My MIL made a lot of stupid comments throughout my second pregnancy about how weak I was for having a c-section for my first and ultimately choosing RCS for LO 2. She hasn't said anything for this pregnancy...fingers crossed.
I just told my friend that I am pregnant with LO #3 and she told me that I should really try a "real birth" for my 3rd (and prob final) kid. I haven't decided yet but I am leaning towards a RCS.
pomegranate / 3791 posts
Yep. Not directly, but veiled insults. My cousin's wife is the worst - she manages an OB department/birthing center and constantly posts obnoxious updates like, "Ordered more birthing balls today! Saving babies and mamas from c-sections!" Um...okay. Silly me for thinking my c-section was what saved me and my baby rather than it being something we needed to be saved from. She also likes to post studies about unnecessary c-sections and the risks and makes you feel like you need to justify your c-section to her. But of course, if anyone dares mention the risks of home births she can't handle it. Yeah, she manages a birth center and had a home birth...shrug.
I hate these comments so much. Recovering from a c-section, particularly when you already gave a toddler to care for, is sure as hell not for the weak! And anything resulting in a child counts as birth. There are not varying degrees of real-ness!
pomegranate / 3577 posts
@autumnlove: Your MIL is a piece of work. Next time she says something about being "weak", you can tell her "at least my pelvic floor isn't weak!"
Seriously, I don't get the shaming for a "real birth". I had a real birth. Twice. Through the miracle of modern medicine, both me and my babies are fine. What more do these jokers want with your body and your decisions?
pomegranate / 3331 posts
Never! "real birth?" that's obnoxious! but i just have to say i was reading this and saw "I am pregnant with 3" and had a mini heart attack for you being pregnant with triplets! need more coffee this morning 
grapefruit / 4923 posts
whoa, that's horrible. i haven't had a c-section but would be really f'ing pissed if someone made me feel badly about it.
pineapple / 12793 posts
Ugh your MIL.
My SIL likes to go on and on about how my niece managed to birth twins vaginally and how impressed the doctors were at her ability to push them out.
Ummmm yeah they arrived at 34 weeks and combined weighed less than my first. Shut it.
pomegranate / 3791 posts
@oliviaoblivia: Ohhh yes, I get that from my SIL too! She had three hour long labors and pushed approximately five times with both of her kids. I had a 20 hour labor followed by an emergency c-section, and then a repeat c-section because of issues related to my gestational diabetes. So I do not want to hear about how easy birth is for her and how impressed the doctors were.
eggplant / 11824 posts
ugh, your MIL can suck it 
No one has "made me feel badly" for having a C-section, because haters gonna hate and I don't care what nonsense they spew. I'm happy with my C-section and feel it was a totally "real birth".
My step-MIL has made several comments about other family member's pregnancies/deliveries and how "wonderful it is they didn't have a C-section", but whateves. She's spiteful anyway.
grapefruit / 4731 posts
Wow that sucks!! I'm sorry your MIL is kind of a jerk.
I had to have a c-section due to a breech baby ... no way around it really... though I did have a sucessful last minute rotation ... I still ended up with a c-section because of baby heart rate issues. My family has been super supportive (especially my in laws!) and most of them even said that as long as the baby is healthy it doesn't matter how it came into the world.
coconut / 8472 posts
Wow, that's terrible. Luckily I've never gotten a comment about it. And I guess if I didn't go through real birth then I don't have a real baby either? Maybe next time I can have a fake pregnancy and go the "easy route" for that too 
.
cantaloupe / 6669 posts
No, thankfully, because I was very sensitive. But I did have a few people ask prying questions about why I had a C-section... and since I was so defensive at the time it made me uncomfortable.
kiwi / 706 posts
people who haven't had a c-section have told me how "sorry" they are that I did. sorry for what? I had a great c-section experience and a healthy baby and wouldn't hesitate to do a RCS. people are just ridiculous. sorry that one happens to be your MIL ---ughhh.
pomelo / 5524 posts
What a terrible thing to say!
