I'm surprised to even be writing this because my first grader, the day schools shut down in March, asked for me to set up "home school" for her because she was so bummed about missing it. For weeks, up until our school system came up with virtual learning (which took over a month to do and had multiple false starts), she was diligently doing worksheets, activities, crafts, reading, etc. that I put together for her. We never pushed it, it was all her doing. However, for the last two weeks, she completely refuses to do the work that her teacher put together for them. She's excited for virtual sessions, which happen for a half hour each day and aren't learning based, and for the one virtual learning session she has on Mondays for 45 minutes, but will not do any of the offline work (they have a couple videos to watch, and an activity related to writing, math and reading each day). She won't tell me why, and insists when I ask her if she wants to keep doing work that she does, but as soon as we go to do something, she completely tunes out and starts asking how much time is left in the "school" block. Their stuff isn't being graded or counted in any way, so I'm pretty much of the "let it go" mindset on the schoolwork, but I know she loves learning and I feel like I'm not doing enough to keep her engaged. Any ideas?
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Maybe just keep going? My 6yo was resistant at first but this week has been great about doing her work. This is our 5th week of assigned work. I am lenient on some things but I’m general I try to get through the packet that’s assigned weekly. We also have a chore chart and she gets a sticker for homework daily and like today she wanted to bake a cake and I said sure after homework and she said let’s do it right now!
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I came thisclose, school is often the worst part of our day and DS is going to need glasses by June with this amount of screen time. But we're not in a position to homeschool either right now. I did snap and write to the teachers last week begging them to give less homework. I'm not sure if it was that, or us finding a groove, but we're finally getting the classwork done before 2 pm. Much better, and I hope it stays that way.
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I should add our course work has been reduced we’re only given work mon-Thur. We only doing math reading science and journaling. We can have it done in under an hour typically. If the work is too much def let them know. Many people said they were spending 3-4+ hours per day on school work and since that survey the administration reduced our work load
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Our ‘school’ consists of his teacher posting links to someone else’s Facebook page of optional activities that are often the same thing repeated with different materials (count with coins! Count with buttons!) along with sporadic videos mimicking their circle time or songs, which my son actually loves. He’s desperate to see his teachers and friends in any capacity. His French teacher sends 5 slides to look at for an entire week. Granted, our kindergarten in Ontario Canada is play based and informal.
So last week I just asked him what he wants to learn about. We read when we can, we spend a ton of time outside and look at videos online of his chosen topic (today was ‘where do turtles and ducks live’) I’m so over it. It’s stressing me out because we still don’t know if school will go back this year or September and it’s annoying the hell out of me that I could go on Facebook and look up links myself. His teacher has 3 kids at home so I get it, I’m more annoyed at the higher ups for thinking this is ok. I think the higher grades have it easier in some regards but not in others.
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@Mrs. Carrot: it sounds like the juxtaposition between the virtual sessions (a little more like reg school) and then the offline work is bumming her out. I wouldn’t sweat it, maybe just keep offering her and she might come around but I think pushing its ill probably just backfire. If it’s work that you pass in to the teacher I would keep her informed. And then maybe just focus on letting her lead via her interests.
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We had a rough start with LO (grade 1) at the beginning. She was pretty resistant. I told her that this is not a great time where everything is normal and there are things we need to do. She sees her dad and I go into the home office or dining table to work. So I told her this was her job for now. Her responsibility is to do the work her teacher assigns, no if ands or buts. Now (4 weeks later), she’s very diligent about doing her work. One caveat though - she only has 60 min work every day. It’s very light. If your school is asking for too much, then it could be that the expectations are too high.
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My son is in pre-school and I haven't attempted any of the materials with him. He's not a "sit down" kind of kid unless at school, and most of the suggestions/materials have been "sit-down."
Also, I'm an 8th grade teacher, and I'm amazed that about 25% of my students are doing the assignments. I've told the parents and students multiple times that they are NOT being graded (district policy, that I agree with/support).
