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@bluestriped bee: I totally understand your points in your most recent post. I get it. But I'm just curious how this would work? Would all the other Bee's still be able to visit the "other" section? And where would people like me fit in? Those who are still going through infertility, but do have a child? Would I belong there? I'm just trying to figure out how all of this would work. Would there be a lot of "repeat" threads in both sections? Very interesting and I do get why you'd like the privacy. I'm just not sure about all of it, but I hope it works so that you and others who'd like this new format will get it.
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I am with @Jenn23 on this one. I don't like the separation. I understand the desire for privacy and completely understand the divide. However, this would almost make me feel worse about my IF. I feel like I face enough divide in real life because of my IF (can't relate to issues my friends face with children, get left out of things because I don't have children, etc.) that this would make me feel even more separate. I also completely understand Jenn's question regarding where she and others who already have children but still face IF would belong.
Either way I'll support the decision, just giving my opinion!
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@Jenn23: I would assume that it would just be like the Dad boards. All public. Just our own space. So, yes, anyone could venture over to the IF boards. For you, you could go to whatever and wherever you feel like you belong. Just because you post on one board, does not mean you have to stay there. You could post on both if you wanted or stick to one. I can see duplicate threads on both. I guess it would depend on what kind of response you want to get. I'm sure there will be a slow process of feeling things out and what works and doesn't work. I'm just giving the ability for people who want a more dedicated IF space, the ability to have it. I think if you want to make it feel separate, you can. But we can integrate with the boards, too. At least try. I guess it depends on how others will use it. I see, at least, 4-5 people who love or like this idea. So I'm not alone. Also, we aren't being shunned to the other side. MrBee already said the current boards will remain the same. Like I've said, I'm trying to support others who think this is a good idea.
@Sunshine1810: Please read above. I do not want to divide us, I'm just trying to support us in different ways. It might not be what you personally need in terms of support but some people thinks its a good idea and think there is a need.
Maybe we need this to sink in a little and give it some time. See if there is still a need for it in a few months. Shoot, I'm starting my IUIs again and maybe I'll finally get pregnant and this won't be necessary. It's just that there are times in the past year, I've wondered about this and wished we had a dedicated space. I never thought it would be possible because of how HB was setup with the mixing of boards. Now that MrBee said he's thought about makes me a bit excited.
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@bluestriped bee: I'm ambivalent. I can see a dedicated IF board becoming more specialized where bees can give and receive relevant IF information. But I also don't want to see the IF boards on the main forum abandoned...maybe because I feel like @Jenn23: I'm not sure where I belong. I don't know that I'd feel comfortable posting on a separate set of IF boards but I value the IF boards on the main boards.
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@swedishfish: Thanks for commenting! I'm actually feeling the opposite. I'm afraid these new dedicated IF will be just 5 people (the ones that currently support it) just hanging out, until no one uses it. It might be really depressing. I don't see the current IF boards being abandoned. There is so much support for it to stay the same. I highly doubt everyone with IF or had IF will migrate over there. The idea of it is barely getting any traction. Which I was prepared for when I created this thread.
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I am mostly hiding out on hellobee in general right now. But we are investigating what seem to be some controversial things righty now for (or at least I don't know of anyone else on the boards) if. I don't know that I would have support in either place. I have thought about getting gold to post but don't know that if I had gold I would anyway.
There are a lot of good people here and I don't feel unsupported just not really sure where to go. Or how to really share. And sometimes I feel greedy since we did have one baby (through ivf).
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I think I could see a dedicated separate IF section being a safe place for IFers to express the thoughts (often intense) that go along with the experience. And although it's generally not an IF vs parents thing, it can get awkward when the topic of hiding boards or making it easier for others to support IFers is brought up. This isn't something that is even an issue in other IF forums. I'm not one to hide boards generally, but I could see how someone might eventually feel motivated to filter out a topic if it dominated every page yet had very little relevance to their life and they had to keep scrolling to get to relevant topics. But it is hurtful to have to hear about it.
Another benefit of having a dedicated section would be the ability to have subsections - which might help bees who say they're not sure where they fit in. Like we have IFers who are going through secondary IF, PCOS, DOR, different forms of treatment, holistic treatment, looking for spiritual support, etc. And yes, secondary IF/IF with your 2nd+ is still a completely valid form of infertility! It's important for us to recognize that. This not a parent/nonparent thing. No one should ever have to feel alone and in the shadows.
Obviously I'd post wherever we have a board. Just have been trying to figure out how to respond, and feeling sad about the bees who say they don't know where they belong.
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