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@meredithNYC: UGH. God that is gross!! I have seen a 6 year old (ish) pooping in a plastic bag at the playground--happened to be a playground WITH A BATHROOM like 30 feet away. Maybe she had a phobia, but still. Gross.
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@hotchildinthecity: I've never had a problem using the bathroom of a cafe in New York, especially with a kid! It helps though that I usually buy a small drink. Even if I don't though, if I ask nicely then most places will say yes.
The biggest thing we do though is to use the bathroom before we go to the playground.
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@hilsy85: no I'm not saying it would be dumped in the playground! Just that it still would be dumped by the car or by a bush or something.
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@T.H.O.U.: oh yeah! That's fine! I don't care about any space outside of the actual playground confines.
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@hilsy85: totally agree about the side street. And good to know people are a little nicer with bathrooms when you have kids. One of the things I dislike about New York is the lack of public bathrooms.
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I am guessing some parents are grossed out by public bathrooms in nyc. Some can be quite scary. You mentioned they were mostly girls. So maybe they think it is cleaner to have them pee outside rather than have to sit on a filthy toilet. For me, i would bring a travel potty. However, i did see a gawker article that had a pic of a toddler using a potty outside on a sidewalk and people were completely disgusted by it (i assume most commenters didnt have kids).
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@Orchid: Thanks! I stand corrected!
@hilsy85: I meant specifically stray animals. Sure you can't bring your own pet, but the city is over run. And the homeless population is quite large.
I can see both sides of the argument, yes, children and their parents should be held accountable, it's more the behaviour that is the issue, rather than the urine itself. Accidents happen, though, and I am much more forgiving for those, especially since I know full well it could be my son at any moment.
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Ew
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@SleepyMonkey: I've seen that picture....it was at a restaurant though (if we're talking about the same one)...with a bathroom indoors. (They were sitting on the patio/deck)
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I can not by any stretch of imagination fathom letting my daughter pop a squat in a playground (or any where in public) and urinate! I'm literally horrified by this. If my child couldn't be relied on to tell me with 2-3 minutes of warning that she needs to go so we can get to the potty then I would just put her in a pull up for long outings.
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@hotchildinthecity: ah ok. I guess i would take my kid in the bathroom and use the potty in there. I am new to this potty training thing, i have no idea what i would do if we are out and about and she needs to go potty. She hasnt ever used a regular toilet without the little kiddie seat attached.
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@looch: if a kid accidentally pees at the park, NBD. I get it, it happens. But purposely letting them do it, is, IMO, gross.
@SleepyMonkey: but you can toilet paper the seat...I guess I would just never think of peeing in the playground as an acceptable solution--I would prob let LO pee his pants than do that. And lesson learned for next time--pee again before we leave, limit liquids, bring the travel potty, etc.
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Isn't peeing in public a crime? Why would I teach my kid to do this? This is totally bizarre to me.
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@SleepyMonkey: I think I've seen that there's travel seat things that you can put on top of a public toilet or something? That's my plan when LO starts training.
But honestly, I know there's going to be times when my kid is peeing outside. His favorite park is probably 15 minute walk from our apartment. It has no bathroom...I could do some recon on places with bathrooms in the neighborhood, but if it's an emergency, we'll find a quiet area away from play equipment. When I'm out and about in the city, I always have a nearby bathroom in mind, but "nearby" could be in a store, up the escalator, and could involve a line.
Here's the article about the kid using the travel potty outside for anyone curious. It is pretty funny:
http://gothamist.com/2013/04/10/photo_pooping_at_outdoor_cafe_is_ho.php -
@hilsy85: Well, an accident is gross too, but I get the sense that you also feel the parents should know better.
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@Truth Bombs: nor can I. That said, when we were living in NYC, the public bathrooms in our park were so vile, I wouldn't go in myself, nevermind have my toddler try to use it. So it's a conundrum for sure. I remember my sister keeping a portable potty in her SUV for a long time and the kids would just hop in the back and use it as needed. Obviously that only works in the suburbs.....
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@Madison43: I never lived in NYC with kids but I did live there for 2 years and I feel like there was always a Starbucks with clean bathrooms within spitting distance of any place I was!
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@Truth Bombs: a lot of the starbucks bathrooms have turned to "employee only" or you have to stand in line and ask for a code or a key. There was this whole article recently about how Starbucks was tired of being nyc's public bathroom.
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@hotchildinthecity: Interesting. I was in the city just this past Christmas and used a Starbucks bathroom on 5th Avenue with no issue. But I guess that makes sense... I do feel like SB was the go to public restroom for everyone I know.
ETA: My solution to this problem would still never be to teach/allow my child to urinate in public.
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@Truth Bombs: oh there's definitely some still available I imagine. I work near Bryant park and the Starbucks directly across the street is employees-only now, and when I lived on the UES the one near my apartment always had a line 4 people deep for the bathroom. And I've popped into a couple lately looking for a bathroom and they didn't have one. I also read that some pop out-of-order signs on them to not have to deal with the messes people make.
