Hellobee Boards

@T-Mom: Got it - I wasn't sure! Yeah, I can definitely see the nuts and seeds, since as you mentioned those can be airborne. But the dairy thing sounds strange to me, since you could presumably keep the children separated if one was taking a bottle, etc.

@theotherstark: nope - my friend's DD will welt up immediately if dairy touches her skin - she is also one of those kids are who allergic to everything under the sun - her mom homeschools her

@Mamaof2: Ahh, okay that's what I was wondering. Yikes! That's scary.

Since this is an in-home center, will the person/family who runs the center be giving up all of these foods permanently as well, since there's a possibility that their food or particles could somehow come into contact with the child?

I guess my real issue is that they only gave you one day to prepare, and didn't offer any particular guidance on how to help with meals/snacks, etc. I would be a little peeved, especially since they knew your daughter is still taking bottles.

Were you able to raise your concerns with the center, and perhaps get further information/guidance?

@Mamaof2: yikes!

@T-Mom: you're right, it is not. I am so grateful that we just have intolerances. Huge kudos to you for handling such a scary thing.

I would outright tell them no on the dairy and egg thing. Nuts I understand, but it's the daycare's responsibility to make sure a child with allergies doesn't eat someone else's food. Asking kids to give up dairy is not ok in my opinion. My son eats WCM yogurt every day, and drinks a dairy-based formula. He also loves cheese and eggs. And as others have pointed out eggs are in practically everything.

There are plenty of other daycares, I'd tell them either I wasn't following their instructions or they could lose my business.

I would be ok with the nuts ban, since that is reasonable. The rest of it can be taken care of by them watching the children. If they aren't willing, I would change centers.

Have you talked to the other parents? How do they feel about this?

Wow, that really sucks for everyone involved. I think it was handled poorly by the daycare - you should have had 1-2 weeks notice to do a diet overhaul like that! What kind of milk are you allowed to use? No dairy, no soy...I'm assuming no almond? My grandmother had a dairy intolerance and always drank rice milk... it was pretty good... that might be a possibility?

I guess you can't do sunbutter, since that's a seed.... I found this one on Amazon, made of peas, but it's $15! http://www.amazon.com/The-Sneaky-Chef-Creamy-No-Nut/dp/B00FE0GYO2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1412359420&sr=8-1&keywords=no+nut+butter

My LO likes meat, so we do Earth's Best meatballs once a week. We also do a lot of pasta, which I'm assuming you could do?

I would ask the director if they would be willing to work out other arrangements, such as feeding the children separately (if the other allergens, such as dairy, would not cause problems if airborne). I think no nuts is understandable, but that is quite a few restrictions. I think it would be more than fair to ask for suggestions from the parents of the child with the allergies.
Tough situation all around!

@Sapphiresun: I am the mom that has the child with allergies and I would NEVER ask other parents to accommodate my child like that. M is very allergic to milk but the other kids still eat and drink dairy. The providers (center) just make sure is separate from it and that everyone washes hands.

WAY over the top. I'd be searching for a new daycare.

i agree with the majority and think the worst part is that they gave you a day's notice, wtf!

ummm maybe I'm a bitch, but I would pull my kid. I get it-- it must be horribly scary for that child's parents. I have friends with a severely allergic daughter and her epi pen goes EVERYWHERE, but I think it is way too much to ask an in home provider to do. I would look into other child care options. A 14 month old is supposed to drink milk; even if it was BM it would be allergenic to this kid since you eat the restricted items. Anyway, good luck finding a new diet on no notice!

Honestly, I would switch daycares over this.

@yin: I think people are understanding, but when it's not only a severe inconvenience and hardship on them, but also potentially compromising the nutritional needs of their children that is another thing.

My co-worker has to do serious research into every product they have in her house. She has spent hours calling manufacturers to confirm which products are made in factories with allergens and which aren't. I'm sorry, but if her child was in my daycare, it would be a cold day in hell before I alter my lifestyle (and start doing that kind of research) to avoid allergens of her child.

The daycare really should be providing food from this point on if it's that much of a concern. If I were the provider, I wouldn't want that responsibility on my plate and would have to tell them that I couldn't accept their child in my care.

@yin: So, my kid has a diagnosed oral motor issue and is in therapy for it. He can and does eat about 5 things, one of them is peanut butter. It was not allowed at his daycare, so I didn't send it. But tell me now that dairy is not allowed, and I have eliminated another three of his safe foods. I would not be able to simply come up with another feeding plan in the middle of the week, while juggling every other thing going on. As parents, aren't we all trying to do the best for our children? What would you advise me to do in this situation?

@Arden: I agree.

I would be looking for a different daycare.

I might see if the daycare can clarify with the parent which of the allergies are severe/dangerous and must be omitted (probably at least nuts) and if the others are less severe and would be okay as long as the center is careful about supervising (hopefully dairy). This happened when I was a teacher. We got word that a new student would have a severe peanut and dairy allergy, but when talking with the mom, it turned out that the dairy one wasn't as severe and he could at least still be around it.

For those of you saying that if your child had severe allergies, you wouldn't send them to daycare, that must be pretty nice to be able to afford to stay home with them or hire a nanny. Not everyone has that luxury. A nanny in our area would cost over twice as much as our daycare does, and we can't afford to have one of us quit our jobs to stay home with Xander.

Xander's allergic to dairy. Anaphylactic allergic. If he comes into contact with dairy, he'll break out into hives. We've been to the ER for his allergies and he has an EpiPen at daycare and one we have with us at all times. Finding dairy-free substitutes IS hard.

But I would never expect his daycare not to allow other children to have dairy. They have it ALL THE TIME. They provide milk for the kids and they provide food for all the children: lunches and snacks. Every month, they give me the menu and I cross off everything Xander can't have and give it back to them. I send hemp milk to the daycare as well as almond yogurt. On days where the lunch is predominately dairy-fill (like mac & cheese), I send an alternative lunch.

I don't expect the other children not to have dairy while Xander's there. What I DO expect is that whenever food is out, they watch my son like a hawk and ensure that he doesn't get his hands on anything he's not supposed to and that they clean up anything that falls on the floor, so he can't get into it later. Dairy alternatives are EXPENSIVE. It would be unfair to ask other parents to have to burden themselves with buying all dairy free items just because my child is going to the same daycare as theirs.

@Adira: same same same 100%

I would be surprised if all the other parents agreed to do this, especially on such short notice. I have been on pretty much this same diet for LO's MSPI and food sensitivities for the past 9 months or so and it is HARD. I would never, ever expect other parents to make their kids eat this way for us. I feel for the family of the child with allergies, but I think it is way too much of an imposition for the other families. This child is going to have to navigate the world with their allergies at some point. I would expect the daycare to be hypervigilant about the foods that the child comes into contact with but I wonder if this daycare will even be able to stay in business with such restrictions in place.