The due date for the pregnancy I lost was last week, and I have to admit, it really hurt that dh didn't remember. I asked "do you know what today is?" and he guessed about 5 other things before I told him. I mean, I get it, it was an early loss, and I'm pregnant again so he's sort of forgotten about the loss...but I haven't, and it makes me feel alone all over again about it. It was such an early loss that it's easy to dismiss, but dismissing it makes me feel worse.
I also told my mom, and she was kind of like "oh" and was quiet for a few seconds before changing the subject...
cantaloupe / 6869 posts
No. my husband remembers that it was April but he wouldn't remember the date. I haven't told many people about our loss because I'm really private so there wouldn't be many people to remember anyway.
kiwi / 739 posts
Same thing happened to me. My mom was out of the country and I was so mad she didn't reach out. DH claims he knew but I think he forgot. to all of you!
pear / 1558 posts
No, my DH doesn't even seem to remember that we lost our 1st on our 1st wedding anniversary. I sometimes wish I could forget that or disassociate the two, but I never will.
pomelo / 5866 posts
My five year old LO's due date was on the 1st anniversary of our loss. She came a week later and not actually on her due date. People don't remember (but I do) because we are wrapped up in planning LO's birthday.
grapefruit / 4988 posts
No, nobody thinks of them except me. I don't even remember my specific due dates (I know one was first week of May, one was last week of May, and one was September). I do remember when I lost them though.
pomegranate / 3863 posts
No, DH doesnt even remember our 2 due dates for our losses so i wouldnt expect anyone else to remember. Our second due date was last weekend though and when i brought it up he got very sentimental so that made me feel good that he still cares and thinks about our babies. I haven't brought it up with anyone else because i know that people dont know what to say and it just makes them uncomfortable so i just spare them. It sucks though...
pomelo / 5129 posts
I don't expect others to remember. I don't want to end up mad at DH, so I remind him ahead of time
I did have a few friends and SIL reach out on our daughters due date. It was a second tri loss so more people had asked about the due date, and a few that remembered were due around then with their own.
It hurt more when my mom and SIL were the only ones to reach out on her first birthday. Not even my sister said anything. And it's the day after my dad's birthday so it's not really like my family can forget the association.
persimmon / 1026 posts
Very few people reached out to me on my daughter's due date before I posted something on FB. She was a second tri loss, so everyone knew we were expecting in early May. It hurt, but I've come to realize that others don't think of her daily like we do and it's a tough reality. Others in a support group I attend said they learned to tell others what they need ahead of dates so you won't be disappointed the day of. It sucks because you just want people to remember on their own but unfortunately it doesn't always happen.
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
My husband obviously knew that our most recent baby was due in October, but he sort of blocked the rest. My due date was Halloween, but I most likely would have been induced this week. My mom is aware and some friends have been very vocal and supportive. We lost him at almost 19 weeks.
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
@nana87: I'm sorry that others have let you feel like your loss doesn't matter. It matters
pomelo / 5326 posts
The first time our little girl's due date came around (lost at 23 weeks) a number of my friends and family acknowledged it. When it came around again, only one friend mentioned it. My DH doesn't remember her DD. I feel it is forever etched into my brain but I don't expect others to remember.
persimmon / 1270 posts
I think about it often, not sure that dh remembers. But he does remember when we lost the pregnancy, but there isn't a real date for that, it was a slow process.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
No. I don't think anyone knows the due date except for me.
hostess / cantaloupe / 6486 posts
I haven't made it to that point yet (it will be next month) but I don't think anyone will remember. DH was always confused about the due date for the 2 kids we have, I don't expect him to remember it for the one we never met.
grapefruit / 4361 posts
No one remembers ours bc it was an early loss at 7 weeks. More significant to us is the month of October - which is the month we found out about the pregnancy, had our first ultrasound, started bleeding, ectopic scare, and then miscarriage confirmation. All various dates in October. My cousin also had a preterm birth loss in October.
cantaloupe / 6791 posts
It's been 4 years since our miscarriage, so I doubt anyone remembers the due date besides DH and I. When the due date came around the first year, we talked about it a lot.
@DesertDreams88: Same here. I found out in June, but our first ultrasound (missed miscarriage at 9 weeks) was in July, so the end of July is always sad to me. My husband's cousin had her daughter two days after our D&C and when I see her birthday posts, it always hits me.
cantaloupe / 6630 posts
DH does because we celebrate it by going out with the kids to do something we think our loss baby would have enjoyed had they been born. He probably doesn't know the exact date, but because we talk about what we will do on that date well in advance, he is aware and thinking about it. No one else remembers. I remember my sister's and always message her on that date to say I am thinking of her. It's the day after her birthday so very easy to remember.