Hellobee Boards

@MamaMoose: I agree with you.

I have a hard time answering this question....

From our perspective, in the first world, where this is a "choice" question for women, I will answer no; I don't think that anyone should be forced to BF.

In areas of the world where access to formula is difficult, water access is difficult, and FF is still the main practice, I still say....no, no woman should be forced to BF. However, in light of the situation in these areas, I sometimes get annoyed with first-world women who talk about how FF is all about "choice," etc. FF vs. BF isn't always just a matter of which a mother prefers.

http://www.unicef.org/nutrition/index_24824.html

@char54: @skipra: I think she meant that if the milk will be contaminated with drugs because of the mother's behaviors, then formula is absolutely preferred, healthier, a godsend!

ETA: sorry to bombard! Ten other people responded to the same thing while I was writing I think we all get each other now.

No. For me personally it was worth at least trying, but I can think of about a million reasons someone wouldn't want to try it. And they are all none of my business!

@char54: exactly.

@looch: sorry if my post is confusing. I think there can be many times and reasons why some could or should choose to formula feed. Like even many women shouldn't because they would not be able to take certain prescription medications. I can think of many situations to choose formula from day one. I was just using drugs as an example that cant really be argued with (except to say the.mom shouldn't be using them in the first place but that is a totally different issue).
Eta: honestly I don't even think about what other moms choose to do. I was just trying to say no it should never be forced on anyone. I feel judged for BFing too long. I would never want to make other moms feel the same way for making decisions that affect their family and have nothing to do with me.

@Mrs. Sketchbook: thank you! I never weigh in on these conversations, because getting to choose between safe affordable formula made with drinkable water or having the health, time, and support to breastfed is...a tiny percentage of reality for the vast number of women in the world.

@looch: I edited my post. I 100% agree with you but just didn't have the right wording. You don't need an excuse or reason any more than someone needs an excuse or reason to BF. You're feeding your baby. That's all that matters.

@looch: @char54: you say no mother should have to provide a "reason," but what about in the developing world, where (according to UNICEF), "Optimal breastfeeding of infants under two years of age has the greatest potential impact on child survival of all preventive interventions, with the potential to prevent over 800,000 deaths (13 per cent of all deaths) in children under five in the developing world (Lancet 2013). "

Again, I don't think that any woman should be forced to breastfeed....really, I don't. People have been finding alternative ways to feed their children since...probably since the first child was born. But sometimes I find it annoying when women in this country seem so obsessed with defending their absolute, not-going-away right to formula feed, when all around the world women are struggling to feed their children and, if they had support, might benefit from BF education (they don't HAVE to....but they might). All this talk about "breastfeeding pressure" actually works to undermine the value of breastfeeding education....why not just put to rest the BF vs. FF debate here, where we have the luxury to choose boppy vs. dr. brown's, and focus on other women who really have no good choice?

I guess what I'm trying to say is, what are we attempting to do when we talk about the "right" to formula feed? Just to normalize it here? (As if it weren't the norm already? Because in spite of what is happening online, in my part of the world--rural and poor--FF is by far the norm.) Because in Zimbabwe, for example, only six percent of women BF....it seems difficult for me to believe that, if educated properly, only six percent of women would attempt BF. More likely, cultural norms and formula marketing have prevented BF uptake. And when in the USA, women get so defensive about doctors promoting breastfeeding, and get angry when anyone even breathes about the value of BF....I get overwhelmed and sad. Here we squabble about choice, and elsewhere centuries of BF knowledge is struggling to survive, and could be of use to many women.

@Mrs. Sketchbook: Simply because I enjoy--by sheer luck and happenstance--the benefits of living in a first world country doesn't mean that I should be any less, to use your words, "obsessed with defending [my] absolute, not-going-away right to formula feed" . . . because it is my bodily integrity that is at issue here, which is so much bigger than the issue of BF/FF.

