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I delivered with a midwife in a hospital. From what I understand from friends of mine, the biggest difference is that my midwife was with me the whole time I was in labor (along with the nurses). She was willing to just go with what was happening my labor. She was a calming presence to me and my husband. Friends who delivered with an OB generally relied on the nurses more until it was time to push.

I delivered with a midwife, at a hospital, here in the UK.

Honestly, midwives are more laid back. They encourage relaxed, stress free pregnancies. Plus, my midwife sat with me the entire time I was in labor and gave me her undivided attention, rather than us having to track her down and such. It was much more personalized care.

It was wonderful and I'd absolutely recommend it.

Can you show him The Business of Being Born doc? It used to be streaming on Netflix.

I LOVE my midwife! I delivered with a midwife in a hospital and had a great experience. Throughout my pregnancy, I was always informed and felt like a partner in my care. My practice works with an OB office and is very low intervention. I had GD and was never pressured to induce or told I may have a large baby. I really noticed the difference when I had to visit MFM and the OB pressured me to have genetic testing done to rule out Downs and other Genetic disorders.

For books, I recommend reading Birth Matters by Ina May Gaskin.

I delivered in a hospital with a midwife practice. I saw midwives throughout my pregnancy, which was uncomplicated. The midwife was with me throughout the relatively short time I was in the hospital (4 hours from arrival to birth), as well as an amazing nurse. When baby's heart rate wasn't responding well to the contractions, they called in an OB, who ended up using a vacuum to assist on the last push, as they didn't like the heart rate issues and wanted her out fast. Once she came out screaming (obviously no issues with oxygen) they went back to the more natural approach and I got my skin to skin, etc, before she was cleaned or weighed.

So, there is an example of a midwife birth where there were some minor complications and the OB came in at the end. I guess technically it was an OB delivery but she was only there for half an hour.

I will absolutely go with a midwife again. They were so supportive, offering different pain management techniques, never brought up epidurals (at my request) and when I asked for one, they checked me and confirmed I was in transition so encouraged me to keep going without-- again, since they knew that was what I wanted, not that they were forcing it on me.

I wouldn't personally be comfortable at a free standing birth center, as I wanted the security of a hospital, with the more natural, hands off approach of a midwife, so the midwife practice in a hospital was perfect for me.

@PawPrints: that's what I was going to say. All the technology is there and if a concern arises there are OBs there that can swoop in and help.

@Dandelion: Yeah exactly. When I first explained the concept of a midwife to my DH, I think I said something like "A midwife's whole job is to focus on people having routine births, whereas a doctor's top priority is always going to be anybody in any kind of medical emergency or complex situation." I think that helped him get the idea that the midwife would spend a lot more time helping a laboring mom through the routine part of birth (which of course feels anything but routine to a first-time mom.)

(I may have added something like "For the midwife, I am the most interesting part of her day.")

Also, here is http://20birthtips.blogspot.com from an L&D nurse in Seattle. Obviously, the posts are her opinion, but tip #14 and #20 are applicable because they lay out the differences (and benefits!)

Try searching the midwifery model of care to build a case. I had a homebirth which I am planning to do again in April. I know that's not the route you are looking to go but I could sing praises about the way my midwives cared for us all day :-).

I delivered via midwife in a hospital!

I had an uncomplicated birth with an epidrual, but I pushed for three hours because of the baby's position in my pelvis. After 2.5 hrs, the overseeing OB (that's something for your DH to note - there will most likely be an OB on the floor or that she is checking in with) wanted to do a vacuum delivery. She convinced him to let me push for thirty more minutes. Granted, I was yelling "suck it out" (epidural had long worn off at this point!) but she kept reminding me natural was better. I'm very thankful for that, because if it hadn't have worked, I would have had a c-section. Later she mentioned that it had been a diffent overseeing OB, I would have had a c section much earlier, even though there was no medical need.

Of course, that is all anecdotal. But you should look into c section rates for a midwife vs. OB. Granted, they are somewhat skewed because midwives don't generally take high risk pregnancies.

Here is why I went with my midwife:

I had been seeing another OB in the same practice. He was very busy and flippant and had long waits due to his popularity.

My midwife didn't rotate call with the other OBs, so if I went into labor, she would be the one there, not whomever was on call.

Lower c section rates.

She was in a larger practice, so if my pregnancy was complicated I could just switch to another OB.

She had pushed a baby out herself.

Most of labor the nurses take care of. The attending really just catches in a normal delivery. I didn't feel like I required much more.

I watched Call the Midwife on PBS. (JK...sort of)

I have a great story of midwife ob collaboration!

I had a hospital based midwife through my uneventful pregnancy. At 41 weeks my fluid was too low, and I needed an induction. My midwives managed my induction for the first 24 hours, and then called a surgeon to consult when I wasn't progressing. He said a csection was an option, but that we had other interventions to try first to hopefully preserve a vaginal birth. He actively discouraged me from choosing a section. My midwives worked with the ob to do additional things, and I delivered my daughter vaginally 24 hours later.

