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I have zero experience in this, so take this with a grain of salt. I have heard from a number of folks in the community I'm in that they typically opt for private school for kids who are gifted. Unless they're really well resourced, public schools typically have a hard time meeting kids where they're at (on both sides of the abilities spectrum). My daughter isn't gifted (I don't think) but is above grade level in reading and math, and we've seen her teachers give her some extra challenging work to the extent they're able and our school does divide kids into learning groups by level so that they can give kids appropriate level work, but there's only so much they can do. We try to give my daughter whatever reading material she wants to supplement what they're doing in school, and build in math challenges during play (if she asks for it, we're definitely not pushy on this). She'll be in advanced placement next year (3rd grade) and we'll keep monitoring it.

I don't think it's a misstep in any way to talk to your school administration and ask how they might meet your daughter's needs. I might recommend talking with an AAP (advanced placement) specialist at the school as well, they have good insight into this stuff typically. You might have magnet schools in your district - I know some do, where they pull gifted kids out into their own cohorts. The school administration and AAP teachers would know whether that exists.

Good luck!

ETA my oldest is 9 so this is a perspective a few years into school!

I would say you definitely should learn more about what your public district offers (or nearby if you would consider moving). It varies SO much and some are great and some are not. It’s worth looking at public because they often have to offer gifted services and the rules will be defined by your state I believe. Do they have to offer clustering in classrooms? Do they have true gifted magnets? What special programs do they offer? Do they have to offer subject and grade acceleration? Those things are legislated here in TX. I learned so much from a friend who heads our local gifted parents association! It’s based on the district but not truly affiliated so I believe private parents could join also. You really need some mentors who understand the local situation.

I think on the whole, private schools have less of a spectrum of abilities to cater to since they often don’t have many disadvantaged students. So they can be more advanced on average - but they may also have less ability to really push the top kids because they’re smaller. My husband went to a private school that sends a fair number of kids to Ivies and such and felt he was challenged enough there. So maybe even looking at where your school’s graduates go would be helpful and what classes are they offering at upper levels?

My kids go to public school, my oldest tested into the top gifted program. She has always been way ahead. Honestly the regular gifted programs have been pretty meh so far. They’re supposed to be grouped and get advanced work replacement but it hasn’t happened yet much at all (maybe post covid will be better). The weekly pullout can be fun for them but it’s not amazing or anything. I would rate our district as pretty average and you often see better programs the more affluent the district is.

In our district, once they’re designated gifted (they take the cogat to determine that, pretty common) they are eligible to subject or full grade accelerate. We just had her take the test to subject accelerate in math only (so go to the next grade class for math) and waiting for results. Because she made the top tier of about 20 kids her age in our large district, she was invited to a new program the district is starting where these 20 kids have a protected class at a magnet and do 4th/5th in one year and get to do things you can only do with all gifted students. But we actually ended up declining and opting only for subject acceleration. We didn’t feel a grade skip or moving schools would be good for her socially so we’re hoping the math skip will help enough. It’s the subject where there’s the least ability to enrich in the classroom. So much is dependent on individual teachers too and so every year can be different. Once she gets to JH in a few years they have gifted protected sections for major subjects and I expect that to help. Again this could be equivalent to what a private school offers - just depends on the school.

There is a huge social component to any choices you make for gifted kids - if you send them to a special school, or skip a grade, or similar - and I can only imagine it magnified for twins so I really feel for you! We chose to have her stay with her local friends. But she’s also a kid who can live in her own head when she’s bored and isn’t likely to act out at school. So it’s very individual to your child’s personality and how much “otherness” you are ok with. The research shows that acceleration (including full grade) is usually very successful and positive. You can read a lot about that online if you look into that path.

Ok that was a lot of rambling! If I can answer something else let me know - the big key is finding people to learn the systems from And of course you can look into lots of ways to accelerate at home to match their interests - a local gifted group would probably be helpful in identifying enrichment classes and events and such as well. But I let my daughter lead on all of that and just do what sparks her interest.

Do you have a Kumon academy place near you? There is one near me and its a reading and math enhancement program. So, you could take your kid after school to do some more learning. That is probably what I would do. Otherwise, the public schools near me have the gifted kid program that you test into around 3rd grade. I was in that. I agree with what someone said above that some private schools might not be equipped for gifted kids. I know there is a private school called Fairmont that may be nationwide and that is definitely a smart kid school. I probably wouldn't split up two sisters and send them to two different schools.

@Chuckles: I don’t know if your curriculum is at all similar but second grade math is known here for being the least challenging! It finally gets a bit better in third here. I was so disappointed in second grade in general … it felt like a catchup bridge between learning basics and moving into older kid learning. Just in case that gives you any hope that it will improve!

I haven't read all the responses and I'm in a bit of a rush but here's my experience in short. Child was in a public school gifted program in a dedicated gifted class. This was a disaster....he ended up still bored. Would get extra worksheets for finishing early. It may be a bit harsh but I felt like it was crushing his spirit and creativity. So we ended up moving to a Montessori/project based learning school. This was amazing! The nature of the school is that each kid is essentially doing their own thing. So he was able to really focus on whatever was most interesting at the moment with guidance of teachers. Even better is that there is no comparison between kids because everyone is working separately. Anyway I highly recommend going this path! (This past year we did unschooling which was amazing in its own way, but obviously requires a parent at home and available). Let me know if you have any more specific questions.

@Mrs. Starfish: I'm in New England and it is huge here, also know a ton of people in California who did it but no idea if it's a thing in other parts of the U.S. Though I think now in the covid era there are probably far more fully virtual options available. When I first heard about it, the name just sounded weird, but I think they do an amazing job with the curriculum.

@Baby Boy Mom: My mom used to have her own small Montessori preschool. We've inherited her materials, and I absolutely love it. Some are falling apart at this point but I'm amazed how well my older son learns from them. If we had a good Montessori elementary nearby, I would be super tempted...

I've appreciated reading all of your experiences and recommendations.

Our schooling experience has been impacted by covid, so it's difficult to know what our local school could offer. But my DS7 was SO unhappy during remote 1st grade this winter (self harm threats, everything was just horrible). We eventually withdrew him entirely. Then when he went back in person this spring, he still resisted and every morning was a battle with school refusal. "I don't want to listen to the normal lessons. I don't care if they give me harder math sheets." He started seeing a therapist that specializes in gifted children. The therapist suggested private school (there are a few in our area that target gifted kids) vs grade acceleration. I wasn't thrilled with either of these options so we talked with our public school again. I definitely contributed to our struggles bc I didn't want to burden the teachers/staff given all of the challenges of covid. But hopefully once the kids are vaccinated this fall, they will do small groups and not enforce social distancing. I'm definitely still nervous about it and have big picture worries frequently.

It feels like such a first world problem to complain about a gifted child, but he can be so exhausting physically, mentally and emotionally. I do appreciate reading experiences of other families via online groups or IG accounts.

To answer one direct question - @Mrs. Starfish: I like the FB group "raising poppies" for advice. Though it's often disconcerting bc most people don't get the support they need from their schools. There seem to be many families that homeschool in that group. I also follow "champion your gifted child" on IG and they have posts that resonate with me sometimes.

One way we connect and stimulate him is definitely via games. Favorites include Settlers of Catan, Qwirkle, Ticket to Ride, Clue, rummikub (or rummy with cards), and lots of card games. Teaching him a few versions of solitaire was also a real win. I allow more screen time if he's playing apps with redeeming value. He's currently obsessed with Wordscapes (sort of like Boggle).

Wishing you and your girls all of the best.