I need help with DD's bedtime!
A little background: Jess will be 4 months on the 12th. She still sleeps in a bassinet next to our bed but has been consistently sleeping through the night so we will be moving her to her room, then the crib, soon. We were struggling with naps for awhile but we recently found a system that works.
We have NEVER struggled with bedtime until recently. We have a pretty good routine going of bath, diaper, lotion, pjs, swaddle, nurse, bed. Lately she's been waking up 10 minutes or so after I out her down so I'll give her her pacifier & she's good. But then a few minutes later she fusses again; this usually happens about 3 times before it turns into all out screaming that sometimes stops when I pick her up & sometimes it doesn't. Hubby thinks we should CIO but I am non committal. Tonight, I decided to attempt true CIO with Ferber checks. After 2 minutes, she was quite but started up again, I went in at 5 minutes & just as I was aproaching her, I heard her pass gas, get quite for a bit & start screaming again. So I listened to her tummy & didn't her any turmoil so I just put my hand on her belly & tried to help, sang her a song & walked out. She kept a crying. At 10 minutes I ended up picking her up, she fussed for a bit whole laying her head on my chest while I patted her back. She ended up burping (yes, I burped her after nursing & gave her gripe water before hand!) so then I felt guilty for making her cry because maybe she just didn't feel good. But maybe she burped from sucking in all that air while crying, especially because this never happens during the day...she doesn't have tummy troubles usually. This isn't the first time this has happened though. I feel like I'm totally screwing it up. I don't know how to help her but taking an hour to get to sleep nightly is getting ridiculous & I want to stop it before it gets out of control. Am I being mean? Or should I have left her to cry?
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My baby isn't a good sleeper, so I'm not the best person to ask... But she's awfully little for CIO
My LO went through a bad regression around that age, and we just had to kind of wait it out.
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@grizz: that's how I feel but she has always been a good night-time sleeper. Whenever I pick her up & she stops crying I think "Oh, she knows what she's doing I can just let her cry" but when I pick her up & she doesn't stop crying it makes me feel like she truly needs me. I just don't know what to do to help her get to sleep. Our routine was working SO WELL.
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I don't think this is a good time to try training her because she's 3.5-4 months… it's a common time for the 4 month sleep regression! Most of the moms on my month board and I started experiencing the 4 month sleep regression a couple weeks early at 3.5 months…. by the time month 5 hit, things got a lot better in the sleep department!
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@Mrs. Sunshine: FWIW, I have a normally good sleeper too, but around the 4 month mark his sleep was crap. He's 10 months now and that is still the worst his sleep had ever been.
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I agree that she is too little for CIO. I would wait it out a few week and see if this passes...as others have said, there's a really common 4 month regression.
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Thanks guys! I was really feeling like I was messing her up with my indecision but was totally at a loss for what the right thing to do was.
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@Mrs. Sunshine: this is why I totally didn't understand sleep training when my son wa younger - he often had a burp or spit up trapped when I went in to console him!i guarantee you she doesn't "know what she's doing" in the sense that she's manipulating you and you should let her cry, at this age. She knows something is amiss, and you comfort her!
4 months is a common regression time so maybe that what going on - our sleep got way way better at 5.5 months
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@scg00387: thank you! Now I feel better prepared to tell DH that she & I are not ready for CIO. It's hard to say no when you're so confused on how to help!
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I don't feel like I'm screwing it all up so much now!!!
I think that's my biggest worry is doing it "wrong" & her having issues because of me...sigh...oh motherhood. I truly appreciate HB at times like this. -
@Mrs. Sunshine: it is hard navigating sleep! I promise you you're not dooming yourself to bad habits
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That was a horrible age for sleep.
Around that age DS would often wake shortly after I put him down and he would have an extra burp in there. A little rock and he would go back down.
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@ALV91711: I'm so glad I'm not the only one!
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4 month regression. Sorry.
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@Mrs. Sunshine: Just before six months we moved him to his room and did a bit of CIO with checks and his sleep got much better. Then it improved some more. Then he got a cold in November, we moved in December, now he is teething again and sleep has been so hit or miss. Hopefully these teeth come in and we can go back to better.
I think baby sleep is something that just seems to go in cycles and one day he will get better at it.
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@ALV91711: it's just hard because you constantly question if it's something you're doing or need to change. We're going to have to mover her to her own room soon because she's getting close to outgrowing the bassinet. I'm going to miss her
lol but I bet it will be better for all of us!!
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@Mrs. Sunshine: you definitely aren't doing anything wrong!!! I say go with your gut and if you think she needs you then go to her
My LO went through a bad regression around that age, and we just had to kind of wait it out.
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