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I find this incredibly gross as well, and wasn't aware it was an issue until it showed up in a local news blog here in the dc area last year. I totally understand the need to have SOMEWHERE to go when there is no bathroom nearby. However, I think I personally will try to take a portable potty with me and put some paper towels in the plastic bag when we start potty training, not just for sanitary reasons, but because I don't want strangers seeing my daughter's bottom!
The kids by our playground usually go behind a tree, which is hard to argue because we're right by a dog park and dogs pee there as well. I think the fact that it's ON the playground makes it totally unacceptable. Maybe you could say something like 'I hate to ask, but a lot of kids, including my son, love digging around there (ie, where the kid is playing). Would you mind if you ask your child not to pee there?' I think a parent would be hard-pressed to proclaim 'my child shall pee wherever s/he wants!'
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@Truth Bombs: @hotchildinthecity: yeah, most of the starbucks are on lock down. Now that we are talking about this, I remember pre-kids seeing parents in the park take out their portable pottys and have their kids use them right there and being horrified. Now it's one of those things I understand. So while I agree that I'm not teaching my kid to pee in public, I can totally imagine the circumstances that result in it happening.
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I admit that's kind of gross, but I've seen kids peeing in a corner of our playground and I totally understand. The nearest bathroom is a ten minute walk away, and it's only open in the summer in the daytime. They were always very small kids who must have just started potty training and didn't realize they need to go till the last minute.
And public bathrooms are so hard to find in many neighborhoods! I work outside the office in NYC a lot, and I've been turned away from quite a few restaurants/cafes because they're employees or customers only, or broken... though employees in a lot of others were incredibly nice. And Starbucks always has a line, or someone holed up in the bathroom for ten minutes
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My kids have definetley peed in public before but it's not my preference or something we do all the time. One time I was driving by myself with the four kids, everyone was sleeping except one of my son, Who woke up in tears about how he had to go to the bathroom. I pulled into a gas station to take him to the bathroom but he couldn't make it. I was trying to wake my other kids up but I couldn't do it fast enough so he went in front of the car.
I would never help them go right by a playground so that is a little weird. But I also wouldn't say anything. I don't think it would really be my place to do so. If I see someone doing something I wouldn't necessarily do I usually just think about how I don't know what their situation is, What their day has been like or what brought them to that point. If someone had said anything to me about my son peeing I probably would have cried. I tried so hard to get out of LA Traffic then find a bathroom then get his three siblings out of the car but he just couldn't hold it. I felt horrible that he was peeing in public and it would have been way worse if I had another mom condemning me for what I did.
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@hilsy85: yewwwww
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@hilsy85: sure you can toilet paper the seat, but i feel like toddlers are all squirmy and it wouldn't stay put. i try to not touch anything in a public bathroom. my toddler loves to put her hands on EVERYTHING. so while i agree that peeing on the playground is undesirable and inconsiderate, and the use of a travel potty would be the right thing to do, i have some sympathy for the situation. maybe they had another kid on the playground and couldn't get them to leave in a timely fashion?
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like on the playground? like if there was a sandbox, the kid peed in the sandbox?! that's weird. my kid cannot hold it yet, so i get the urgency, but i would at least stick in the bushes or something. (which i have when we were at a post office and i forgot the travel potty and they didn't have a public restroom) i would pick the place someone was least likely to walk through. not right there on the playground.
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@sweetpea612: i think a lot of nyc parents would have no problem with telling you to MYOB, even if they are in the wrong and know it!
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I think it's gross that the kid is peeing ON the playground. All the moms I know who have been in that situation bring their portable potty (for a girl) or they have their son pee in a bush (away from the playground). I sort of agree with PP....I wouldn't want strangers seeing my kid's naked butt!
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My parents live in the suburbs and the two parks that are walking distance to their house (about 10-15 minutes) do not have restrooms. I know my mom has allowed my son to pee there before. The parks are generally a few acres of grass and trees with a sand area and playground equipment in the center. I don't think its a big deal for him to pee in the grass near one of the big trees far from the actual playground. It's not ideal for him to pee at the park, but sometimes going before isn't enough for a 2.5 year old boy. There are no nearby stores or restaurants between the park and the house. They also usually take his little plastic push car and don't have room for a "travel potty" (we don't own one anyway). I don't really like the idea (for my family) of teaching a child to rely on using a potty seat in public. We kept my son in pull-ups for outings until he was comfortable using public bathrooms (about two weeks into potty training at 24 months). I had no desire to lug around a potty seat in my purse and for many shorter outings we don't take a stroller anymore.
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I would not pick the playground, but my kids definitely pee in public when I have no alternative. I really think most of you all are getting your panties in a bunch over something that's really not a huge deal.
I mean, @looch: is right. Birds, squirrels, strays and other animals and organisms crap all over the place all the time. The water we're drinking today was someone else's pee once upon a time. Not saying I want to drink someone's pee now, but I can think of a lot of other, more important things to get outraged about.
