She hasn't said anything, but her belly has gotten considerably larger since she started working for us in November. Her wardrobe has shifted from jeans & sweaters to sweatpants and baggy sweatshirts. This morning it was even larger than usual, it looks like she might be around 6 months along.
I'm obviously not going to say anything.. but ugh.. What would you do in this situation? We love her and would totally work with her, but this inevitably means a temporary or permanent replacement..
wonderful clementine / 24134 posts
Wow I can't imagine that she's 6 months and hasn't said anything.
How would you work with her? Would you let her bring a newborn? Do you think she would just quit?
cantaloupe / 6206 posts
Whoa you think she's 6 months pregnant and hasn't told you?! That's really..... strange. Gosh. I don't know what I would do since asking and her NOT being pregnant would be mucho awkward.
grapefruit / 4187 posts
@T.H.O.U.: I would absolutely work with her and let her bring the baby to work. I think it would be great for DS and if it keeps her happy then we are totally fine with it. She lives really close to us too, so it is a real possibility.
@JoJoGirl: There's a chance that I'm wrong and boy do I hope I am. But her stomach has in fact increased in size considerably in the past month and she looks clearly pregnant now. I am just guessing 6 months based on the size but it could be earlier since it would be her 4th pregnancy.
bananas / 9628 posts
i would give her an easy in to bring it up. maybe mention some random co-worker whose nanny brought their baby to work with them and how sweet the kids are together now. or how there must be something in the water because it seems like everyone was announcing pregnancies over the holidays. see if she takes the bait.
cantaloupe / 6206 posts
@Modern Daisy: Oohhhhhh. 4th!? That changes things! My BFF just had her 3rd and looked 6 months pregnant before she was out of her first tri. I'd wait a couple of weeks - it'll probably resolve itself.
grapefruit / 4187 posts
@mrs. bird: Thank you! I was trying to think of ways to fish it out of her, but couldn't find the words. I like the idea of saying there must be something in the water because everyone is pregnant. I mean, I'm sure she's already decided when she'll tell us so there's little I can do to find out early, but if she is looking for a way to bring it up that could be helpful.
@JoJoGirl: Yes, I am really hoping that she just looks further along than she actually is. Or that I'm totally wrong lol. I mean, she will have to tell us eventually but it's gonig to suck having to find a replacement so soon..
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
@Modern Daisy: she's probably nervous about it to begin with so I would probably hold off on saying anything until she's ready, if she actually is pregnant.
bananas / 9628 posts
@Modern Daisy: she is probably earlier in her pregnancy than she looks, or she's afraid of being fired, or both- I'm guessing both. It's not like other jobs where it would be unacceptable to fire a woman for being pregnant, out of my nanny friends, the only ones who weren't fired ('replaced') were ones who had been with the families for many years. If she feels like you're happy about all the announcements or nannies bringing their babies, she will probably open up sooner. Good luck!
pomegranate / 3053 posts
I would just wait for her to say something. She could be really early but being her 4th pregnancy, she could show much, much earlier. But I know I would be a big stress case b/c finding good nannies isn't easy! I hope she tells you soon so you can move on and plan for what's next. Good luck and keep us updated!
grapefruit / 4187 posts
@mediagirl: I'm definitely not going to say anything. I mean, I could be wrong. I hope I am. And if I am wrong, how horrible would it be if I brought it up!
grapefruit / 4187 posts
@erwoo: I know, I hope she tells us soon too. As much as we would be willing to work with her, it is inevitable that she will need to take a lot of time off for Dr.'s appts and then after the baby comes to recover. It's not really fair to us to be left in the lurch at the last minute because she wanted a paycheck for as long as possible.
kiwi / 661 posts
Could you maybe just ask if she has any need for time off coming up? I don't know what your rules are with her taking vacation or anything but just say you're looking at your calendar for the next year and want to start figuring things out. Keep it general and vague.
blogger / nectarine / 2600 posts
I was a nanny and worked through both my pregnancies and after my first child was born. I didnt tell my family until I was closer to 3-4 months pregnant. The difference was though that I didnt work in the summer months as my kids were older and went to camp so I just timed my pregnancies to work out so I have birth in June and took my maternity leave in the summer months. With my son I returned in September and took him with me. I stopped work when my daughter was born
pomegranate / 3053 posts
@Modern Daisy: Yeah, I agree, especially since she has kids too so she knows how important it is to have reliable childcare.
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