your baby will nap, because he's tired. He probably is a little unsettled - daycare is so much stimulation, and he was missing you.
He will not be held as much, but he still should be getting held.

Daycare transition is hard, harder on mama than baby.
Hug that little one, and give yourself a hug.

Everything you have explained seems very normal.

Our infant room is set up similarly. They do have a separate sleeping space (they have three spaces) for older kids. The infant room set up is front room is feeding, diapering and more admin type stuff, middle space is active play space and cribs for the littler babies (so they are closer to the teachers for oversight), back space for older kids sleeping, and some toys. The light in the back room does dim with inactivity, but the children are not restricted from cruising in there.

Our daycare is 4-1 in the infant room. We were careful with DDs not to create babies who expect to be held all of the time. Thats not to say we didnt cuddle them and love on them lots but we were just cautious to not set them up with unreasonable expectations since the reality is we are both WOH parents and cannot be with them 24 hours a day.

I transitioned DD1 gradually, 1 day a week for 4 weeks, then 3 days for 1 week, then boom full time (7:30am-5pm). She transitioned fine once we got to 3 days a week. the 1 day a week weeks were hard because it was a shock to her system. Neither DD ever slept great in the infant room, since they do on demand scheduling. They both napped wonderfully in the toddler rooms and up. It was more catnapping in the infant room then anything...they'd still do 3 hour naps at home on the weekends...just too much going on at daycare to sleep!

I should note that they both started fulltime at 4 mos, DD1 started her transition at 12 weeks.

I just went back to work last week and my 12-week old went to daycare. The infant room there (6 weeks- 8 months) is one large room broken into 4 quadrants. Front left is a drop-off area with cubbies and a fridge for pumped breastmilk, and a table with the check-in sheets. Back left is the changing station and diaper storage, sink, and a small area with high chairs for feeding the older ones. Front right is the play area with a couple rocking chairs, a swing, a couple jumpers, a couple playmats, and various other toys. Back right is the sleep area with 8 mini cribs. They keep the lights off in that section and have loud white noise playing, and there is a partition that closes off the sleep area from the changing/feeding area. But it is open to the front play area so there is still a decent amount of light and noise in the sleep area.

My daughter is a pretty happy baby - very content, but doesn't always fall asleep easily and is a catnapper (20-40 min naps). Her first day was awful. They said she was inconsolable all day and hardly slept. So of course I was inconsolable that night and didn't want to take her back. But the second day was amazing! It literally took her one day to adjust. She's been there almost 2 weeks now and is doing great. They even get her to take a longer 1.5-2 hr nap at least once a day most days.

The ratio in this room is 4:1, but the babies are still getting held a lot. You have to remember, at any given time, almost half of them are sleeping, since they're all on different schedules. Whenever I walk in to pick her up, both teachers are always holding at least one baby, sometimes two. And the other awake babies are always in the same small area, on a playmat, or in a bouncer or whatever, so they can still see faces and hear talking and/or music playing, like babies love. I am happy with the amount of attention she gets.

It's so hard to go back to work and leave your baby with anyone that isn't you. But I really think babies adjust much easier than we give them credit for, usually. I think you should give it at least a couple weeks before considering any changes.

@periwinklebee: I got lucky, but it took a lot of searching and dead ends and driving myself crazy. Staying at home was not an option for me either. I'm sorry your mom isn't helping matters, its hard enough sending your child to daycare without everyone else making you feel guilty about it.

Sorry, a few more things. Since you mentioned he likes to be held - which just is not as possible with the daycare set up...do you send a blanket with your scent? Or a lovey? It could help...

Also - for sleep...our daycare cannot swaddle their arms, it was something both my girls really needed. So we ended up with one of those sleep suits (Merlin) that worked real well for helping them sleep in a un-swaddled environment!