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I can' t help but think of the movie Big Daddy. The kid has to go while they're walking so he gets him to pee on a building. Then later in the movie, it's parent teacher conferences and Adam Sandler is talking to the teacher, while the kid is taking a pee on the plant nearby in the classroom...
I think it's wrong to get your kid to pee outside in a public place. It sends the wrong message.
I probably wouldn't say anything because I'm afraid of confrontation. But I do think it's just wrong.
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@mamimami: If peeing in public wasn't a huge deal then public urination wouldn't be a crime.
While the urine in a play area is gross in and of itself, I agree with the point Looch made that the bahavior is a much bigger issue than the urine, so the argument that animals go in public holds zero water for me. There are lots of things animals do that we don't.
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Just wanted to add that I picked up my son from daycare this afternoon and asked him if he needed to pee before we left. He said no. Ten minutes later we were walking to the grocery store through a fairly large intersection and he said he had to pee NOW. Of course I was irritated that he didn't go 10 minutes earlier, but the only thing I could do was have him pee in public next to a trash can. I would rather him pee in public than have an accident and be wet and uncomfortable for another half hour or however long it takes to get home. There was literally nowhere else we could have gone.
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THIS IS DISGUSTING.
I have had to take my LO to pee outside once before. We were at a nature center that has an outdoor playground, but the bathrooms close at 4 when the indoor exhibit closes, while the playground stays open until dusk. I told her we either had to go home so she could use the potty, or she could pee outside. I wheeled the girls all the way into the woods and climbed over a few stumps and branches before I was okay with her peeing outside. We were completely away from the playground in the woods and there's no way anyone would ever play in the spot she had to go.
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@Madison43: not really! You can easily keep a travel potty in the stroller basket. I guess if your kid is older you don't have a stroller...but then they should be able to hold it.
@Mama Bird: again, I just don't get why they can't go right outside the playground. @SleepyMonkey: I mean I have sympathy in that I get that accidents happen...but I think some people just think that this is an acceptable thing to do instead of getting a travel potty or trying to get to the bathroom.
@birdofafeather: not in the sandbox (eewwww) but more several feet behind one of the play structures, in the corner, where it is dirt/sand and not the ground covering that they have elsewhere on the playground.@mamimami: I am by no means outraged, nor do I think I"m getting my panties in a bunch. It was more, I saw this happening, and wanted to get another perspective on it to see if I was in line with my way of thinking (that it's gross) or totally off base. I'm not saying I"ll publiclly shame the parents or avoid the playground. But I do think it's disrespectful--performing a private BODILY function in a public space used by children, in an area that MY child will likely cross and play in. Sorry if that rubs me the wrong way. Not to mention, our water has been filtered and cleaned, so don't really get your argument. Plus, you said it yourself--you wouldn't let your kids do it in a playground. Is it gross if it happens on the sidewalk? Yeah a little, but at least no one is going to be sitting on that patch of ground, putting their hands there and digging around.
@Shizaz: ha Ithought of that too.
@lamariniere: I guess it depends on how old the kid is...I think at a certain point (and of course take this with a grain of salt, we're not there yet!) there comes a point where there are consequences--if I let LO have an accident, maybe next time he would remember and say, "Ok I'll try to go before we leave school even if I don't really have to". BUT anyway, your example is not even close to this situation--like I said, I think peeing outside generally (like on teh sidewalk) is not GREAT (I"m sure you weren't thrilled about it), but no where near peeing in a place where kids play.
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I do think it's a bit odd that the kids are peeing on the playground but I also know that when my little one needs to go I have about 10 seconds to get his pants down so we have watered lots of trees and bushes. I think it's kind of not a big deal and anyone that has gone through potty training at one time or another realizes that.
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@hilsy85: we are definitely in agreement with the point of your post
. I just made my last comment as a point to illustrate that sometimes you just don't have a choice, or the choice is to pick the lesser of the two evils (accident when you don't have a change of clothes and aren't close to home vs. public urination). I'm kind of surprised that so many people seem completely horrified by a kid peeing in public. Obviously, it's not ideal, but it's also not the end of the world and sometimes you just don't have a choice.
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@lamariniere: for me, it's totally NOT the public aspect-- I get that sometimes that's necessary!
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Wow, I can't believe this actually happens! I mean, I get it if you have a young toddler who cannot hold it and there is no restroom within a close walk, but at the very least, I would have them do it in a secluded area away from where kids are actually playing. It is beyond gross to just have them go right in the play area.
Aside from the gross factor, I think what bothers me in addition to that is the fact that there are serious creeps out there, and to publicly have your young child expose themselves in public doesn't sit well with me. You really never know who is around, esp in a crowded area.
. I just made my last comment as a point to illustrate that sometimes you just don't have a choice, or the choice is to pick the lesser of the two evils (accident when you don't have a change of clothes and aren't close to home vs. public urination). I'm kind of surprised that so many people seem completely horrified by a kid peeing in public. Obviously, it's not ideal, but it's also not the end of the world and sometimes you just don't have a choice.
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