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@anonysquire: Isn't Zuma still pretty young - like just turned 1 a few months ago? So you've got a bit to go until preschool. Could you enroll her in daycare for a day or 2 a week? Or maybe start even smaller - drop her off in the daycare at the gym for an hour, or the daycare in the grocery store (if your store has that...several of ours do).

If you think she needs more social time, what about doing a class one day a week? Then she'd still be with you, but also around some peers.

@Truth Bombs: Yeah. Wegman's and Giant both have them. I haven't used it just because D actually loves grocery shopping with me and isn't a holy terror in the store. But it's basically like a gym daycare - you can drop them off, do your shopping, load up your car, and then go back for them. I'm pretty sure it's free, too.

I guess it depends on how much social interaction she is getting. Do you guys go to play dates or activities and classes? I don't think that matters much at only 12 months, but soon it will. 3 year old preschool isn't really for learning academics, but more for learning how to be a part of a class and to get along well with others. And follow directions!
But if you're going to parent/child classes and she's spending time with other kids, you might have those bases covered. I know a lot of people don't start preschool until 4.

ETA: the 3-year old preschool I'm sending my LO to is only 2.5 hours a day. Maybe you could do something like that?

What about starting with some kind of mommy and me classes so you can see that she is interacting with other children and other caregivers and is safe? Kind of ease yourself in that way before sending her off to daycare.

I would also recommend therapy for you to help with the anxiety. Hugs

@anonysquire: My DD is just turning 2 and she hasn't been left with anyone other than my SIL, MIL, or my mom! I am starting her in an early development preschool this summer that is 2.5 hours and it is killing me to decide between 1 day a week and 2 days a week!! I can't imagine being away from her, but I feel like it will be good for her (and me). I know it is hard, but they do need to learn to be independent and self-reliant. And by the time she is 3, you both might be ready.

ETA: Yes, just put her on the list and decide later!

@Truth Bombs: @psw27: I don't think this is common to all Wegmans stores, none of the ones where I used to live had childcare! Maybe it's a pilot program only in certain regions?

@anonysquire: what do you lose if you get on the wait list now and then change your mind when a spot comes up? If it's nothing or just a small deposit, I'd probably get on the list and make the final decision later.

@anonysquire: if she's in classes already and a playgroup, it sounds like she's getting a ton of social interaction.
we both work, me during the day, DH in the evenings and while it was great as far as childcare goes, LO was missing out on a social life. He's in preschool half days and LOVES it. Eager to learn, loves his friends. I feel really good about sending him for those reasons.

I agree with @2PeasinaPod:, I think you will be surprised what will come of a different environment. I'm astounded by the things that my girl has learned at daycare/school. Of course I WOH, so her being with me isn't really an option. She loves school and thrives.

If you are reading to her at home then she doesn't need 3 yr old preschool.

@anonysquire: Not sure if this helps but I don't plan on putting DD into preschool at 3 ( she turns it the end of June). I do plan on her starting one or two activites- either gymnastics or ice skating. She may also start violin. I feel as though that is enough. Seems like Zuma has a lot of socialization!

I have only skimmed the other responses but my take on it is that if you are doing classes and exposing her to other adults who lead the way as well as other kids and grown ups them you are probably fine skipping 3s preschool.

My daughter just misses the kindergarten cut off in our state and will essentially be going to kindy when she is 6. I cannot wrap my brain around paying for 3 years of preschool so she won't go until she is 4.

All that being said, if there is a long wait list I would put her on it. Who knows, maybe you will have triplets by then and will be desperate for someone to entertain your three year old!

It sounds like she has a lot of activities. I wouldn't worry about socialization. I don't think it hurts to put your name on waiting list though.

@Truth Bombs: We have that here - my daughter loves it. We go grocery shopping on the weekends and make a big thing out of it just because she enjoys it so much.

As someone who had a mother with severe anxiety, I would really beg you to try and shield her from it as much as possible. As an adult with my own kids, I'm really starting to understand just how much my mother intentionally held me back in life in service of her anxiety. She really tried to teach me that the world was a scary, terrible place, and she was pretty successful. Now I feel really sad about all the ways in which I'm not brave enough to go out and do the things I want to do. I keep working on it, but it feels like this huge awful battle that I wish I didn't have to fight.

And to be honest, I'm really angry with her about it. We don't have a great relationship now, and this is a big part of it. I specifically chose to marry someone who is absolutely fearless, and we're trying to raise our daughter that way, because I want the cycle of anxiety and fearfulness to stop with me. But I doubt that my mother and I will ever be especially close, just because of how angry I am with her about it.

I think you need to address the root cause of the problem - your anxiety. Whether or not you put her in preschool won't fix the anxiety issue. Have you thought about getting therapy for yourself?

You can do part time daycare, its like 3 hours a day and that ways its eases Z and you into a school setting.

@anonysquire: not sure that she would be aware of it unless you were informing her?