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Both times I had already started my period before/on the day of my beta, so I knew both times. I got the call in the afternoon (maybe around 3:00?) for blood work that I got at 8:00 in the morning both times. I always wonder if they call all the patients with happy news first, but I've never had happy news, so I don't know.

I know you say you don't want to test beforehand, but if you hadn't said that, I would have suggested testing on the morning of your beta (with a FRER). That way, there's no worry about false negatives/positives, and you can find out at home with your partner, and not via phone call at work. You know yourself best, though! Good luck

@Shutterbug: Ugh, when they say your name and they say "I'm sorry".

@mopeybuthopey: two fresh cycles. We have had 35 eggs retrieved total, and 16 embryos, but none made it to freeze. I'm the exception though - most people are successful the first time, or in two tries!
I was surprised by the early AF as well. Although I do have a short LP naturally, with my IUI cycles I didn't get AF until after my beta. I'm starting up with a new RE in a few months and at my consultation with him he said that I wouldn't have bled early if there was something trying to implant (in other words, it wasn't the reason the cycle failed).

I honestly can't remember with my fresh IVF, but I just knew that one didn't work and yes, it sucked to talk to the nurse about it. For my FET, I did test at home the day before my beta and got a positive, so I knew before I went in for the blood work although I was also still anxious to hear the actual number. Until your post I hadn't thought about what I want to do this time… I'll probably test again at home beforehand (I'm doing another FET in a few weeks).

I tested my trigger out and kept testing until I got a . This was better for me because I already knew before the doctor or nurse called. I didn't want to find out bad news blindly in the middle of a class at school.

I always tested beforehand so I knew what they were going to say. If you're considering letting the nurses call go to voicemail, just confirm that they will actually leave the results in a message, and won't just ask you to call back. This happened to me once, and I couldn't get them back on the phone, and I was super stressed!

@ShootingStar: I was disappointed by negatives with trying on our own and IUI but I would have been devastated going through IVF and getting a negative. It's a whole different ball game.

@swedishfish: I can understand that, it's a whole different level than what I was doing (TI + meds). I was also always expecting negatives and I couldn't believe it the day I got my . But of course it's way different when you've had a fertilized egg placed in you. At that point I'm sure the expectation is much more that it's positive.

But I also would have driven myself crazy if I didn't know. I was testing multiple times a day sometimes as it was. DH tried to convince me not to test as many days as I did, but I always had the uncertainty in the back of my mind driving me crazy.

I definitely tested before beta. I wanted to know either way and be prepared.

@mopeybuthopey: I had a feeling that my first IVF failed, and I had the nurse call my husband and leave a voicemail, which we listened to together. For my FET, which was successful, I tested early.

I've done it both ways. One bfp no early testing and I have my son. One chemical pregnancy no early testing. And another chemical with positive sticks up to the hcg test.

Having done that I will never not test again.

The first IVF and FET, I tested beforehand. I had felt so sure that it worked and was constantly disappointed at home when I got the bfn and I'd be in a foul mood for days. Then the nurse would call with the results and I'd get my hopes up for that 1 in a million chance that it was positive.
So I vowed not to test at home again. For FET #2, I focused on other things like trying to eat healthy, enjoy time with friends... And had almost forgotten about the fact that we had transferred embryos. Few days before, I felt a few weird twinge (implantation?) but put it out of my mind... The nurse called the day of the test and I wanted to let it go to voice mail bc I didn't want to deal with talking to her for bad news. The msg she left wasn't the results.. The msg was that she would call back. So naturally I was freaked out for the next few hours. She finally called back and gave me the bfp news.

I didn't do IVF, but I did do IUI to get pregnant. On our third cycle it worked & the craziest thing for me was that my typical hormonal period acne wasn't flaring up. And I had NO symptoms. None. No sore boobs. No twinges of pain. Nothing. I peed on a stick and saw my first two lines ever and couldn't believe it. I had given up hope and thought all sticks were broken. I went in for my beta and it was low at first. So I didn't really fully celebrate for a while - 4 betas later, I was cautiously optimistic that I was finally pregnant.

I always let the calls go to voicemail. I just had to be in the right frame of mind to listen to the news. And it was all about being in control for me. I chose when I listened to the news. I hated how out of my control the whole infertility journey felt. So I took the moments of control that I could get.

I wish you the best of luck on your cycle and hope you get a great phone call, or two beautiful lines, or whatever way you choose to find out.

I decided to test first because I didn't want RE's nurse to be the one breaking it to me. It did make it a little easier for me to hear that I wasn't pregnant. I was fortunate that I was on vacation last week so I could answer the call at home. I don't know what I am going to do for my 2nd cycle since I am sure I won't be fortunate enough to be off of work next time. I might let the call go to voice mail. I am going to continue to test though. It helps soften the blow for me.

Best of luck to you! I hope it works for you on the first try!

The first cycle, I did not test ahead of time. Beta was my 35th birthday, and DH and I wandered Central Park for hours waiting for the call. We were devastated when we got the disappointing news, but I think it was so much worse because we were just agonizing waiting and eventually took the call on the street. The next two cycles, I POAS'd first and felt much better I knew what was coming.