Her birth was traumatic, though, and she was born distressed. The neonatal code team was waiting outside my door, they worked on her, and she spent a week in the nicu. Then she went home perfectly healthy and has remained so.

My birth was basically the model of ob, midwife collaboration. I got many aspects of a med free birth, and my daughter got all the medical care she needed. You too can have this! This is one of the best things about hospital based midwives, IMHO.

I had a MW hospital birth. My practice is OB and MW, so I could have switched to an OB the second I needed one. All of the L&D rooms and nursing staff are shared, so it would have been a non-issue. My primary reason for seeing a MW was that I wanted a low-intervention, med-free, vaginal birth. My area has a ridiculously high c section rate, so going with a MW was key. I ended up getting what I wanted, under circumstances that would have required a c section with an OB.

When I made my decision, I was really focused on the birth experience. Being with a MW ended up being really important for my birth, but what left the most lasting impression on me was how different my prenatal care was with a MW. A MW treats pregnancy and childbirth as something completely natural and beautiful that your body was built for. With doctors, that isn't always the case. I wanted a care provider who wouldn't treat pregnancy like an illness.

All due respect to your husband, but I find his argument insulting. MWs who deliver in hospitals are highly trained nurses with masters degrees and specialized experience in their field. Their years and hours of training isn't that different than an OB. It's not like you are calling some old lady who has seen a few births to come deliver your baby.

An important note: my husband was NOT on board with a natural birth. He just didn't get why I wanted to do it "the hard way." It took him quite a while to get on board - for him, it was understanding the importance of being able to move around during labor and how I likely wouldn't be able to with an epidural.

Just another point of view here; midwife delivery is actually the norm in New Zealand and you are only likely to see an OB if there are high risk factors. We have a much lower rate of medical interventions than the US. Even if you are delivering in a hospital, you will only see a OB if you are having an intervention (ventouse, forceps, c-section) or if you already fell into a high-risk category. To see an OB privately (without referral) is very expensive and therefore rare in our socialized health system.

I guess I am lucky. I told my husband I am birthing with midwives at a birthing center and that was that. My body, my choices. But it also helped him feel better to take a tour of the place and meet the midwife. Also we watched business of being born and I often show him birthing videos or stories online. Good luck!

I switched from an OB to midwives. While my OB was great, he had a ton of patients and our appointments were short. With my midwives they really focused on me as a whole person, not just a woman carrying a baby. They cared about my all-around well-being and my appointments lasted a lot longer because they took the time.

I ended up delivering at the hospital with a C-section so ultimately LO was delivered by an OB, but I met this OB 15 minutes before the surgery. My midwife was there at the hospital (she has privileges there) and I was her patient. So, she took care of me the whole way and was also in the room during my c-section.

Midwives are trained medical professionals. And if you'll be delivering in a hospital anyway, I don't see why he wouldn't be okay with a midwife. Is he going with you to every single appointment? I understand he has a say in this, but seems like there's no valid argument on his part against a midwife, especially if you'll be at a hospital and there will be an OB on call should you end up having complications and needing a C-section.

Another midwife story here. I live in Austria and it is very common to have a midwife throughout pregnancy and for the birth. I actually chose not to have a midwife, but an OB throughout my pregnancy. However, when the big day arrived, it was the hospital midwife, who I had never met before, who was there for my labor and delivered my baby. My labor progressed so fast and furiously that my OB didn't make it to the hospital in time! I was only in labor for 45 minutes and had a med-free birth (which was not the plan!). The midwife was completely amazing and calm and really encouraging throughout the whole birth experience.

I delivered with a midwife in a hospital and loved it. I felt really supported, she was in the room a lot and very encouraging. After LD was born I wouldn't stop bleeding and she handled it. I think an OB came in (too many people to tell and I was on the brink of passing out) but she coordinated what all the nurses needed to be doing and stopped the bleeding. I like that there was less interventions yet since she was working alongside ob's I felt completely safe the entire time. Maybe having your husband talk with the midwife at an appointment (when the time comes) would be helpful, I think he would find it reassuring to see just how knowledgeable and awesome they are.

@Mrs. Confetti: what's the "whole thing" that he's closed off to? The title of Midwife vs OB? My midwife (who was part of an OB practice & delivered at a hospital) was a CNM, Certified Nurse Midwife. These women have training, experience, & can offer many things an OB may not (more time, attention, natural-leaning practices).

Since it doesn't seem like your husband has "real" reasons to not have a midwife, I don't see why you should have to convince him. HE should convince you.

For what it's worth, I was induced at a hospital with my midwife. She stayed with me through 4 hours of pushing & never once suggested that something was wrong. She had a doctor come to make sure the baby hadn't become turned around & another to do a vaccuum extraction at the very end. I loved my experience with her and told my husband we can't move out of town until we have our 2nd child with her.