Hellobee Boards

I talked to the nurse this morning. She said basically that the doctor didn't see any immediate cause for concern - the results raise a red flag about a partial molar pregnancy but nothing was mentioned about that in the lab report, which the nurse thought was good. Ultimately though this is something that is outside their expertise. They don't really know if more monitoring or tests are needed, and for that I'll need to wait for the appointment with the genetic specialist in two weeks. The doctor is on vacation, so no opportunity to speak with him. In the meantime, I will just come in for hcg draws, as hcg going up is the red flag that leftover molar tissue could have become cancerous. I'm pretty sure there's not much to worry about on that front at the moment, since AF is still here, and I'm just going to assume that the odds are low.

At this point, I basically throw up my hands and say "I give up." Not give up on having a baby, more like I give up in a good way. Give up any expectations of what TTC looks like, of what it will involve or how long it will take. After being pretty upset about the loss for awhile, it definitely puts it in perspective that some people not only lose their baby but also face very serious health repercussions afterwards. Rather than feeling unlucky for a loss, if we get out of this without the worst case scenario happening, I will feel very lucky for that.

You guys these psuedo-cramps are getting OLD! This is now the third day of them. Feels sort of like right before a period or the third day of my period when the cramps are fading out. But so far no spotting or anything that would suggest AF is here. Sometimes I will get light cramping the day before my period but never 3-4 days before! I also have slightly sore joints which has happened during my period - and usually the day before my period - over the last few years. Apparently that's just a part of getting old.

@periwinklebee: Thinking of you TTC is definitely emotionally draining, so trying to change the mindset is also challenging. We got you, girl!

@bizwitch: I hope it's a good sign! With my BFP, I did have lots of pinching (after the positive test). It was like a very localized cramping, in a specific spot...

@periwinklebee: Totally, I want to be able to embrace that attitude but I'm such a planner and I've already decided that if we're not PG by the end of the year we're applying for foster-to-adopt.

The last time I was able to fully embrace that attitude with something I really wanted was right before I met my husband. I was dating someone who was really bad for me but with whom I was obsessed. When we finally broke up I swore off dating - but with the caveat that if someone was really persistent I would give them a chance. Two days later I met my husband - and he was very persistent! That was seven years ago.

Definitely NOT trying to give the oh-so-helpful "Just relax!" advice. Just sharing a funny anecdote about how sometimes giving up - in a good way - really is the best approach.

@bizwitch: That's a great story about meeting DH!

And truth be told, my "bee friends" are the only ones allowed to tell me to "relax" when it comes to TTC. Everyone else will get a death stare....or the finger.

@madisonbee: LOL!!!

I am GREAT at relaxing CD 1-14...

@bizwitch: No kidding! There should be another term for relaxing that's more TTC appropriate.

On that note, I think I'm doing pretty well this cycle in regards to that. Aside from yesterday's appointment, I'm feeling less stressed, especially not thinking about scheduling when to POAS. I hope this lasts and/or results in a little human.

I feel so ridiculous for being nervous about a follicle scan but here I am. 2 more hours.
Good thing I remembered to shave my legs this morning (but only up to my knee...oops)

@madisonbee: ugh no kidding! that's honestly my main concern!!

@madisonbee: I don't think they go bad if they're stored in the fridge but I'll be sure to ask if they don't see anything.
With how uncomfortable I've been they better see a good follicle. Last night I had quite a bit of pain on my left side and had to sit hunched over with a heating pad

@mrskansas: oh gotcha. Well I hope that pain is amounting to a follicle!

@bizwitch: I took my kid swimming with hairy legs this week! To be fair I overslept and we were meeting a friend, otherwise I would have shaved.

No follicle change change since Tuesday but my lining is over 7mm so that's good. On to the next cycle.

@mrskansas: sorry to hear. Hang in there.

@periwinklebee: all I can say is

@mrsbubbletea: Eep! I keep fantasizing about my BFP... can't help it. And then immediately worrying about a CP or MC.

My husband told me that he is done with treatment and I think Im in the same place. We will probably take a few months off to let my body heal and decide what we want to do

@mrskansas: I'm in the same place I think. I want a day to go by where I'm not thinking about this in any shape or form - and to do that means taking at least a month off... Hugs to you.

@mrskansas: I'm sorry. You've been through a lot, physically and emotionally. I hope you are able to take time during this break to heal.