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I'm not at all qualified to give you advice, but I'll you some of my own experiences.

My husband and I had one month of NTNP, which meant (to me) that we stopped using prevention methods, but I wasn't charting or temping and to be honest, didn't even use an online calculator to figure out when I might be ovulating. I don't have exact 28 day cycles, so I honestly had no idea when I might be ovulating.

But because of hurricane Sandy, my husband and I both couldn't go to work for 5 week days, so we were basically in the house together for 9 days total (2 weekends and the week between), without a lot to do, and we did it pretty much every day, once twice a day.

And we got pregnant. So, although we weren't "trying", we obviously gave ourselves a lot of opportunity for it to happen.

-I had a friend who tried for a year to get pregnant, and didn't...through periods of NTNP, charting and temping, and back to NTNP. They finally went to a fertility specialist and found out there was an issue that (thankfully) could be helped with various methods, and a year after that, they conceived. So if there's an issue, all the NTNP in the world isn't going to work.

-one of my other best friends was "trying" for over a year to conceive and didn't. She and her husband went to a doctor and they found nothing medically wrong. A year or so later (after 8 years of marriage) she got a divorce. One of the reasons (among many) was that her husband had a v. low sex drive and she would have to cajole him into having sex mayyyybe twice a month if she was lucky. She didn't share that with us until she was divorced. That was the "real reason" they didn't conceive. She got remarried 3 years later and got pregnant within 6 months.

So....it's different for everyone and there are different reasons behind how long everyone takes, and people aren't always comfortable sharing what's going on in their sex lives so it's hard for the rest of us to get "tips", you know?

In any case....Good luck. There are many paths to having a baby, and hopefully, one of them will work out for you! =) In the meantime, keep working on having fun with your husband. Enjoy the time you have to just have sex without interruption!

To me, the line between trying and not trying was that when we "weren't trying," I wasn't charting or temping or paying attention to cervical mucous or trying to time sex at a particular time of the month. I wasn't freaking out if we didn't do it at week 2 in my cycle, etc. I think it's hard not to mentally wish for it, but you can take some of the pressure off by taking away the other stuff.

I had posted almost the same exact question about a month ago. after trying i wanted to try something different, but it's hard to go from actively TTC to NTNP - it was basically impossible for me. I had known too much, it was too hard for me to turn my brain off - and my personality is such that it was too difficult for me to pretend to not care when i wanted it so, so badly. I failed pretty badly at NTNP this cycle - it's been actually more stressful for me to try to not try if that makes sense. and my cycle has gone completely wacko. so for me, NTNP didn't work - it didn't reduce any stress, because i simply don't know how to stop! I hope that you can achieve what you are trying to achieve but beware, it might be more stressful to try to not care and not try haha

We pulled the goalie and started out NTNP, but after a few months, I got really high strung with the temping and charting. Finally, about 10 months later, my husband had to travel for work for a bit, and I relaxed some because I assumed we wouldn't be able to be together at the "right times". Around then, we got a puppy (which was a crazy distraction and probably relaxed me a bit), and then we had some increased intimate time after the travel-related time apart, and voila - BFP.

So I'd say...don't let it run your life, make sure you make time or the things that made you happy before you became so focused on baby baby baby, and maybe the happy hormones will help! Good luck!!

@jocole: I think we successfully went back to NTNP this month. Like you, we're up to a year of trying and I'm so sick of "trying". I'm tired of the waiting, tired of fussing, tired of stressing. For me, I think the key was that we were ok if we "missed the egg". In past months, I'd be very aware of doing everything "right" around O time (be on the bottom, lay down for 20 minutes, scheduling sex, etc.). It's not that I didn't know when I was going to ovulate this time (like other's have said, you can't unlearn your body's clues), I just didn't worry about having sex at a specific time in a specific way. It was much more a psychological mindset than anything else.

Oh, and I did keep charting because my cycles can be wonky and I stress out less if I know where I am in my cycle. But I skipped days when I wanted to sleep in etc. And thank goodness I did keep it up because I ended up having a freak 44 day cycle.

For me, this meant, not waking up every morning and be like "must.pee.for.o.p.k", then sit there and wait to see if it was positive or not. Then when we BD, I quit tensing up and commanding myself, "butt up/elevated, clench cheeks to prevent ooze, etc". And I quit stressing about if there's a baby in there and symptom spotting like crazy. Every time I felt myself stressing or tensing up, I'd tell myself to relax and just breathe. While the thought never fully goes away, not stressing 24/7 really did help!

It's the attitude, not what you do, I think. We were using FAM to prevent pregnancy, and decided to NTNP. We were in no rush and were just ok with getting pregnant sometime, eventually, in the next couple of years. We conceived the first month. I had kept taking my temps more bc my cycle length varies and it was awesome knowing when my period would start... so I knew I was ovulating the day we conceived, but we didn't go out of our way to have sex either. Baby-making wasn't the goal, it just would've been a happy bonus. So you can still chart while NTNP, you just have to approach it with a relaxed attitude.

@jocole: I've started to stay away from HB and Baby Center recently, since we've gone back to NTNP. I feel like it just sort of bums me out but also makes me feel a bit more stressed (like you were describing). Staying away from these sites helps me to keep my mind off of baby making.