LO has been in school since the beginning of September and still cries at drop off. At pick up though she's super happy, had a great day and loved it. I have no idea why she does this every time but it's a little frustrating because I have to wait for a teacher to get a free hand to pry her off of me. Does anyone else have a LO that does this? Any tips? I feel like I've tried it all.
-
How long has she been going? About a month? I think that's still in the realm of "normal" considering she was home with you before.
What have you or preschool tried? Is it any different if DH does drop off?
-
Have you tried giving her a job, like bringing a sticker to the teacher, watering a plant, etc to take the focus off the drop off?
Not to be a pessimist, but some kids never get over it.
-
Yes. My LO has been going to school 3-4 days/week for a year and still cries at drop off 75% of the time. I feel like I have tried everything! I typed and printed a book about his morning routine that is filled with photos of him having fun at school. We read that every morning. No dice. I have tried to bribe him with a helium balloon ("I'll get you a balloon if you don't cry at school this morning..."), and we've watched the Daniel Tiger episode about going to school. He knows that he loves school but he just gets sad separating from mom or dad. It's the worst. No advice, just commiseration. I hope they both grow out of it soon!
(And I'll be following the thread for tips!)
-
@regberadaisy: this is her 6th week. DH can't do drop offs
we've tried leaving right away, bringing her in first, bringing her in last, staying for an extra hug/kiss, bribes, distractions. @looch: yep, tried that today even...she immediately just clings. @QueensBee: oh man, I'm sorry! I'm glad someone can relate though!
-
Don't lose hope! 2-8 weeks is the normal adjustment window. It could still stop.
-
Could a teacher intervene? One of DD's friends at preschool clings to her mom and cries, but things go well if one of the teachers greets her and guides her to the group right away. This helps with leg clinging and any lingering from the parent.
Sorry she is still upset at dropoffs! We went through this too..
-
@Bao: how quickly does she calm down after you leave? Not the same I know, but my LO cries every single time DH takes her to bed for the last 6 weeks. Used to be fine with it but now its like a BIG DEAL for him to take her away from me. But as soon as I'm out of sight, she calms within like 5 min max (usually less) so... I sort of don't care? I mean, I DO care. I don't want her to be unhappy. But also she calms down quickly and I know she is being cared for and her learning to be separated from me sometimes is important so it's sort of like... alright whatever.
-
Im sorry, drop off is so hard when they cry. My lo cried for 4 straight weeks at drop off. Then she clung to me for about 6 months. Seriously. I'll take the clinging over the crying. But now she finally goes in happily with a wave goodbye. She just stopped clinging recently.
-
No tips. We just had baby 2 so I haven't done drop off in a week and she was barely not crying the last time I did it. I was a crier according to my mom. I think the main thing is if she's getting to a point where she's not crying beyond drop off it'll be ok. The one thing we did consistently is bring her to a teacher who is more about distracting her with activity than focusing on how sad she is, and making drop off quick and being positive about leaving her, so she would get the memo that we are confident about our choice to leave her there. It is so stressful though, sending hugs and well wishes your way!
-
Unfortunately, this is totally normal, especially for LO's only going part time. It takes a long time to make a couple days a week the "routine". It's hard for plenty of littles who go every day (including mine, for any transition to a new room).
Developing a routine is what helped us most. We do the same stuff, in the same order, every single day. Another thing that helped my LO with the last room transition was giving her a bracelet with a charm on it. I convinced her that when she rubs the charm and thinks of me, I feel it in my heart and think about her too - and that's like I am with her, even when she misses me. this was incredibly (and surprisingly!) effective. But really, developing a routine has been the key. Ours is 3 hugs, 3 kisses and a push out the door.
-
@Mae: her teacher says its within minutes!
-
@yoursilverlining: what a cute idea, I may try something similar. I ask her why she cries and she says because she wants me...so that may help!
-
DD cries almost every day in her new room but I distract her with breakfast and then run out and they tell me she's fine within a few minutes.
I hate to just split on her but if I have to stay longer than I need to I'm late for work.
-
My LO has been going full time for 2 years and still cries every day at drop off and needs to be pried off of me. He stops in a couple minutes and has a great time the rest of the day. He just struggles with transitions.
-
@Bao: I agree with @yoursilverlining. My DD had this problem her first two years at her preschool when she went two and three days a week. Now that she goes 4 days a week, I think the routine is a lot easier for her. So it will probably get better with time.
Another thing that her teacher recommended is to do your goodbye hugs and kisses in or at your car to make the actual dropoff easier. We have done this too and I have found it to be helpful.
-
@Pancakes: I like that idea too!
There is this other little girl that cries, pretty loud and obnoxiously and I think she feeds off that.
-
My LO has phases where he cries, even after no tears for a while and it initially took awhile to adjust.
The thing is, I have a problem leaving him crying. I just can't do it. I will give him 10 extra hugs and be late for work if that's what it takes. So what worked for me was budgeting extra time in the morning for drop off. The times I've had to leave him crying regardless of how much time I have is because some days no matter how many hugs I give, he is going to cry and those are the days that staying longer probably made it worse. But I've had many experiences of good happy drop offs after staying longer to help him transition so it's a bit of a gamble. Then there are times when drop off literally takes 10 seconds and I leave wishing I got more hugs!
I'm not sure if that helps, but I guess my "tip" of what works for me was being prepared to stay 5-15 mins depending on the days.
-
Oh and another thing I do is when the teacher is too busy or I'm waiting for the teacher to not be busy is i'll do what I can to distract or find him a toy/activity so that he has something he wants to do rather than have me stay. I'll start playing with him too but tell him the whole time it's just for a few mins and then I have to go to work. I also remind who is going to be pick him up and all the things he will do in preschool that day and what we will do when we get home etc.
we've tried leaving right away, bringing her in first, bringing her in last, staying for an extra hug/kiss, bribes, distractions. @looch: yep, tried that today even...she immediately just clings. @QueensBee: oh man, I'm sorry! I'm glad someone can relate though!
Reply
Subscribe to our newsletter
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
18 comments