-
I'm sorry that it's so offensive. If you want to wear your shoes in your house, fine.
I still think it's yucky. lol
It's just something that really turns my stomach..
-
@meredithNYC: I think it makes you nasty, but not rude.
-
This is like 70% of the cause of the fights between me and DH - and that is not even an exaggeration. I am asian so I of course grew up not wearing shoes in the house. DH is not, and my in-laws wear shoes in their house, so he has fights me to the death. He's gotten a little better about it, but it seriously boils my blood when i see him with his shoes on in our bedroom, etc.
-
@looch: LOL - thanks!
-
I firmly believe that people can do whatever they want in their own house!! It doesn't affect me...
There's a whole cultural background behind why Japanese don't wear shoes in the house, involving woven tatami mats and not entertaining at home... America is a very different country, so I'm not surprised there are so many regional differences!
-
@mrbee: good point. Regional AND cultural differences. But also, just personal preference, I think. Like I said, this has never been a big deal in our house. But, I also come from a family where were also allowed to rollerblade in the house (not the basement) when it got nasty outside, so maybe take what I say with a grain of salt
-
@LovelyPlum: haha my Japanese heritage is struggling to process what you just said!!! Rollerblading in the house ahhh!!!!
The kid in me kind of wishes I could have rollerbladed at home though!
-
@mrbee: LOL. That's fair.
My parents had a galley kitchen, and you could go through the kitchen to the den, down the hallway, into the living room and back in a big circle. Their flooring was cold, hard tile original to the house that they couldn't replace without major hassle because of asbestos concerns, so it was pretty much perfect for roller blading. We just picked up the rugs and went at it! It was a little slippery, though, and I wiped out on more than one occasion.
To be fair, I'm almost 100% that my father would have had a heart attack if we knew we did this. My mom was OK with it, but we usually only did it on snow days when he wasn't home
-
my husband and i are asian and shoes are an absolute no-no in the house. so yes, it is a cultural thing. but, we also live in a big city, and the streets here have dog pee/poop, vomit, etc etc and i have no idea what my shoes and my guests' shoes have picked up. my daughter rolls around on the floor and picks any sort of bit up and tries to eat it.
the blogger's friend who said "its a power play" - that is COMPLETELY ABSURD. yes, i want to control you and tell you to take your shoes off. umm...what?
-
We live in the west where there's snow and rain. We got into the habit of not wearing shoes in the house due when we lived in an apartment and didn't want to track it in from the outdoors - even though we both grew up in shoes inside households. Now, we still take our shoes off. We don't request that others do when they come over, but with our friends we've noticed that people tend to do what their hosts are doing. When they see we have our shoes off, they take theirs off. The exception being when we host bigger parties.
-
If people don't want to take their shoes off in my home, I'll walk to the playground and hang out there instead.
Our place is too small for parties and the only people who come over for dinner are family and they understand. -
@looch: That's funny you say that because the few parties i've been to where shoes were allowed, the floors were pretty gross! I gladly kept my shoes on.
Canadian and Asian and shoes were never allowed indoors growing up. I don't think it's rude to expect your guests to take off their shoes. Yes, you are a guest but i feel you should respect the wishes/customs of the person who has welcomed into your home.
@chibee: Shoes on the bed boggles my mind!!
-
I grew up in a house where we always took our shoes off. My mom would flip the heck out if I tried walking in my parents house with shoes on. DH and I do not wear shoes in our home. When we go over to other homes, we take the lead from the host. If they aren't wearing shoes, we take ours off. Sometimes I'll go to take mine off and the host will tell me I don't have to.
I don't ask people to remove their shoes in our house... everyone does it anyway! If someone doesn't take them off, I don't say anything because I don't want them to feel uncomfortable. This may change once LO starts crawling... but for the most part, in my area, everyone removes them anyway.
-
@SleepyMonkey: I thought it was absurd too. Talk about analyzing to death a simple request.
-
@runnerd: I'm with you! I was originally not interested in this thread, but when it grew to three pages, I had to see what all the comments are about.
I keep my shoes on in the house, and off in the carpeted area. I'd also feel strange to be a party without shoes on, especially since I'm self conscious of my feet. I'm in Virginia and people seem to keep their shoes on for the most part!
