Hellobee Boards

@brownie: @spaniellove: @Mrs.VW: It sucks that we all have to pay so much I've had really good experiences though with my doctors (pregnancy/fertility-related and just regular doctors as well) being flexible with offering discounts and payment plans once they know that I am self-insured and paying out-of-pocket. I'm hoping that will continue. And @Mrs.VW, yay for your chicken broth!! Maybe I will get brave and try it soon.

@Grace: I can purchase a maternity rider for my insurance, but it still wouldn't cover infertility, it requires a 9 month waiting period before I even get pregnant, and it's crazy expensive. I'm much better off putting that extra money in my HSA every month and saving it for paying things on my own. If I stopped working for myself and got another job I could probably get better benefits, but I'm not willing to do that. I'd feel badly taking a job just for insurance knowing full well I'd want to leave after I had the baby, and also I know that I am a much happier person working for myself.

@Mrs Green Grass: Thank you for the Clomid/IUI cost info! I have a feeling that might be in our future. $500-$600 is do-able for us, although multiple attempts might not be (unless they're spaced out). It's so helpful to have even a rough idea of what to expect, cost-wise. I'm a freelance event manager and my husband is a teacher at a private school, so money is such a major component of all of this for us! We were hoping he could make the switch to a public school this year (for better pay and better benefits) but it didn't work out

@MK0180: I completely understand the hesitancy to talk to an RE based on insurance. That's why I'm starting my basic tests with an ob/gyn. They've already told me they will code things in a way that it won't pop up as "fertility-related" to my insurance. So at least that will save me a little bit before I have to move on to an RE (if I do at all... still wishful thinking that maybe I won't!).

@Leialou: I hope IUI does the trick for you! Please keep us posted.

@daniellemybelle: I just pay out of my savings for all my doctor's appointments, but if it's something more than usual, nearly every doctor's office will offer either a discount or a payment plan. I've also read about companies that have private loans available specifically for medical cases.

@GreenThumb: Parents are the best. I hope all goes well for you! I know my mom would help us pay for IUI if we end up there, but I don't know if she could afford to help us with IVF... especially since she helped so much with our wedding last year (she paid for half of it!). As of yet, I haven't told anyone in my family about our issues. I'm waiting to see what comes from the initial testing next week. I think my mother-in-law would probably also be willing/able to help us with some costs if we get to a place that we can't afford things, but I don't know how comfortable my husband would feel asking her for money.

@kentuckygirl: Thank you! I'm so happy I have the appointment next week. I'm on CD20 and I'm maybe gearing up to O, but I did this before and no actual O.

@redsmarties: Adoption is definitely on my mind. The other day my husband and I had a brief conversation about it, basically that if it comes down to IVF being our only option for a biological child, we would rather put that money (once it's saved - we definitely don't have it now) toward adoption.

But we are very early in this whole process, so who knows how we'll feel if and when we get to that point! Right now it's difficult to imagine us being able to afford either option, so no serious thought has gone into it.

@MrsCB: Well, its not that our religion 'objects' to either IUI or IVF. We're Christian, and DH is a pastor. We just feel that if after all this time, God hasn't blessed us with a biological child, we would rather adopt. We don't have any objection to others doing IUI and IVF, and I completely understand that adoption is not for everyone. Its just a personal reason for us - DH would rather not attempt to 'play God'. (I'm really sorry if this offends anyone - I really didn't mean it to come off as 'judgey' or anything. Just a personal decision that Dh and I have made).

@redsmarties: So funny you bring up adoption, DH and I were just talking about it this week and he gave me the go ahead to just look into finding out some options for us. We're still not 100% if that is the route we are going to go but I know that I CAN NOT do another year like this last one. No would would make it out alive if I did. We also wouldn't do IUI or IVF so it would be the next step for us. There are days I feel like it would be a great plan but then others were I'm just not sure and maybe it should be just 'us'. We are the same as you two though, we only want to do what was intended for our lives and not try to just do what we want. Sometimes that is hard to decifer! And another part is the money too - at some point you have to decide if IVF or adoption is the route you want to go. With both being so expensive, it would be hard to do both.
I don't really understand why adoption is so expensive. Even domestic infant adoption can be $10K+!

Hi all, just checking in again.... Sorry cost is such an issue for you ladies.... What should be such a joyous time is tainted w such sadness and stress...

