I was in love with our daycare till about 2 months ago, when LOs favorite teacher left and he has since stopped napping at daycare. He naps at home on the weekends, 3 naps, 2 long naps and one 40 minute. I gave a nap/feeding schedule to our daycare (similar to what we use on the weekend) and he has gone from 0 naps to 2 naps that are 15 minutes long. I'm starting to think that daycare isn't the best option for him. I'd be fine with him not napping but when I pick him up after work, he either sleeps until we put him to bed or screams like crazy unless he's being held. I have a very stressful job and it's about to get more stressful with busy season (i'm in the tax field) and I don't think I can handle this. Did you have an instance where daycare didn't work for your LO and you had to find another route?
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he hasn't napped in 2 months? yikes. if it were me, i'd look into another daycare, a nanny or a nanny share. how are they getting him to sleep?
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Yeah, I think this daycare isn't working for your little one. There may be other options.
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@Mrs. Bee: Nope and everytime I talk to the owner she says my son is too active and it's okay for him not to sleep.
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@littlek: Do they have a nap time where everyone is quiet?
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@Mrsbells: No, it's full lights on all the time. And they've added 4 infants lately so the room is crazy loud.
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@littlek: that's ridiculous. i would start looking for another daycare.
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@littlek: Wow. its strange that one teacher leaving would make that much difference. I guess that teacher knew the secret to get him to nap
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@Mrsbells: I'm not sure what it is.. It's just weird he would go from taking naps to not going down at all... I think the biggest issue is that they seem to think it's okay for him not to sleep
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I'd be more concerned that the owner doesn't feel napping is needed for an infant and isn't working with you to solve the problem. Could they switch LO into another classroom (with a more experienced or better suited teacher)?
Our LO had trouble adjusting to napping at school, but they really worked with her when we explained she was cranky and over tired when she was at home. We talked a lot about her current schedule and what her teachers could do to improve her naps at school. She doesn't nap as long as I'd like at school, but its a lot better than it was.
Good luck finding a solution. It sounds like the best thing might be for you to find alternative arrangements at least until busy season is over.
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If they're not willing to work with you, I would definitely start looking for a different daycare. When Wagon Jr. turned 3 he started resisting naps, but after a week of meltdowns at night we started workign with the teachers. He's only missed one nap since then!!
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I'd look for another daycare but in the meantime find out if anything has changed in the room, aside from the teacher leaving. We found that DD went through a period of very short naps or no naps. We investigated and found out they rearranged the cribs so hers was close to the door and rather than nap she wanted to keep watch and see what was going on in the main room. We talked with the teachers, they moved her to one of the more secluded cribs and the problem improved.
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@purrpletulips: I've asked them to move his crib and they haven't done it. I'm going to ask again today. He's right near the door. However, he's always had this crib, maybe now that he's older he's more interested in the comings and goings than before???
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@littleK-don't recall how old you LO is but it could be an age related thing. DS is 4m and we are starting into that I want to watch what is going on around me regardless of what else I'm doing (such as nursing).
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I think the owner being ok with an infant not napping is a big problem. Babies need enough sleep for their minds and bodies to grow.
It seems like their setup is really unhealthy for a LO-lights on all the time, no actual rest time (I have a 10 YO and 4 YO and they have both gone to daycare at least part time and EVERY daycare they have gone to has at least had a "rest time". They don't have to sleep, but the lights are down and they have to rest quietly.)
I would talk to to her again and let her know that you are starting to think it might not be a good fit. I would start looking for a new place if they are willing to change the way they are handling this,
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Have you thought about a nanny? He might like napping at home better, too.
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Yeah, yikes, I'm shocked that anyone running a daycare would think infants don't need to sleep. Some sleep less than others, sure, but babies need naps! I know the pain of having a poor napper at daycare, my LO takes three or four 15 to 30 min naps at daycare but will take longer naps at home on the weekend, but our daycare provider is always working with us to figure out how we can improve this, she just suggested this morning we send in a lovey for her to have in her crib. I'd be looking for another daycare or nanny/nanny share in your shoes.
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@littlek: that's horrible. Look for a new daycare immediately. I'm so sorry that is happening. No daycare director should ever say that to someone with a lo your baby's age!!!
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Even the daycare center I looked at had nap times for babies! The lights get low and they take naps.
I'd find a new one. You can also try an in-home daycare if a nanny is too expensive
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How old is LO? What is the age range in the classroom? Our first daycare which LO attended until she was a year had all infants in the same room 6wks - 13 months. They did not put all the infants on the same schedule so there was not a lights out quiet time. Around the time LO was really crawling, napping really suffered. She went from napping 3+ hours a day at daycare to less than an hour total.