-
No shoes in my house, sorry. I don't want the rat poop and pee from the subway on the floor that my toddler is constantly wiping with her tongue.
I have to say that the blogger's angst seems ridiculous, if someone is graciously hosting you in their home why be upset at what is a fairly commonplace request? Their home, their rules.
-
I think the issue is that in parts of the U.S. taking off your shoes is a very familiar act. Absent some other reason (like my host greeting me in stocking feet and/or seeing a line of shoes next to the door), I would no more do that as a guest in someone else's home than I would walk over to their fridge and help myself to a drink or walk into their bedroom. I understand the concern about cleanliness, and I share it, but when a host invites someone to be a guest in their home, a major part of the host's job is to make their guest feel comfortable. I think it's worth considering whether each guest would be comfortable taking their shoes off. (I'm assuming that the shoes are not covered in dirt, mud, snow, etc., and that they have been wiped on the doormat.) I understand the cultural practices around this to be driven primarily by the fact that homes were places for families, not friends and acquaintances.
-
This is really interesting. We never took our shoes off in our apartment, but started to when LO started crawling. I hate having to ask our friends to take their shoes off, but otherwise they'll track gross NY sidewalk goo all over our floors, so it's the only way. As soon as LO stops spending lots of time on the floor we'll reconsider!
-
@honeybear: I totally want my guests to be comfortable but I still draw the line at shoes in the home. I'm the one who has to live there after, you know?
When I am a guest in someone's home, I always try to follow the rules of the home. When in Rome, do as the Romans!
-
Its not common here to ask people to remove their shoes in your home. And as I'm thinking about it, I've actually asked the host/hostess if they mind if I take my shoes off in their home. I just don't like to wear shoes, so I remove them whenever possible.
-
I had no idea this was such a major debate! I live in Louisiana and no one has ever asked me to take off my shoes in their home. People really do that? I get the reasoning about bringing dirt in when it's snowing, etc but we don't have that problem down here. If I take my shoes off inside its because I want to get more comfortable. Honestly, I'm not too worried about germs, I guess.
-
we take off our shoes as soon we get home and we ask guests not to walk on the carpeted area (living room & bed room) with their shoes. We say its because LO crawls on their floor and they all understand.
When I go to people's homes I take off my shoes, especially if they have carpet.
-
I do find it to be totally rude. I am a shoes off person at my house, and it is a very person thing for me. Honestly, I would be unlikely to return to a house where I was required to take mine off each time I visited.
-
We are a no-shoe household but when I'm hosting people I don't make a big deal out of it. I'll only ask if they are planning on going up to the second floor. I usually look at my host and then ask. I think when you're hosting you need to be flexible and it's more important that my guests feel comfortable than my floors getting dirty.
-
@sarac: Is it rude if the request is due to cultural reasons?
-
I don't know anyone who wears shoes in the house (unless you forgot something and had to run back in quick). We live in Ontario, Canada.
-
I grew up in a white, shoes on house but DH is Indian and he converted me, now i think shoes in the house are so gross! I even notice when we're watching TV and someone in the show climbs into their bed with shoes on, it totally disgusts me.
-
I don't wear my shoes in the house, and try to get DH to take his off at the door. I do not require it of my guests, but would prefer if they did.
-
@PurplePumps: really, I usually let it slide with repair people because I assume most are wearing them to protect their feet from whatever they're doing. I wouldn't pick up my own washing machine or walk around a room that might have nails lying around with stocking feet so wouldn't expect them to either. But yeah, if they're working outside and just need to pop in to get a drink or use the bathroom, off they come.
-
@Sapphiresun: Well yeah, I guess I don't really mean repair people cause we never really hire any, but we've had people over for energy audits or appraisal just walking around the house looking at things, so they did not need their shoes on. Even if there was hardware or stuff on the floor, I mean, we do wood working and repairs, etc ourselves and we don't wear shoes, it's not that dangerous. If it was for safety, then of course we'd let that slide, but we haven't run into a case where it'd crucial to have safety boots on. And for the 2 cases someone had to be in our attic, they had booties to put around their shoes to walk upstairs so I think people know that a lot of people don't want shoes trekking around in their house, otherwise they wouldn't have been so prepared.