When we first started on our journey, hubs was totally against testing and other infertility treatments... But, in the end, what we came to was that maybe these treatments are god's way to help some people. We r Christians and we had to decide when a baby is actually a baby... We prayed and prayed about it. We felt that a baby wasn't a baby until it was implanted and stuck. So... We went ahead w ivf knowing we would do just 1 cycle... If god intended us to have kids, maybe this was the way... And funny thing is, I thought our parents would have been so against it since they r like ultra religious. They were both behind us 100%. God has blessed us w 2 beautiful babies and I thank god literally every day.

If we didn't get pregnant, we would have gone the adoption route... But adoption is not off the table. I know we would like 1 more child and if not "naturally," we r looking to possibly adopt.

I really hope each and every one of u will have a child to shower w love soon! Good luck w all the iui, clomid, adoption, etc. hope u get the answers u need and some peace with the whole process!

@Sweetooth Just did my first injection and it was literally NOTHING!!! Like, did not feel a thing. So glad that's something I don't have to stress out about, although we'll see what the side effects are...but yes, happy to report my first injection was very easy!!

@Greenthumb thanks, I really hope this cycle works too!! And I gots my fingers crossed for you too

@Spaniellove You wrote some really amazing words about the frustration, sadness and anger that going through infertility brings on, I really identified with pretty much everything you said. Bravo.

@Trailmix: glad the injectables aren't so bad! don't forget to massage the area that you "grab and stab (lol!)".... first few times aren't so bad, but if you do it for awhile, it definitely gets sore and the area can get hard.

Wow. Wow! DH told his mother about our situation recently and her response was, "did you try?" No, we got bored, just had some extra money lying around, and thought we'd buy ourselves a baby. He didn't want to explain the gory details of us doing it and that he'd had SAs done and that most of all, she'd been told when he was young that he'd be infertile and never did ANYTHING about it - and she had the nerve to ask if we'd even tried to get pregnant.

@spaniellove: Wow, I can't believe she would be so insensitive! I wouldn't even know how to respond to something like that. Our parents have been supportive, even though I think they dont understand how much it bothers us. How did she know he would be infertile when he was younger?

@Leialou: He had a physical done as a teenager and the dr mentioned that he had a varicocele and it could lead to infertility. He didn't tell me until years after we were married. I can't imagine what kind of mom hears this and thinks nothing of it. But at our wedding, his parents actually went up to my dad and said they were looking forward to becoming grandparents to their *daughter's* children someday! Who says something like that?

@kentuckygirl: Thanks for the well wishes. We only did one embryo for our fresh cycle, but we will do 2 this time around. I'm really hopeful that this cycle will work! DH and I have both come around to the idea of twins if things work out that way and know we'll be ok with that, maybe even a little happy that we wouldn't have to go through IVF again for a sibling.

@spaniellove: That sounds like a really good idea. It is really unfortunate that she didn't consider how this issue would affect her son (and hence, you) in the future. Since she chose not to deal with it when she found out, she probably doesn't know how to deal with it now. Is your DH upset, now that he realizes the impact, that they didn't get more info or deal with it back then when they first found out? I'm sure as a kid he didn't really think too much about it, but his mom sure should have! What a crappy situation! I'm sorry!

@trailmix: thanks for the update! Glad to hear the first injection wasn't too bad at all. One less stress Yay!

@Grace: As the mama of an adopted baby I can tell you that unequivocally my feelings are just the same for my adopted child as for my bio baby. It might have taken a little longer for us to figure each other out... but now that we've got it, it's so awesome!

@Grace: Oh my gosh and when the right baby finds you, it's like it was all pre-destined, totally meant to be! Our M. is just absolutely perfect for our family. She and her sister are different, but just the perfect complement for each other... and when I see her get stranger danger when she's not near me or I hand her off, well it makes me tear up because it's so completely clear that we are the tightest of family.... so bonded and whole with each other

I just wanted to check in to see how everyone is doing!

I have an appt. on Friday to get started on testing to figure out what our next steps will be. I'm both excited and nervous for it and have a looong list of questions ready to go

@alie: Good luck with your appointment on Friday! I'm right there with you on the nerves and excitement. I go in for my first RE appointment tomorrow. I hope we can get started on testing right away. I feel like I don't have a ton of questions, I just want to start testing. I wish the first appointment could come AFTER tests

@Grace: Good luck next Monday! Glad to hear you have a distraction for your TWW.

@alie: @Grace: @sweetooth: Good luck guys! My appointment isn't for another week! But I did start today with a therapist for the infertility. It was like having a brain massage!