You are describing my daycare! I had the same concerns and it was totally fine. DD slept fine, and most of the time someone was holding her and she was asleep when I picked her up. Some babies like to be cuddled more than others and they seemed to give that extra attention when needed

@periwinklebee: What I can add is that babies adjust very quickly. DD was a tough transition she cried at drop off when she was 12 weeks for the first week or so. In the long run she ended up being at that daycare til she was almost 4 and loved it and thrived so much. It can be a hard transition but as long as you feel it is a safe and loving environment just know they will adjust soon

Daycare transition is so hard, both for parents and baby!

DS2 started daycare at 3 months old. The transition sucked. But now, a year later, he is thriving! We've just transitioned to our third classroom and each transition had a few weeks that were rough, but everyone made it through.

The first class he was in had cribs in a separate area, but since the babies were so little and schedules were all over the place most just slept in the play area. Once he was a little older, they started trying naps in the crib area (one teacher would be dedicated to the sleeping room when babies were in there). This was the same set up in the next class he was in once he started crawling. Naps still sucked, I think because of the noise and different schedules.

He's been in his third class for almost 3 months now, its the early toddler class where everyone is walking and on the same one nap schedule. He naps like a champ now, 2.5-3 hours!

All this to say, it sucks in the beginning. But seeing them grow and make friends and learn all these new skills is so worth it.

@periwinklebee: I wanted to pipe in about you mom’s view of daycare (my kids are a little older so the details of the infant room are really hazy at this point). My mom was aSAHM and was very anti daycare (but not as vocal as yours) and has had a complete change of heart. She now feels daycare was one of the best things we’ve done for our kids and she is amazed at how much they are learning and how much they are exposed to. It’s helped them socially and academically. So hang in there and realize that you know what is best for LO and your family.

Just wanted to say hang in there, it gets easier and be confident in your decision. My son struggled with daycare as an infant and frankly just hit his stride probably 6 months ago there, he is 2.

I had awful days picking up an exhausted baby, he just never napped until he transitioned to the cot with consistent nap time. At the end of the day, we are so happy we stuck it out. We selected a daycare that is very much focused on independence and free movement, he has excelled. As an only child and grandchild, it has been an amazing experience for him socially.

Like your mom, my mom always questions daycare. She stayed home with us when we were little. We have begun discussions with the grandmothers now that we are expecting baby #2, my mom is very vocal in her opinions regarding LO1. He currently attends daycare 3 days and I am considering increasing him to 4 days, she is just not supportive of it. No good reason other than she thinks it is too much, I just tune her out. That has always been my relationship with my mom, yada yada yada, ok mom ;).

Good luck! It will get better and it does take time as others have said, for us a lot of time!

My son went to an in home daycare that was owned and operated by a friend's cousin. He started when he was 11 weeks old. I held him for most of the first 11 weeks of his life (I was THAT mom), but it seemed that he adjusted well and took naps at daycare better than he would at home. He adjusted within the first 5-7 days at daycare.

He was fired from that daycare at 9 months because she had 2 other babies aside from the other kids she watched and he needed more one on one time than she could give him. I think there might have been other things because he was such a happy baby, but he developed faster than the other two babies ( 1 was a month older than him the other was a month younger than him) and could have been taking time from the other kids. I don't know but that is neither here nor there.

So after he was fired I went with a babysitter (nanny), she is a family friend that has worked as a nanny for a very long time. She said she had no problems with him needing her attention every moment and could play independently (it could have been that he knew he had her attention if he needed it and wasn't jockeying against other kids). He's been with the nanny for about 15 months now and is doing fantastic! She takes him tot he park, zoo, county farm park, just to the store or whatever so that makes me feel better that he is getting interaction with other kids instead of being home with the babysitter and dog all day. We're hoping he will have a sibling soon too, so that will help too

@jennlin821: Wearing it in the shirt is a great idea. I sew for a charity that makes shirts for preemies that are too small to wear any other clothes, and we also sew something called the Developmental Heart. Its basically a large heart made out of a piece of minky and flannel that moms wear in their bra and then leave them in the isolette with baby when they can't be at the NICU. It helps them a lot, so I can totally see it helping with baby adjusting.

@periwinklebee: how have the last couple days gone? Thinking of you during this transition!