I'm afraid of this with #2. I had an emergency C-section with DS, and I told one good friend who is an L&D nurse that I was likely going to have a repeat C-section, and she said, "you know, you can always try for a VBAC." Yup...I know that, but I'm choosing not to because of my first birth experience and almost losing LO. But thanks!
LO's birth wasn't any less "real" because he came out a different way.
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts
Hmmm, no not really I've had the comments "that's too bad you missed out on real birth" or "oh no, are you handling it okay, that's so sad you didn't experience birth?" Oh I'm sorry I didn't realize I didn't experience a child coming into this world out of my body because I had a C-section. And trust me I got to experience real birth, I pushed for 2 1/2 hours and recovered from both types of birth...it's too bad you will never experience a C-section and know how degrading some of your "innocent" comments are... I just laugh it off and make it very known that I experienced birth too...most people come back with "well you know what I mean."
I have absolutely no regrets scheduling my repeat, none at all!
pomegranate / 3845 posts
Nope. I loved my c-section and would totally go that route again! It was a super easy recovery and I didn't tear my vag. Win-win.
grapefruit / 4671 posts
People are say things here and there, but I haven't had any bad comments from family or very close friends. I wonder how they will react when I tell them that I am not even considering vbac this time 
pomelo / 5041 posts
I haven't really faced any negative comments about my c-section. Most people (friends who are on their 2nd and 3rd babies, nurses I work with, etc.) who I ask about trying a VBAC for the twins wonder why and definitely suggest a RCS. So I guess I've been lucky.
Don't listen to your family, friends and other naysayers. It's a totally personal decision. You're still giving birth, just a different way, and I would assume that for most if not all of us your first c-section was a necessity, not a choice, and who can blame you for that. There are plenty of risks with both an RCS and a VBAC so there shouldn't be a given preference by people of one over the other.
coconut / 8234 posts
I made myself feel bad about having a C-section but no one in my life has made me feel bad or said anything negative about it.
A real birth is one in which a baby comes out of your body.
pomegranate / 3565 posts
In real life, only by my SIL. With a look of disdain, she told me I was lucky that I don't have to push my babies out.
persimmon / 1396 posts
Yea, let someone say that to me and they might get punched in the face. I labored for 28 hours and had an emergency c section bc LO was stuck. My pelvic opening wasn't big enough. If her little head couldn't fit, why would I attempt labor again. RCS all the way with this one.
apricot / 309 posts
I'm only 14 weeks, but at my last appointment there was some indication that I may need a c-section (obviously way too early to know for sure). When I mentioned to various family members that a c-section was a possibility, they all acted like that was the worst thing in the world. Most of them assumed I would do everything possible to avoid a c-section, even if it meant a less safe birth, and they thought there was something wrong with me because I said I'd have no problem with a scheduled c-section. I was offended.
pomegranate / 3275 posts
I hate that people act like C-sections are the worst thing in the world. I'm already upset about my C-sections, I don't need other people chiming in.
All those people suck, and I'm sorry you have all had such nasty comments.
For those having RCS, it is a LOT easier to explain to your older children where the baby comes out
At this point I've had three C-sections, they aren't that bad!
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts
@babynumber1: Same here! I tried, I gave it my best shot, but she got stuck and we both got fevers. My doc said I would most likely end up in a repeat anyways...so schedule away I'm not putting myself through that again only to end up in surgery! Lets pick a date and time and give me my baby
persimmon / 1396 posts
@MamaBehr: That is true! My husband calls my c section scar LO's escape hatch. She knows that is where she came out of.
pomegranate / 3577 posts
@LuLu Mom: My first c-section was a pretty easy recovery, and the second (scheduled) was even easier. (Not to mention my 2nd was 2 lb bigger than my first. I would have not been prepared for him to come out my lady exit!)
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts
@Espion: I thought my first recovery was pretty easy too, so I'm hoping that my next one is as easy! My daughter was 8 lbs 10 oz. everyone was shocked, they all guessed 7 max She was hiding her chunk! haha so if this baby is just as big I'm going to be so thankful for my section! My sisters and I apparently all make very big babies, there hasn't been one under 8 lbs yet!
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