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@Clementine: oh no!!! Is anything else affecting him that might be the cause?
That sounds so heartbreaking

@Amandaly: the same thing happened to me and we sleep trained DS only a week after @Clementine did. But once his sleep was established and on a better routine - he got better. In fact I think he's even HAPPIER because his sleep is so much better! He laughs, smiles and giggles all the time. He is such a joy to be with. And he's growing more and more independent.

Good luck!! It's hard but for us, it was worth it.

@coco bee: that was so good to hear...We've always rocked him to sleep or stood by the bed while he played with our hand until he fell asleep. We aren't the best at being consistent (we are both softies) so we have done some extinction and some controlled crying. This is the 4th night. I've only had the courage to do it at one nap. How do you do it for nap times? I'm so afraid he will just cry the whole hour of nap time and then just boycott his nap. How old was your baby then? I ended up rocking him for both naps today and he got much happier by bedtime, but then I put him down awake at bedtime again...So, I do know that nurturing him and rocking him brings out his precious personality and I don't want to lose that through this training. Thank you both!

@clementine, why have you decided not to do CIO and what are you thinking of doing?

@coco bee: I so appreciate your reply and your advice!! I love the idea of following your gut instead of rules. Did you notice his naps getting messed up when you working on the nighttime? It seems he doesn't want to fall asleep for naps and stay asleep when i put him in the crib, as it's like he's afraid of the crib now and of me leaving him like I have to do at night.

I agree with Mr. Bee. After the first day of doing CIO, she wasn't as happy and smiley as usual and i was sooo sad and worried that i made her that way. But after the second day she was back to her usual self, and it could be because she got much more sleep compared to the previous night.

I think parents tend to project emotions/feelings that aren't there, especially at this age. My ped thinks (of course it's just his opinion) that sleep training affects babies more when they're older and more aware of things.

Hang in there!

@cherry: Does your ped think that 10 months is older as he is pretty aware and alert? We are on day 5 and he does seem a little better, however, he's more clingy during they day with me and seems to having separation anxiety when he never used to. I just wish there was another way to get him to sleep better without leaving him alone ultimately to finally fall asleep.
His sleep was not really "that" bad, but he had recently started waking at 4 AM habitually and it was taking one or two hours to get him back to sleep. Other than that I didn't mind tending to him in the night hours. Also, we put him to sleep at an early hour (6 PM) as I had read a book that this was best and because no matter what we could not him to sleep past the 5 AM hour...I notice that he will wake up around 5 AM and try until 6 AM to go back to sleep. Sometimes he will sleep for 20 minutes it seem during that time...But, I know he needs more sleep as like last night, we had to let him cry for 40 minutes combined.. Anyway..thanks for everyone's encouragement and advice.

@Clementine: It's really ok not to sleep train if it's not working for your little guy. It makes me sad to hear about how impacted he is by it!

She slept in our room for a long while and she was happy with that arrangement. We got her to fall asleep though in her own room and then I'd end up going in and sleeping next to her the 2nd half of the night, which worked out just fine because my husband woke up for awhile at 4 am anyways. Now though that he doesn't wake up that early he's been on night duty since LO because too reliant and waking up to check to make sure I was still there, she still wakes up at night but not as often and goes back to bed quickly. When we've let her cry it just goes on and on and on and then we can't get her to go to sleep except with ALOT of effort for like a week.