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To me, it's your call. I would never in a million years want my MIL in the room with me and we ultimately decided that it was just going to be the two of us and we didn't even allow people to come visit until about 6 hours after our son was born. It was a great bonding experience and since my total amount of time in the hospital before I ended up with an emergency c-section was well over 24 hours I'm really glad no one else was there.

I think that it should always be the moms choice who she wants in there... You will be the one doing the work and its your body. I would just explain to DH how you feel and hopefully he respects that. I also think that your MIL will understand if you don't want an audience... since shes a woman and has been through the process.

Honestly, it's your body and your birth plan. If this were me, I would let my husband know that I changed my mind and may not want anyone in the labor room except him. As your husband, he should be willing to go with what you decide, even if it means you changed your mind and you might hurt his mom's feelings. I think it's completely normal for you to feel this way. Maybe bring it up at dinner one night, during normal conversation. That way, it will be just another chat and you won't feel like you are sitting down to have a huge discussion over it.

Think of this, though, if you ask your MIL not to come into that labor room, I bet as soon as you put that sweet little baby in her arms, she'll forget all about not being invited in.

I would tell him how you feel, but in a nice way Just say that you really love his mom, but don't feel comfortable with having her in the delivery room when you don't know how you will be handling or reacting to labor, and with your parts on display! Tell him that while you are labor, you may change your mind and want her there, but for now you would like to plan on just the 3 of you (you, DH, and your mom).

You just need to be nice and firm, like Mrs Yoyo said. It is your decision, and you need to feel comfortable while you are in labor. Good luck!

I think what you said is perfect, and I'm sure your husband and mil will understand. I didn't even let my mom in.

If he wants his mom there, he can birth the baby.

To be fair I said that neither mom was in the room. They did come in for a bit to say hi while things were calm but weren't in there for any of the delivery portion.

That is a difficult decision. Since you already told his mother yes she may be really looking forward to it. It is possible that she may be hurt by your new decision. Do you think you could lay some ground rules down? No looking below the belt and no judgements? haha My MIL wanted nothing to do with the delivery room thankfully. My mother was stressing me out though so I sent her away! She still does not let me live that down

You do what YOU want. BUT, if you're concerned about hurt feelings then I would have just your hubs there. It's a nice moment to share with your husband when your LO is placed on your chest.

I don't get the whole thing of having your mum in the room to start with. I figure I am an adult, I should cut the apron strings. Dh and I are a team, he is all the support I could ever need.

Having said that, if you do want your mum there I think this is one of the few times when it is fine to distinguish between your mum and mil. I sure as $hit don't want mil seeing my lady bits!

@artbee: Just for the record, when I was an up and coming dad, I would sometimes hear people give similar reminders that dads don't deliver the baby and therefore shouldn't have much of a say.

I found it pretty alienating as a dad to hear stuff like that... it just bums you out and makes you feel like you're not an important part of the experience. I'm sure that's not what you meant, but just thought I'd share a male perspective on this one!

@artbee: I don't disagree! Was more specifically referring to that particular way of putting it...

I couldn't handle that. I don't even want MY mom in the room, much less his. Stand up for yourself... nicely.

Don't feel guilty just be honest and tell him, you changed your mind. You have EVERY RIGHT to be selfish and assertive when it comes to this!