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My LO was a super difficult newborn as well. First up, I would ask your LC to do a weighted feed to see how much she's getting.

Her up-times also look pretty long for that age. For the first four months mine could only be awake for 45 mins to an hour at a time, so all I really had time for was a diaper change, a feed and a little bit of play time before she needed to go down. She took a lot of work to get down for naps but it helped somewhat with the crankiness.

Can you pump and bottle feed her to see how much she needs to consume to be satisfied, and how long that would take through a bottle? Maybe when you breastfeed you release milk more slowly than a bottle does which would contribute to long, unsatisfying feeds. Just a thought.

@Mae: That sounds really hard. I found this site really helpful during my LOs scream-all-day phase - http://purplecrying.info/

It will definitely get better, but its so exhausting to have a baby who's unhappy all the time. *hugs*

She is hungry, I would say. Babies eat every 1-3 hours. I never could have gone 2 hours or more- she would have freaked out.

So, if I fed her at 10am it would take an hour and then she would sometimes want to eat again at 11am. 11:30 if I was lucky.

If there is any doubt she was hungry I would feed her. What I mean to say is, I fed her constantly. (Anytime she wanted, even if she wasn't hungry.) I couldn't even shower in that time so eventually I started pumping after nursing so I could shower, walk the dog, etc. and dh would give her the bottle.

Newborn days are rough and it helped me to read somewhere, "just remember you will never again be a first time mom with a newborn." It helped me because I was all, "phew!"

@Mae: hmm. Kelly mom says bf babies should Be gaining 5-7 oz a week at that age. Lots of babies are gassy and some are very fussy but if she's constantly rooting and she's only gained 1 oz in 2 weeks then I feel like all signs are pointing to hunger. Your LO may also have discomfort from something you are eating so Eliminating dairy might help with the gas part.

I cant remember if you already said...was she evaluated for a tongue or lip tie?

I would stop worrying about the clock and just offer to nurse her whenever she seems upset - especially if she's rooting. And if she's asleep, I wouldn't wake her up (unless she's just sleeping all the time).

I would also make sure that she's transferring milk effectively (it sounds like you're going to a LC) and investigate other possible problems (reflux, sensitivities, gas, etc.)

But honestly, it was months before my LO had a predictable length of time he would be satisfied after nursing. He was probably six months old before he settled into nursing every two to three hours. As a newborn, he pretty much wanted to nurse all the time. I kept track one day when he was seven weeks old, and he nursed 13 times - sometimes for as long as an hour.

Good luck!

@Mae: =( I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. You are doing a great job and being an amazing mommy trying to trouble shoot all of this.

Are you totally opposed to formula or donor milk just to give your nipples a break and see how she reacts (like, does a full stomach make her cry less or does she cry in spite of it). You could buy some ready-to-feed Alimentum (good for babies with slight dairy sensitivity).

And in the meantime, I would definitely give the dairy elimination diet a try. You have to do it 100% for it to make a difference and you may not see a difference for a few days.

Don't think of 1 or 2 bottles of formula as giving up or throwing in the towel. If it helps you have a happy and successful long-term bfing relationship, then it can be a good thing. Not that I'm pressuring you to give formula.

Did you see the LC and have her do a weighted feed, evaluate the latch? I just feel like--in conjunction with the very small weight gain--the fussiness and wanting to feed constantly is because she's hungry. Which might be a latch issue...and these things tend to get worse over time, because if she isn't effectively drawing out the milk, your body is being signaled to make less and this is the period that you want it to make more.

I don't want to overwhelm you with information.....are you still pumping after every feed and feeding it back to her?

@Mae: I know. I've been there!! I dreaded every latch but it slowly got better. Hang in there mama! It won't hurt forever!

@Mae: I nursed one side at a time. Now at eight months I offer both sides.

I'm sorry you are having issues. At that age, I threw a boob at her constantly. Some days we would stay on the couch all day and my shirt would be unhooked for hours. I also did not wake to feed, but my LO surpassed her birth weight by day 5. The initial latch hurt like a mofo at first, but it gradually got better.

Hugs!

@Mae: Madeline only ever took one side.

For what it's worth, I've never woken any of my 3 breastfed kids up to nurse. I think if they were hungry their belly would wake them up. I do however wake LO up if he falls asleep at one breast to switch to the other because I want to make sure he gets a good meal and won't wake up hungry in a half an hour.

@Mae: yes boob constantly. J ate every 60-90 minutes until 12-13 weeks. It sucked and I thought for sure something was wrong but it wasn't he was just hungry and I was where you were at it hurt soo bad surely something was wrong but no. Everyone swore it had to be silent reflux and ped said it wasn't If he fell asleep I did not offer the other side. So hugs I've been there it will get better

@Mae: don't wake a sleeping baby! She might just be overtired... She will wake if she is too hungry (and a late meal here or there won't hurt her in the long run). Also my newborn nursed all the time, it does get easier, so hang in there. I fed on demand, so my boobs were out once an hour it seemed, was often the only way to keep her from crying.

I'd definitely ask the LC to have a really good check for lip and tongue tie, it just seems a little off that your LO isn't gaining more weight even with such long feeds. The possible ties could also explain the upset tummy and gas, does your LO make clicking noises while feeding?

Nursing a newborn is draining. Long nursing sessions and not much time in between. You've gotten lots of good advice. I've always offered both sides just to make sure he is full. Also, I would try not waking her to feed, she will wake up when she is ready, just don't let her go too many hours. Maybe with some longer naps in the day she will do better. It is worth a try anyway.

Hugs and I hope it gets better.

I think it's great that you're seeing a LC Monday. I hope she can help you figure out what is going on. I am no expert but it does seem that the slow gain is a concern. With both boys our doctors expected at least half to one ounce weight gain a day. So maybe it's a supply issue or as many others have mentioned, a tongue tie? Our older DS is a very slow gainer but it started when he was a bit older and was too interested in the world to eat (and still.is) so I know how frustrating dealing with this can be. I am thinking of you!
As far as how often my little guy eats, I feel like I'm feeding him all the time. I will offer the breast whenever he is awake and fussy. I know he is not always hungry and is just using it to fall asleep. If he falls asleep while nursing I hold him upright to burp and avoid the spit up and sometimes he wakes, sometimes not. I won't wake him to offer the other side. Unlike most other people I will encourage him to.wake up during the day if he's been sleeping a while and it's been 2+ hours since the start of his last feed. I find this helps us get a longer stretch at night.
And I wouldn't worry about the ILs at this point as long as you've explained you're struggling with the bf and you're not disappearing because you hate them. In time you will figure out the nursing cover. Maybe practice in private before trying it in a crowd? We got to a point that people would ask what happened to DS when using it but I thought it was this impossible contraption at first.