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We still do school work every day, but we don’t do all of it—we are given a TON though. For 1 day (yesterday) her teacher’s plan was 40 minutes of online math in 1 program, 11(!) worksheets, 40 minutes of math in another program, 40 minutes of a language arts project, 1 Zoom meeting, and then her specials teacher post lessons, so she had a lesson for science and for Art.
I mean, obviously that’s too much for 1 day—the 11 worksheets alone would have taken about 2 hours of working straight through and most 6 year olds don’t work without stopping for 2 hours. Anyway, I’m working too, so their work has to fit around my schedule.
I ended up tossing out 4 worksheets that were repetitive, she did 6 1/2, and she did the language arts project, and 40 minutes of Happy Numbers. We didn’t even glance at the science or art lessons—-but I’m missing the gene that makes moms feel guilty about this stuff. To me, we had an extremely productive day. My kids did work, I did work, we all went outside once, we all did indoor exercise once, I made lunch and dinner, we recorded the girls singing for their school’s digital talent show.
We were busy all day long, so I consider days like that s huge parenting win, even if technically DD1 didn’t finish all her school work (it’s optional anyway).
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@Mrs. Carrot: My daughter is just over it. My son's preschool stuff is all optional so we barely do it. It's just not the same setting, and we are both working, so we really just don't have time to make it that way. Whatever.
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Thanks, everyone, appreciate the input. I definitely don't think the work is too much, and it isn't required. I think it's a combo of it not being social enough for her and maybe even a bit of boring (most of the stuff is review and she's a few paces ahead of her class, according to her teacher). Nothing is being graded, so my biggest issue is around responsibility, to some extent, and keeping her learning in others (even if it's learning differently). To the point @grace made, I'm trying to decide whether to push on this to teach a sense of responsibility and that we have to do things even when they're not fun, or let it go because it's a sucky time and frankly I really don't want to fight with her about it. Today I asked her a topic she wants to learn about and created a few prompts around that topic for her that is similar to her school assignments, so we'll see if she does that. But the responsibility I do struggle with.
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We’ve been having a prettying easy go of it but that’s for a few reasons... 1. I’m laid off. 2. My younger ds still goes to his daycare lady so it’s just dd and I 3. Dd loves school and does the work easily
I will say that if I was working I don’t know when or how we’d do the work!! It definitely requires adult help to navigate. It’s basically a morning video then a slide show of reading, writing, math and science everyday with videos and other links to read and watch. There is a folder with the print outs we have to print every week (15-20).
We get through it in about an hour to 90 mins every day BUT it is being counted and I’m having to sit w dd to get through it....
If it were not being counted then I’m not so sure we’d be doing it!! I feel so much for the parents who are all working still bc I don’t see how they’re doing it all!!!!!!
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@Anagram: Damn, that’s a lot. I think a work load like that would make me give up totally, so good on you for figuring out what works.
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We're just muddling through one day at a time. She (1st grader) was hating all online activities amd would only do workbooks and worksheets, now she is more into the online stuff. On Wednesdays I let her be the teacher which gives me a break and let's her have some power. We do a combo of things the teacher provides and things I have at home. It's not perfect, I don't love doing it. Nothing is due back or graded but I'm not telling her that.
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DS1 is in grade one. At first he was eager to do the work. Now that we are nearing the end of week 7 of being at home not so much. Everything is in google classroom and I taught him how to navigate and turn in his assignments. The only part he enjoys is the weekly class zoom meeting.
I’m working full time so I just let him work on it throughout the day and make sure he doesn’t leave too much for Friday which is their catch up day.
He’s been reading a lot and teaching himself the keyboard as well as playing with the toddler, so I try not to stress about the school work.
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We're getting through... it's been a bit challenging and the newness is wearing off so i'm getting more resistance.
We did just enlist my mother-in-law (who was a 2nd grade teacher and had a daycare a loooong time ago)... to do lessons with my 1st grader every day for an hour and a half. We're a week and a half in and it's going SO GREAT. I don't know why we didn't think of it sooner.... Its when my little guy naps, so it's perfect for us to get uninterrupted work time. It also gives my MIL a great sense of purpose and she's planning lessons, etc. and she puts a lot into it.