-
@chibee: I'm Asian and my husband is white. I grew up in a no shoe household and my inlaws are a shoes on household. I've explained to my husband why I prefer not to have shoes on in the house and after a few years he's finally on board with me...which includes reminding his parents that we don't wear shoes in our house as a general rule. He became especially vigilant after we has LO. We have several slippers including ones they have brought over to leave at our place.
All my mom friends are white and I don't know if it's bc they also have young kids but they are all no shoes in the house too.
I do not insist on it when I have a large party but most people take off their shoes automatically and then I think everyone else follows suit. The only time I really remember wearing shoes in the house is in college...and at my inlaws...if you wear shoes in the house then I don't really want to be walking around in my socks/bare feet
-
@Freckles: No, I'd hesitate to judge something based on cultural norms. But I don't care for the practice, despite the reasons behind it. I understand it in very wet, muddy places. Beyond that it makes me quite unhappy.
-
I remove my shoes in my own home, and have no problems removing my shoes at others' homes. My husband doesn't and it makes me crazy!
I don't ask guests to do it though.
-
I live in Austria and the common practice is to take off your shoes at some else's house. Many people keep baskets if house shoes or slippers by the front door. The exceptions seem to be for repair people and parties. Even when we have play dates or go to other people's homes for play dates, all the shoes come off. I have gotten into the habit of taking slippers for DS so I know he has warm feet and is not sliding around in socks. I am also maniacal about checking the status if my own socks if I know I'm going to be somewhere where I have to take off my shoes.
-
@SleepyMonkey: Exactly!! I was honestly surprised when I read that part!! It's about the FLOOR and about US not about YOU!!
We live in a small place and don't have people over but we have never even had to ask someone to take off shoes..they see ours and do it.
I think this is a case of my house, my rules, your house, your rules.
-
We don't wear shoes in our home, but it's more of a comfort thing than dirt. When we have guests over they usually take off their shoes bc they see ours in the entry way, but we never ask.
I grew up in the Midwest with Texan parents and we're Jewish so I don't know how that helps the regional/cultural question, haha. I think it was bc we had hardwood floors? My parents always had out friends/kids take off shoes, but if they had adult parties they did not ask the guests to take off shoes.
My in laws wear shoes at home. My fil throws fits in shoes are left by the door actually....
-
it blows my mind that this is even a debate! i don't wear shoes inside. i don't walk into someone else's house with my grotty shoes on.
everyone i have ever known takes their shoes off at the door, at their own house or someone else's. i've honestly never even had anyone ask, because it's just what you do! there's always piles of shoes in the entry way.
i don't understand how asking someone to keep your house clean and dirt free is rude! and a power play? srsly? talk about over thinking. it's going to ruin your outfit? boo hoo. get over it. it's their house, not yours, you need to respect their request, no matter how stupid or irrelevant you think it is!
having said all that, DH wears shoes inside. i figure it's his house too, he can do what he wants. but if i have to ask a GUEST in OUR house to take their shoes off, and they get annoyed? they're not coming back. but, i wouldn't have to because everybody does anyway. maybe i'd feel differently if i had to ask every time. who knows
-
@Penny Lane: I think the element that you're saying of being a good guest is also being a good host and not making your guests uncomfortable.
I think it's funny that this debate is getting more heated than other controversial subjects I've seen discussed on the bee!
-
I don't think someones vanity (my shoes make my outfit look good) trump the cleanliness of my house. If people can't take their shoes off, they should just avoid coming to my house. I think wearing shoes in someones home is gross.
-
@MsMini: same!
I can't even fathom leaving shoes on in someone else's house, and if they ask me to I am extremely uncomfortable. Shoes are gross. I grew up in a white, Midwest house and shoes came off at the door (although now, inexplicably, my Dad leaves his on at home now that we're all grown up.) I have no issues asking people to take theirs off at my house... there is a baby crawling around! Fortunately I don't ever anticipate hosting a fancy pants party but if I did, it would be at night after LO was asleep, I'd make everyone stay on hardwoods, and clean immediately after
ETA- I did let LO crawl at the library, etc. where peoples' shoes obviously had walked but that was for short amounts of time. I don't want lawn chemicals, snow salt, dog poop, oil from the streets, etc. permanently on my rugs or carpet! I'm not an overly sanitized germaphobe
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
137 comments