If you child says they don't like something that is on their plate, do you allow them to eat something else instead?
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Nope. They must take three bites, and then they don't have to eat anymore. But I'm not giving them something else instead.
I think it's important to teach our kids that I am not their personal chef they can order around. We do things as a family--we all take the same car, we all go to the same park, we all eat the same dinner. I also think that children's taste in food is not the same as adults...sometimes they say they don't like something just to be contrary. Research says it actually takes around eight meals before a child can truly discern whether they truly like something or not.
What if they really, truly don't like something? Am I being mean for making them take three bites and not banning it from our menu? There's a reason we still make them try it at every meal, and that is to prepare them for adulthood. There's someone in my family who is in his sixties, and although he is otherwise a nice man, when he visits someone, he makes absolutely no attempt at being polite if he doesn't love the dish they serve. The polite thing to do when visiting someone is to take small bites of whatever it is, fill up on the bread or side or whatever, and tell the hostess that you appreciate her hard work and it was a lovely meal. But this man has never accustomed himself to forcing himself to eat something he dosen't like. So instead, he takes one bite, pushes the plate or bowl away from him, and about half the time will actually comment that "it didn't turn out well this time, huh?" or some variation of that.
I think it's good training to teach kids from an early age that when someone else cooks a meal for you, it is mandatory they take a few bites and be gracious about it.
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It depends. If it's something she usually eats, I don't offer anything else. If it's something new she has to try it. If she doesn't like it then usually there are other things on her plate she can eat anyway, but if it's all new food, and she tried it all and just doesn't like it, I will offer something plain and healthy (like plain yogurt).
She's generally a good eater and eats a good amount of vegetables, so I don't stress too much about it. And I wouldn't like if someone made me eat something I don't like. I worry more about her waking up bc she's hungry (she's a good eater but not sleeper).
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Yes she can have a healthy snack instead. I won't make a separate meal though. Food isn't a hill I want to die on and it's important to me not to make it a power struggle. She's a great eater most of the time though, so it's not a big deal if she doesn't eat well every now and again.
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Sometimes.
DS is super picky and he will usually ask what he can substitute for something - last night he didn't want his chicken so instead he had 2 servings of beans
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We usually offer a bit of variety as is. He's not a picky eater so I know if he doesn't want to eat what we've given him, it won't matter what I give him instead. He won't eat it, so no on substituting stuff.
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Of course. I wouldn't make her or expect her to eat something she didn't want to eat. I'll never think like that. Sometimes I'll spoon feed her to taste something if I am 100% certain she'll like it though.
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I will ask my son in advance what he would like and we go from there. I wish I could be more severe about not offering options, but when dealing with feeding aversions, I've learned to leave it to the experts. It's beyond pickiness and control in my son's case.
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If DS doesn't like it he doesn't have to eat it, but that doesn't mean he gets something else. I try to make sure he definitely likes something I'm serving.
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It depends, if they ate it before and liked it then too bad. If they don't try it at least, then too bad. If they really gave it a chance and don't like it they can have a bowl of cereal or something.
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No. I generally make meals with some variety. If they don't like one food, they still have to take a bite and hopefully eat more of something else. If I made a horrible meal that I don't even want to eat, then I'll give them a pass and find a substitution.
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We don't give dinner options. At breakfast we may let her have something if it's a weekend and it's not a pain. At dinner, we sit down to a dinner that either my husband or I made. She gets options at dinner - a protein, veggie, fruit and carb. She doesn't get something else if she doesn't like it. I make sure we make stuff that isn't too spicy or strongly flavored, though. If she doesn't want to eat, she doesn't get a treat. We do make her try things even if she poo-poos them. I'd say we are on the strict side of this one!
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Sort of. We don't allow any substitutions while we're actively eating our meal, but if she hasn't eaten much and is still hungry afterwards, we allow her a few choices of healthy snacks.
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We usually ask her what she wants for breakfast and lunch. But not dinner, unless we are out to eat, she doesn't want to eat it then she doesn't eat till breakfast. She doesn't really get dessert. We give her stuff that we know she likes. Lately she doesn't get to watch TV unless she eats her dinner, or at least tries it.
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Ugh - We had this battle all weekend.
We asked her to take 3 bites (it was something we knew she would like) and then told her she could have a choice of an alternate left over. But she wasn't having snacks (even if they were healthy) and we weren't cooking more food.
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We ask him to take one bite and then he can be done or have more of whatever he likes that we have on the table. But I try to not get up and get him something new unless he's actually cleaned his plate.
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For dinner: he has to eat what's for dinner, but he can choose among what's on the table. And we always try to have multiple offerings, at least one of which he likes. It ends up that he often only eats one or two things, but what those things are varies quite a bit. Sometimes it's basically just rice or bread, sometimes just broccoli, sometimes just meat.
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She has to at least taste it. If she doesn't want it, she can choose fruit or yogurt. That's it. No treats. If she is still hungry, I tell her she can eat the rest of the dinner that I cooked.
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No, no substitutes. We usually give him a variety of things and a couple things we know he'll like, so if he ends up not wanting to eat, that's his decision.
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no never no way nope. i am not a short order cook. no time for that.
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Ehh...I try to make sure he has at least a few things on his plate that I know he'll like (peas/carrots, cheese, etc). Anything new or anything that he says he doesn't like he has to at least try a bite of (a "no thank you!" bite). I don't force him to eat it, though. And he always has the option to have more of something else...he usually goes for seconds/thirds on veggies, for example. So I don't make him a whole new meal, no, but I do let him negotiate with what's already on the table.
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I voted "no", but it's more "not if he specifically asks for something else". When it's a new food or a food he doesn't care for, we serve him a small amount & plan ahead to have things he does like as part of the meal (he doesn't really enjoy lettuce, so when we eat salad we also make some peas or something for him). We also don't let him have seconds of a favorite food unless he's tried a bite of everything on his plate, so he gets used to polite table manners & experiences foods multiple times.
ETA: So, if we served him chicken, which he normally eats, and he doesn't want it, we would not make him something else in that moment. -
We've settled on a peanut butter sandwich as her alternative for when she rejects a meal. I will admit I sometimes do the thing where, after she begs for raisins or cheese or whatever, I make her take one bite and then she can have some. So I guess that is a substitution - but it those cases she usually ate some of the meal and not one part and so I am just trying to get her to eat least try each part before her "dessert" (which is usually a snack food like string cheese not a treat). I don't really love that but hey.
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If she really doesn't like something and she is still hungry I will. But it is nothing that requires cooking, like an applesauce pouch. I am a picky eater and remember being forced to eat things I didn't like.
@daniellemybelle: same for us, one bite, then if she doesn't like it, something else is acceptable.
I think it's good training to teach kids from an early age that when someone else cooks a meal for you, it is mandatory they take a few bites and be gracious about it.
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