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We’re doing pretty well. First off DD is a great student. I laud anyone who has a child who dislikes school, struggles with schoolwork, or has special needs.
I think our group of first grade teachers did an excellent job putting together just the right amount of work at just the right level. The first few weeks I didn’t love because it was a little too much busy work which made it harder to organize and I had to supplement, but we got new work recently and it has been so much better—it’s more familiar to DD because it’s more similar to what she does at school. They also provided a ton of optional supplements so now I don’t need to go search for something on my own. But I have no problem being like “yeah, we’re not doing this” if something seems pointless or too difficult.
Each morning I lay everything out, load any tabs that need to be loaded on her chrome book, and write very clear instructions about what she needs to do.
I just started doing block scheduling a la Jordan Page and it has helped a lot. If I’m on a call or just can’t really take a break from work I just say “Check the schedule on the fridge—what should you be doing right now? What didn’t you finish earlier today?” Yesterday was just about a week into the schedule and they did really well with it so I offered a reward (getting take out ice cream). I think it’s really important to talk about and show how proud we are of what they are doing/dealing with.
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There must be a lot of maturing between 4 and 6 from what seems like your first graders are doing???? My son (4.5 end of May) will sit for maybe 10 minutes of a zoom class, write his name once, and listen to one prerecorded song or story per day. And even for that I’m pushing him!
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@wrkbrk: There is a ton of maturing between 4.5 and 6, but fwiw, it also sounds like some of these first graders have higher than average executive functioning skills. My four year old DD is a kid like that. But my first grader, while several grades ahead in a couple areas, has lower than average executive functioning skills and couldn't manage that much independent work even with a written schedule. He is managing several hours of school work a day, but with some serious scaffolding set up by me and with a LOT of consistent prompting and redirecting back to task.
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@MrsSRS: my 1st grader does absolutely nothing independently whatsoever when it comes to this distance learning stuff.
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I haven’t contributed to this thread yet because we have an unusual situation where my 1st grader has a full school day of zoom every day. So live instruction for 6.5 hours with 10-20 minute breaks between each class. Since it’s all live I just have to print her worksheets at the beginning of the week, organize them into class binders, and then the teachers keep up with what she should be doing and when. We have opted out of homework on top of that though and at least once a week we miss a class or a couple classes due to what I will call emotional distress.
BUT I just popped in here to say I just pulled out my calendar and we are over half way done with online learning!! We’ve been out since mid March so we’ve had 6 weeks of online learning plus 1 week of spring break and we only have 4 weeks left! This was such an exciting realization for me this morning!
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@wrkbrk: My 6 year old first grader is much more mature than my 4 year old, especially in his ability to work independently, but he is not working as independently as many of the kids in these threads. I am not sure of the details because my husband, a SAHD, handles school, but there is generally 2-3 hours of work a day. My 6 year old needs significant help with at least half of that. My 1 year old takes an 1.5 hour morning nap, which is when the bulk of the real learning, for example anything involving writing, happens. Some of the computer learning is more game like and he can do that part independently. He can also read somewhat independently, but needs lots of reminders to keep reading (he is not an advanced reader and gets frustrated easily).
The 4 year old does very little remote learning, other than listening to lots of books. We also work on letter recognition and he likes to draw.
My 6 year old can, for example, to a zoom karate class independently. He can also play with legos pretty independently for a long time.
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@wrkbrk: My younger DD just turned 4. She would never sit for a Zoom or anything like that and mostly refuses to do worksheets. She just wants to play or color (or watch a show) all day. She is getting very little formal learning in. I also don’t really know what to do school wise with a 4 year old. I have a lot of guilt about this.
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@DillonLion: My almost 7 year old first grader won't work independently either, which I think has been the biggest challenge in keeping her engaged. She loves the short Zoom sessions she has with her class, but really resists the self guided work.
