Hellobee Boards

I don't have good suggestions, but I just want to chime in to let you know you are a great friend. I think flowers and a handwritten card is more than enough. My mom recently passed away, and those two are the best things that I have gotten. Personally, I'd say I'd rather leave her alone and don't try to rub it in and get her something that reminds her of him.... you don't know where she is in terms of mourning. Mourning does come in stages, and it is very tricky if you send something (bigger than flowers and cards) in the wrong time. I have recently framed my mom's picture when she was much younger and hung it up, but that's very personal and I am not sure how I would feel if a friend, or even my husband, would give me that.

I'd say maybe send her another card in the mail after a while and let her know you are thinking about her, and you are there for her. That would be very heart warming. Of course I am interested to see what others suggested.

@Jennibenni: Oh also I just remembered. One of my friends sent me a massage gift card a few months after my dad died and it was sooo nice. I am also pregnant and was working really hard at the time so I think her card said something like “I know you’ve had a rough few months, go take care of yourself” or something. It was SO SWEET. But I think it was more in response to my pregnancy.

@Jennibenni: Honestly, a handwritten card trumps taking her out to coffee. Truthfully. Depending on how she is, sometimes she may not want to talk about it, and then it is awkward that you are putting her on the spot. At least that's how I feel when a more extroverted friend who kept pushing me to go out, and finally I was out and I had to think about what I want to say about my mother's passing. argh. But then again you know your friend best.

Another thing is, do not just text her. Send her a card in the mail at least in the next couple of weeks/months. Texting is easy. Buying, writing, and sending a card requires effort and it shows that you are really thinking about her. Not saying you shouldn't text her, but text plus card if you want to be nice and thoughtful

And wow I agree with @thepicklemonster: a gift card together with a handwritten card would be very very nice. Do that

@Jennibenni: Set a reminder in your phone or something to remember her next year at the time of his death. That was one of the hardest parts for me was the next year I was in a funk and felt like I had to keep reminding people why. It would have been amazing if someone had reached out and just said, hey just checking in I know this might be rough. It seems so far away right now but it will be awesome for your friend. I know personally I didn't want anything anyone else picked out in terms of remembrance items, eventually I got a necklace made with his handwriting, but it was my choice in my own time frame. A gift card for food and a simple card might be nice (particularly around the holidays) where grief might hit her strongly again as she realized that this is the start of not having her dad at a holiday celebration ever again.

I lost my father almost 3 years ago exactly one week before Christmas. He was only 47 and I was 24 so this was a very tragic time for me. Not sure if this is a good idea or not but I figured I would throw it out there.

My two closer cousins got me a shadow box for Christmas with some nice "Greatest Dad Ever" stickers and an ornament that I could put his picture in. I loved the idea and found it to be very thoughtful. I was able to put one of his shirts in it along with some other things that reminded me of him. I have it right in our hallway where I can see it every day. It is something that makes me smile everytime I walk past it.

I also recommend remembering the date and following up with your friend each year. It sounds terrible but I almost expect people to text me on that day (because I just really need the support) and get upset if I don't hear from someone important. Prayers to your friend and their family.