When we changed daycares, the new one has a split infant room (she was in the older half) where they established a definite schedule. Everyone ate and slept at the same times. They didn't do lights out through.
Now that she's in a toddler room (started at about 15 months), they have lights out quiet time for their nap. When we made the change to the new daycare, the older infants all were about a year old. They were all transitioned to one nap after lunch that was 2-3 hours long.
Also, we found that LO couldn't nap near certain other kids. Too much interaction between cribs and not enough sleeping. I belive LO ended up in a crib in the corner most of the time with no one around her.
Also, does your LO have a comfort item (a lovey and pacifier)? Our LO sleeps much better if she has some object that she can cuddle with. She's not particular about what it is as long as she has something.
I would suggest the following:
1) request a crib move.
2) request that your LO be put in the crib at specific times (after 2 hours of awake time for example)
3) request that even if LO doesn't fall asleep that they don't remove from the crib for a certain amount of time. Our LO sometimes babbles herself to sleep. -
@MamaG: Did your LOs naps improve with the split infant rooms? There is a daycare near us that has 3 infant rooms and I wonder if that wouldn't help him. His current daycare has babies from 8 weeks - 10 months old. I have requested a crib move (they haven't done it yet), and I've done 2 and 3 and that is how he is now napping 15 minutes as opposed to the 0 before. LO doesn't take a pacifier but we brought in a white noise machine and his lovey. LO is 7 months old.
@blackbird: I originally didn't want to go the nanny route because my friend had a nanny and her LO did not get enough socialization and got very bad stranger anxiety. But we are looking into it as an option now.
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@littlek: I can't wrap my head around how they expect a 6m old to nap with lights on and noise. Obviously he is at an age where he would rather skip nap and look around his surroundings, curiously.
I can see why you would be against a nanny...but maybe just do it for the next 6-12m until your son's nap schedule is down-packed and until his naps are down to 1 a day. He will still be young enough to be able to adapt well when reintroduced to daycare.
Or find a daycare that has a nap time. When I worked (Montessori) we had a lights off, calming music, blanket time. They weren't forced to sleep but they couldn't talk and had to lay. Every single kid slept though, even the most "active". How could they resist?
Eta: how can a 6m old be too active? Anyone who knows even the least but about infants knows that he needs a nap:) I don't envy your dealing with his evening fussiness-poor you & poor baby!
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I would look into a nanny or nanny share, since he sleeps well at home but not at daycare.
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Sigh. My son was a 30 minute napper when he started daycare and has since become a much better napper - one long nap a day. Now, lights are on for the morning nap (and he does not nap long) but it's pitch dark from 1-3 so that's when he takes his longer nap. It's not perfect and he has longer awake periods there (and only 2 naps) but he's napping. If I felt like my daycare did not think naps or sleep were a priority (or if I felt like they didn't work with me/try to follow my intrusctions), I'd yank him. My daycare hasn't been perfect but each and every time I raise a concern (mostly relating to naps) they listen, we discuss, and come to an agreement and work on it. Nannies are super expensive in Boston, but if T was literally not taking a nap all day and if our daycare was not even trying, I'd pull him and spend the money on a nanny.
Also, given that you're just about to enter tax season, maybe a nanny woudl be a better fit for your schedule for the time being. And maybe after tax season you could find a daycare center with dedicated nap times?
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@littlek: What did you decide to do?
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We are working with them to see if he will nap longer. DH said I can do whatever I want eventhough he really wants LO to stay in this daycare. He is against the idea of a nanny unless we do a nanny plus daycare and that just seems crazy. He has been napping better at daycare, but still not great. He is doing a 45 min nap and then a 30 minute nap. I was home with him yesterday and he took a 1 hour nap and then a 4 hour nap. So long story short, we will probably keep him at daycare and pick up an exhuasted baby. I think he will be switched to the young toddlers room in a few months and they all nap at the same time so that will help him.
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@littlek: 4 hours!? That's a monster nap. My son never makes up for lost time when he has a poor night's sleep or bad napping day. Makes me wonder if he's sleep deprived.
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@winniebee: I know! He normally only naps 1.5 - 2 hours in the afternoon. I told DH and he was like "I hope you keep checking on him to make sure he's breathing." I think I checked on him 20 times. He has started sleeping on his tummy and he gets his lovey near his face.
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