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My first grader also doesn’t do a lick of his work independently. I usually spend 2 hours on his schooling (with breaks) and don’t complete everything assigned. Some days are better than other. We still have 7 more weeks of this (unless the district plans to close a bit early🤞)
I teach middle school and this is just so so so hard. I have some students thriving and others not doing any work at all. I think the parents are super overwhelmed.
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@DillonLion: @Mrs. Carrot: 7yo first grader here who also does very little (if nothing) independently. I'm in our bedroom/my office for now while DH handles this and our (almost) 1.5 yo. as a SAHD. I can tell when it's going well and when it's a struggle... it's been a lot of struggle.
We basically shoot to complete 1 'assignment' per day at a minimum. Some days are great, others just totally suck (I made a post about it being rough not long ago). She is no where near as independent/mature as @Becky: describes with the schedule/instructions/etc.
We have a harder time with activities where she's given too much free reign. She gets overwhelmed trying to figure out what/how she wants to do something and then almost always changes her mind half-way through so the simple assignment takes all day. It's great that the teachers are giving the same flexibility they would give in class to reach all the learning styles of the kids, and that helps families do what works for them too, but it's that first decision-making part where she gets stuck. Or, her ideas about what she will do vastly outsize her abilities and she gets routinely disappointed in what she's doing because it doesn't live up to what's in her head. Without the other kids work for her to see "hey, mine is like everyone else's" she often gets frustrated and melts down.
So yeah, we haven't given up. Mostly because we do want to maintain that sense of responsibility and also because we can't imagine going the rest of the school year and all summer without structure. But we don't push to complete all the assignments each day (which is already not required) and have to give a lot of flexibility and guidance in order to get what little we can done.
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@lindseykaye: I hear all that too. I'm trying really hard not to give up because my kid really loves learning but what I figured out today, after yet another meltdown, is that she just won't do it unless someone engages with her on it in a fun way. Which my husband is just not able to do, he's too much of a linear thinker, so literally every day it's been him trying to get her to do whatever assignment and her not wanting to and him not knowing how to make it more interesting and thus her losing it a few minutes afterwards. Which means that I need to step in and work with her if she's going to do anything school related, which means adjusting my work schedule even more. Le sigh...
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@Mrs. Carrot: Man, that's so hard. There's a reason people who are not teachers have not become teachers usually!
DH is better about this than I am most of the time so for that I am grateful. But we do end up tag-teaming if he's reached his limit or I can hear it becoming a total wreck. I went to get some water just now and apparently for every (single) step she completes of the assignment she's working on he will do a silly dance. So, that's something! Even if there's also a part of me that cringes on the level of bribery/interaction required (JUST DO THE WORKSHEET COME ON).
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@lindseykaye: and @mrs. carrot: Yes to the 1st grader needing so much interaction to get anything done. @lindseykaye: my son sounds a lot like your DD. He has a lot of trouble with writing activities because he has this huge idea of what he wants to do but can't get it on paper. He's always been a dawdler and daydreamer, but it's on another level now. He sat with a simple math worksheet this morning for like 30 minutes and had written like 3 numbers. And then he's complaining that his work is taking him forever. When he gets a burst of focus, he can get done quickly, but when easy worksheets take forever, it drives me crazy.
We have slowly been reducing the amount of structured learning that goes on each day over the last couple of weeks. -
Officially failing at 'school'. DS's preschool teacher has been great about sending stuff and I have been sooo not great about getting any of it done. There are not enough hours in the day, DH and I both work, and I can't expect our 17 year old to do it with him. DD is even worse off at 3 because she needs speech therapy and I can't even get that done.
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I’m declaring tomorrow “last day of school” but I just have a 4K!
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@Chuckles: This is my kid to a T. She does really well at school while in school when she can interact with others and move around task to task, but as much as we simulate that at home, it just doesn't work unless I turn things into games or some kind of interactive activity. Which my husband just doesn't know how to do so he badgers her to stay on task and she just can't and she gets frustrated and he gets mad and then they're pissed at each other all day and I'm either doing "I'll just do it myself" or playing referee/settling their disagreements.
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