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@Nskillet: I guess my problem is this sentence is absolutely fear based - "I won't take a risk, it's ok if others do or will."

There are risks in c-sections too. One choice is not less risky than the other for baby. Implying that a VBAC is a "risk" vs a c-section is inaccurate and projects fear.

Either choice has risks, but either choice is safe for baby in overwhelmingly most cases. It's not fair to call one a risk when they carry equal risk.

@wonderstruck: I don't think the experience comment was meant as inflammatory. More as the experience of having a vaginal birth is not something that is important enough to wager into the equation. I feel the same way.

And I think even if the stats are being presented as even, personal experience can change how they are viewed. My babies will be only 17 months apart, which makes my chance of uterine rupture slightly higher...is that a risk I'm willing to take? When I had a perfect c-section last time? It's hard to know what the right answer is.

It is good to see there are a lot of us that are struggling to do the right thing for our babies! I wish there was a crystal ball that showed what the results of each would be in our individual cases. Ha.

@Mrs. Lion: this is a great question!! I also wanted to thank you for posting this. I've been eyeing some of the older threads about this topic and found myself wishing things were a bit more robust!

@Arden: are you a doula? You seem to know a lot about these things!! Do you know anything about success of VBAC for obese women? I've notice statistically women of size have more c section is this due to stamina issues or other things? Any ideas?

@Nskillet: Yes I'm a doula. I don't know any specific numbers related to obese women, but I do know the risks of any kind of birth are a bit higher. I'll see what I can find though!

These are some of the epidural-friendly labor and delivery positions a doula can help support you in that promote better results than lithomy (being flat on your back).

@Mrs. Lion: Lots of those positions require two people so DH would definitely be involved!

I think the worry that dad will feel left out is a common one, but in my experience it doesn't usually feel that way in the labor and delivery room. Here are a couple of good articles on dads and doulas.

http://www.kimjames.net/Dads%20and%20Doulas.htm

http://daddyconfidential.com/2012/parenting/i-challenge-you-to-a-doula/

My biggest piece of advice would be to interview a few and pick one that you are both comfortable with. Go with your gut, and his. It needs to feel right.

@Mrs. Lion: I have nothing to offer regarding RCS vs. VBAC, but I do have a little aside about hiring a doula. After delivery, my DH became the biggest doula evangelist! He truly felt the opposite of left out. Rather, he felt like she was supporting him so he could properly support me. It really took a lot of the stress away from him to have her around to talk through decisions we needed to make and figure out solutions to some of the labor issues we were running into. If you find a doula that you both mesh well with, I think it's well worth the money!

@mrs. tictactoe: A lot of doulas have gift certificate options. Maybe hint at it to friends and family?

P.S. Just checked your profile and you live in L.A.? So many doulas there. Do some checking around, it's a good area with a lot of price variation.

I can't comment as to CS because I had a vbac. However, I wanted to add that I think you should do whatever you feel comfortable doing. Don't let outside opinions make your decision, afterall it's your body and your LO. I will say that I was induced, had an epi, pushed for an hour, had 2 small tears and recovery was pretty easy for me. I've had no long lasting affects and was back to normal in 2 weeks. They were a long two weeks but looking back it was really nothing. Good luck to you!

@BeachMama: There are a few things you can do to reduce the incidence of tearing. Perineal massage during pregnancy, perineal support during pushing, pushing in a position other than lithomy, water birth, etc.

@Ajsmommy: what did they use for your induction? I'm concerned that due to previous LGA baby they won't want me to go post dates at which point my options would be RCS or induced VBAC which I'm not sure I'm comfortable with.

@arden: yeah but I also want an epidural, which eliminates some of those options

@Mrs. Lion: My two cents are purely anecdotal, but I've had two vaginal deliveries (the second much worse recovery than the first) and then a planned c section. The c section was the easiest recovery than the other two, and even though I'm done having any more babies, I would be choosing a rcs over a vbac if I did have any more. It's purely of the standpoint of how much easier it was over all.

But, my oldest is 7, and not a toddler, which made him helpful during my recovery, and my DH was home for several weeks afterwards to help out.

I had an unplanned c-section with #1 and a successful vbac with #2. I struggled with what to do the whole pregnancy and changed my mind a million times. We may want 3 children and while my doctor said that 3 c-sections are safe the risks do increase each time and I didn't want to do 3 c-sections if I didn't have to. I was worried, however, that I would end up having an unplanned section the second time which would be the worst case scenario since my first was 10 days overdue and a big boy. I ultimately decided to schedule a section a week after my due date to give myself a chance to try. I delivered the day after my due date and my labor was super fast and I had no time for an epidural so I feel like my body decided for me what was meant to be. I was very happy with the outcome.

That being said I think you should do what you feel comfortable with and don't feel pressured to do something because you feel you should.

I know it's a tough decision!

I wanted a VBAC to be more connected to the birth. My csection was okay, but it wasn't the birth I envisioned. After #1 was born he had to go to the NICU and my husband went with him and I just remember talking to the anesthesiologist after my baby was born. My feelings about my csection are also tied to his early birth and "emergency" situation.
My VBAC was great. I was a good candidate bc my csection was not due to #1 getting stuck or failure to progress. I went into labor on my own after a membrane sweep. Most of my fears never happened - the epidural actually helped me dilate pretty quickly. I did tear, but minimal and post partum recovery wasn't bad.
My biggest concern about a rcs was taking care of my toddler, especially after being on bed rest for 6 weeks before delivery.

I'll have a rcs when the time comes. My birth was traumatic for me. I was in labor for 14 hours and ended up with an emergency cs due to myself and LO being in danger. I think laboring first made recovery so hard. I also think I'd end up in the same position so I don't want to repeat the horribleness of hearing them express fear for my baby's life.

Laboring was horribly painful. I'm a big baby and do not want to do that again.

@Skadi: You'll notice that number is specifically with obstetricians, who tend to be a bit quicker to jump to a c-section than midwives. The actual number ranger from 65% - 90% based on a compilation of studies. Remember any c-section that was not planned is referred to as an emergency, even if it was performed in a non-emergency situation, like a labor that was "dragging on too long."

I remember you saying you wanted a large family, so I wonder if you've researched the risk of a fourth or fifth c-section. Most doctors STRONGLY recommend having a tubal ligation with a third or fourth c-section, because the risk of a fourth of fifth c-section is shockingly high.
That's why my first question for the OP was how many children she planned to have.

In a recent study, the findings were based on outcomes from 30,132 cesarean deliveries performed across the country.

The incidence of delivery-related hysterectomies was more than five times higher for women undergoing their fourth cesarean birth than for women having their second C-section.

And women delivering by C-section for the sixth time or more required blood transfusions 10 times as often as women having their second C-section birth.

There's also a much higher incidence if preterm labor/birth in women who have had multiple c-sections.

I am about 90% sure that when the time comes, I will have a repeat CS. For one, I had GD and am likely to have it again, which means they do not want the baby to go past the due date. I hated my induction experience and do not want to put myself through that again. I'm not even sure I could, given that they don't usually use pitocin on women who've had c-sections.

I also have no desire to go through vaginal childbirth. I never felt any lack of experience or connection from not pushing DS out. And after baby 2 we will be done having kids. I don't need to worry about my body trying to handle 3 or 4 pregnancies, and as an added bonus i hope to get my tubes tied during the procedure.