When you change the *facts* upon which all the previous posts have been based, i.e., First World versus Everywhere Else, of course it seems like petty "squabbling." But that's not fair. If you want to address BF on a global scale, great, let's do that. But don't swoop in and *shame* the pps for their (apparent) failure to examine BF/FF on a global scale.

@MsLipGloss: I guess I'm just saying, the BF issue is bigger than just our behind-closed-doors personal choices, and how we act in public (complaining about the lactation consultant, judging the overly-enthusiastic BF mom) can have an impact on policy throughout the world. I mean, incrementally, yes. Public opinion creates buzz, which creates change.

I feel like I've read so much anti-breastfeeding buzz recently (every time a new study comes out, someone is there to deconstruct it), that it is absolutely tiring, because the science still says it is a good thing for babies....in the developed world, maybe only a little, and in the developing world, it can be a lifesaver. Still, the "don't-take-away-my-formula" voice seems to be drowning all that out, in the name of a "choice" that many impoverished women, in this country and in ours (I did mention that in my rural and poor area FF is by far the norm), still don't get to make.

I guess I feel like these studies that are coming out saying that FF is not as bad as previously thought are not "anti breastfeeding" they're just "pro formula". They probably help comfort a lot of moms who can't/didn't breastfeed for whatever reason. I don't think they somehow hurt breast feeding mothers. I'm not seeing it anyway.

@looch: Fair enough. Although I will say on similar threads....for example, SAH vs WOH...there is always someone to say, "hey, this isn't always a matter of choice." And I think this is a similar case, although perhaps in the developed world that isn't the case as much. But perhaps it still is for the women who feel that they cannot BF and also go about their lives due to lack of ability to pump, lack of place to nurse for those that are modest, family pressures, have to work night shift, etc.

I have not read all the posts but I am going to say...Yes.

Why? Because in *most* cases the breast is readily available. That does not say that formula feeding is wrong in anyway. I do wish that formula feeding mama's got more respect.

Personally, I have started with ebf both of my LO's. With #1, we battled, and I cried daily with the struggle to keep going. We eventually (at 4 months) supplemented and life was heavenly. Even though of my struggles with my first LO, I decided to ebf with #2 and at 7 weeks we are still going strong. Now I know that many many women try for a day, week, month and it just doesn't work and switch to formula. GOOD for them. Recognizing the struggle for whatever reason, provides a very healthy relationship for mama and baby. The key is though, that it has been attempted.

On the other hand, it's a woman's choice and her choice should not be criticized. As long as baby is getting food, it's all good!

I don't think that all mothers should try-- it was the right choice for me, but I don't know what's going on in other people's minds (like PPs have said).

I think we are all really lucky to be in the situations we're in (not to generalize, but oh well): we all have access to the internet to access a parenting site in our spare time (or even better, while we're supposed to be "working"). Not every woman has the same luxury, and BFing takes time, patience, and resources that not everyone has access to. Pumping is even harder!

It doesn't even have to do anything with a woman's lifestyle or salary or environment-- if she doesn't want to BF, she shouldn't feel guilty or be criticized for it.

@Rainbow Sprinkles: and I am okay with your opinion (not that you need my validation) as an example of posting an opinion without being inflammatory.

@looch: @char54: I was posting on my phone earlier so I wasn't really able to properly read through everything. I am not trying to harp on the issue but I was just thinking about it. I do find it sad that you both (and I'm sure MANY other moms) feel judged for formula feeding. I remember when DS was just a few weeks old we had a cable guy at the house and it was time to feed DS so I gave him a bottle of expressed breast milk and the cable guy had the nerve to comment on the fact that I was already giving him a bottle. Like seriously, why can't people mind their own business??? Now I am being judged for the opposite reason - DS is still nursing at almost 18 months and people act like I'm trying to kill him. Anyway, the point I was trying to make earlier was that I absolutely do not think any woman should be forced to try breastfeeding and in fact there are several situations where I would actively discourage breastfeeding in favor of formula feeding. I was not commenting in any way that I think a woman needs a reason to formula feed. Yes, she will have a reason, even if it's just that it is easier for her, but it doesn't make it anyone's business.