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I've thought a lot about this. My husband and I are going through IUI right now and I don't have any hang ups about that. It's IVF that I am not sure about. My belief is that life begins at conception and so I'd see any embryos as my babies. The idea of freezing the ones I don't use is something I struggle with. That in no way means I think badly of people who do IVF. That isn't the case at all! Anyways, my husband and I have talked about it. If IUI doesn't work for us I'm not sure what we will do. I want to be pregnant and have babies so badly, so going through with IVF is a strong possibility. I'm not against adopting either.

Sorry for the rambling post. This is pretty much how my train of thought on the topic goes too.

I'm Catholic, but like many Catholics, pick and choose especially when it comes to... sex and reproduction, I guess? So based more on my moral compass which was pointed by a Catholic upbringing, I would have a very hard time doing IVF. I'd worry about the extra embryos that are made and what to do with them. I wouldn't have a problem with IUI though-- it's only the actual embryos being made and not used that would upset me. It's only my own personal opinion and what I personally would be comfortable with, I'm glad these options are there, but that's where I would draw the line for myself. For the record, we had no problem with birth control and premarital sex.

@mrs. bird: I think that's great that you had agreed on what you would do ahead of time-- we had a similar conversation way before marriage.

I had a friend (Catholic) who had to do IVF. She opted only to have 3 embryos made, and 2 transferred. So one is on ice, which they will either use later or donate to another couple. That's how they reconciled it - no excess embryos. But I know that is high cost/risk for a lot of people.

I'm Catholic too and I wouldn't do IVF for the same reason as what other ladies have said. I don't like the idea of my babies being on ice, I don't like the idea of them being thrown away, I don't like the idea of selective reduction. But even though I've been practising Catholic all my life, I really don't understand why IUI is supposed to be so terrible. I've looked it up on Catholic forums and it still doesn't make sense to me. I think if we get to that point, we'll have to talk to a priest and see if he can make that rule make sense to me.

Not me, but my brother and SIL are unable to have biological children by any other means other than IVF (she had a string of eptopic pregnancies several years ago and had to have both tubes removed). I suppose they could also use a surrogate..

In any case, they've chosen to (eventually) adopt, because they strongly feel than anything past getting pregnant by the good ole in and out is removing God from the process.

As for your specific situation, I'll withhold my opinion, except to say good luck! 9 months isn't awful (I know, I'm sorry, but i feel okay saying it because it took us 13), and hopefully you'll get your baby before it comes down to having to make that decision.

Good luck!

You could also speak to the fertility clinic about how they reconcile Catholic beliefs. They could fertilize and implant only one or two embryos. I'm sure a large percentage of their clientele are Catholics in hiding that are OK with IVF, maybe, but not with all aspects of it, so the clinic, I'm sure, makes it work for them.

There are also a LOT of things that can be done before you get to the IUI/IVF stage. Especially since you have only been actively TTC for 2 months. There could be something with your hormones or timing that needs to be fixed with medication, one of your tubes could be blocked and just needs to be flushed out....It's not like you jump straight to IVF

I'm a Christian, and it's never been implied at the church I attend that this would be an issue. In fact, I remember at a baptism I attended, the pastor spoke about the couple's struggle with infertility and all that they had been through. It was one of the most touching baptisms I've witnessed.

This is one of the things I have come to love about faith--so many different thoughts and ways to view different matters. Hearing what others believe, reading about it.....that kind of soul searching can shape you in such a positive way if you allow it. I hope contemplating this issue can be a good experience and a way for you two to grow together as a couple and in your faith. And to echo what @Blackbird said, you are far off from having to really consider that as an option, so no sad puppy eyes yet!

As a Christian, I think this is one of those areas that isn't black or white. DH and I have decided that we wouldn't pursue fertility treatments if we couldn't get pregnant without them. We would just pursue adoption, which has always been in the back of our minds anyway. We're grateful that we haven't had to make that decision, but we have several friends that have. They are Godly people, and I don't doubt that it was a hard decision.

We are Christian, conceived our children with the help of IVF, have no frozen embryos, and believe that God was very much a part of our journey, conception, and pregnancy. Even with the help of medical technology, our children are still miracles, just like any other child.

Have you looked into NaPro technology? My husband and I are practicing Catholics, and we found the Pope Paul VI Institute (http://www.popepaulvi.com/) to be a great resource for directing us towards information and doctors who practiced within the Church's teachings when we were struggling with fertility issues. We were using the Creighton method of NFP when we were trying to prevent, and NaPro uses that information in addressing fertility issues. You'll obviously have to discern for yourself what you believe, but it may be helpful to know that there are options for guidance and treatment within the faith before going straight to IVF, etc. if you're already under the emotional strain of possible infertility.

@Sugar.Biscuit: I'm also a convert (5 years ago this coming Easter), so I understand some of your struggle. My best advice is that we are ultimately responsible for our own choices and we alone deal with the consequences of those choices. The church guides us and supports us, but in the end, only you and your husband can make the decision that is right for you. That goes not just for the church's stance on sex/fertility, but in all areas of life, I think. Good luck! I hope this is all just hypothetical and you get a BFP soon without any extra interventions!

@MrsCB:

"I also feel like, if you believe in God, then God is in all things - especially in conception, no matter how the sperm meets the egg."

I love how you phrased this

@MrsCB: +1
God (no matter what religion) is supposed to be all knowing and all loving, so in this day and age I cannot imagine anyone's God disapproving of reproduction between a married man and woman.

I'm a Christian, and would never in a million years let my religion stop me from doing what I need to for my family or to have a family. Just like you said "that didn't stop you when we were dating, living together, having premarital sex, using BC & condoms." if you went against your religion in those ways (which are pretty big ways normally), then I don't see why this would be an issue?

I don't know anything about Catholics though, so forgive me for not understanding.

We're catholics but when was struggling with PCOS i'd have done anything it took to get our baby, including IVF. Hubs wasn't keen on IUI or IVF but I know ultimately he'd have sucked it up because he wants a big family. Luckily acupuncture got us our bfp but who knows for next time...

I've been a lurker on Hellobee since we began TTC in January 2012 and registered just to answer this post. I am Catholic and almost 12 weeks pregnant thanks to IVF. We tried one round of IUI (which was truly no big deal!) and were advised to go to IVF due to male and female factor infertility. God gave us this technology to help people struggling with infertility to have children. Making the decision to try IVF was not an easy one though and I struggled with it greatly.

I had 17 eggs retrieved and 16 fertilized. The doctor transferred two embryos and froze seven. The other seven did not progress enough to be frozen. I was pregnant with twins but lost one due to Vanishing Twin Syndrome.

We will need our embryos to have a second and possibly third child down the road. If we have embryos left and we are done expanding our family we have decided to have a compassionate transfer done. This is an avenue that most people do not know about; it wasn't even an option on our paperwork. I feel better that nature will take its course rather than allowing my embryos to be destroyed. The Catholic Church may not agree with me but I don't agree with all of their teachings either. Sorry for the long response

@swedishfish: very well said!

I'd never heard of a compassionate transfer, that it's an interesting idea. Congrats and welcome!

@swedishfish: welcome to hb! I have never heard about this very interesting option, but after Googling it sounds like there not much real difference between this and outright disposal, except that it helps parents to have more closure/less guilt perhaps? I'm interested to hear your thoughts on what the benefits are.

@sloaneandpuffy: And thanks for the welcome