I'm not sure whether to post this under adoption or infertility, but here goes.
I was just reading about embryo adoption. Would you ever consider this?
http://www.embryoadoption.org/
What about those of you who don't think you could adopt? This would give you the chance to carry the pregnancy. Would that change your views?
bananas / 9899 posts
I definitely would. I think that is AMAZING! Does this really actually exist!?
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
@pui: It really does. I hadn't heard of it until just now. I'm sure there is A TON of legal stuff involved in it, and I'm certain without even looking that it's insanely expensive. But it's for real.
pomelo / 5041 posts
@mrs. polish: Would this be an embryo that say was frozen for someone else's fertility treatments and now they don't plan on using? Or is it just an egg donation? It sounds like the former and for people whose issue is their own egg or sperm quality, it would be a great way to let the woman still carry the infant to term herself. I hadn't heard of this, but could see people being pretty interested in it. Is it really expensive?
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
I would not be into this, but I was a horrible baby house and was seeking to avoid pregnancy... so not a good option for us.
The legal is insanely lax but it seems to be increasingly regulated. The one thing I take real issue with is how to handle the topic of the adoption with the child... since it's not as cut and dry as a infant placement.
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
@marionberry: That is what I would assume. The link I posted provides information for people wanting to donate their embryos. I'm not sure on the cost, but I'll look into it further. It isn't something I personally want to do right now, but I am interested in learning more about it.
pomelo / 5628 posts
It's more commonly referred to as a donor embryo. When you go through IVF, you have to say ahead of time what you want to so with the remaining embryos. We chose donate to research.
GOLD / coconut / 8266 posts
We chose this option for one of our scenarios. We have seven frozen embryos at the moment but will use more down the road.
hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts
I think since I have IF, I'm afraid that I'll still be disappointed if I still can't get pregnant and be out the money. Partly the reason why we decided not to persue IVF.
Also, isn't this known as egg donation or using an egg donator?
honeydew / 7968 posts
I've heard about it but didn't want to do it. I'd rather just adopt. I don't need to carry for 9 months to love my child. We had an option to donate our frozen embryos. We chose to discard because we didn't like the idea of our baby out in the world who wasn't ours.
On another note, if they could do it with either my egg or my hubby's sperm, I'd be willing to do it.
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
@bluestriped bee: I assumed an egg donation would get separate donor sperm to be fertilized. This is an embryo that is exactly like an adopted child.
blogger / pomegranate / 3300 posts
I don't think I would. I had PCOS but also trouble getting pregnant once they induced ovulation. I didn't want to do IVF or embryo adoption because I thought it would still fail.
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
@Mrs. Train: I've been thinking of it a lot and I don't think I could either. I would be concerned that it would fail, but also the emotional complications that it would bring up.
cantaloupe / 6730 posts
I did some looking into it. I loved the idea because it felt like a win win. Someone got to have a baby of their own and didn't have to discard the extras. I believe that it's less than IVF because you aren't paying for the egg retrieval, some od the drugs and the fertilization part. And it is whole embryos, not just eggs. If I remember right, it's not that common and only a few cities do it.
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
@Mrs. Polish: I do "know" a few people online who did it. What I gleaned from their experience was that there was an element of, "I carried and delivered this child, so the adoption factor is somehow less important.". I also feel like (and I hope this isn't too much of a stereotype), that the people who do it tend to see it as some sort of mission work... Like they are saving babies who otherwise would have been "killed". (their words). One woman was really eager to do it because she could control the prenatal environment of her adopted child. Others continued to have problems maintaining a pregnancy even when they used frozen embryos, and they spent a fair amount of money trying to adopt that way.
I just really wonder if it changes the way thingss are talked about as the child grows up and what these children think about their adoptions. On the plus side, I'd imagine that there isn't a birth family agonizing about the choice to place, since that's what they designated after their successful IVFs.
Embryo adoption is still pretty much the wild west and it is interesting to see how it will evolve.
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
I don't think I could do this. Maybe it's selfish but, knowing my husband and I are fertile, I wouldn't see any reason to do this.
It looks like this would be a good choice for someone who couldn't get pregnant because of issues on the Dad's side and considered adoption. At least that's how I see it? It's pretty amazing what modern medicine can do...
honeydew / 7230 posts
I've thought about this from the other side. If we have frozen embryos from our (future) IVF cycle, what will we do with them? I was open to the idea of donating them to other couples going through infertility. However, my husband was really against it. I think he's just weirded out that there could be children out there that we wouldn't know about. What if our kids grew up and met those people and fell in love and it was their biological sibling? Personally, I think the chance of that happening is low, but he was really worried about that! If we have leftover embryos (once we're totally done with kids) we've decided we'll donate them to science instead.
honeydew / 7916 posts
I think there are a lot of things you can't imagine yourself doing or think you would never do until life puts you in a situation where you have to choose. We thought IVF was a bizarre, distant concept and we'd never pay money to have a baby, until we were told it was the only way we could conceive. Similarly, embryo adoption never entered my mind until recently when when we had to do the paperwork for IVF and we had to decide what to do with any extra embryos we didn't use, if there were any.
I can see how for us it could potentially become an option if I need to consider donor eggs (because my ovarian reserves are low but otherwise they can't find a reason I couldn't carry a pregnancy). We're not comfortable with only one of us being a biological parent, so it would be nice to have the option of donor embryos if we still want to go through pregnancy and be our child's birth parents.
@Mrs. Jacks: I think with some organizations the parents do get to choose which couple to place their embryos with? I could be remembering wrong, but I think I remember telling my DH that we could choose a family to place our embryo with and he didn't seem impressed. But that's if you do it privately and not through your clinic.
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