DS had his first session settling in at daycare today and it did not go well. He started howling soon after I left the room and the staff couldn't settle him. We're going back every day this week so fingers crossed it gets better.
Anyone have a rough start to daycare? Please tell me it gets better 
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts
Oh no, internet hugs your way. How old is LO? We started at 13 weeks and she adjusted fairly well, I think she was young enough to not notice. I hope it gets easier on both baby and mommy!
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
Oh no! Good luck trying again! How old is your son? The daycare workers at my place tell me that the older they are when you drop them off, the harder time they have adjusting. I am sure it will get better
apricot / 475 posts
Thanks ladies. DS is 8.5 months so he definitely knows I'm leaving him. I'll try to keep my cool but I'm already worried, really hoping he does better tomorrow.
GOLD / eggplant / 11517 posts
Aw, so sorry it was hard! Can he be distracted with toys/playing and you can maybe slip out without him noticing?
pomegranate / 3225 posts
oh my gosh. That must have been awful. My LO is in daycare only 2 days a week, but it's still really hard!
coconut / 8861 posts
It does it get better. It just takes time. When LO's sleep was messed up, he knew that he could sleep there and look forward to boob at home. He still doesn't do a lot of developmental things there that he does at home or does them later for them. Over time, he's gotten more comfortable with them at 4 months or so daycare.
apricot / 475 posts
Thanks for the kind words, tomorrow I'll try to stay a little longer before slipping out and make sure he's happy and playing. I'm hoping he'll not be in tears by the end of week. Or I will be!
eggplant / 11824 posts
Does he have a favorite toy/lovey/small blanket that he could bring to daycare, either for playing with, or for snuggling with for naps? That might help him feel comfortable and more confident at daycare. Good luck!!
ETA: at our daycare, each child has a little mural type thing with a couple pictures of themselves and mom/dad/family. When the LO's get upset, the teachers can show them the pictures, which is suppose to sometimes help distract them! Maybe your daycare does the same?
GOLD / squash / 13464 posts
After a few days he'll learn that when you drop him off there you DO come back and pick him up... and things will get much easier from there.
coconut / 8299 posts
It'll get better! Literally every single one of my friends have experienced the same thing. All of their babies/toddlers cried at least for a few days when they were first started daycare/preschool. I know of maybe ONE friend who said her daughter didn't cry. And now...all of them love daycare! My son was 2 when we first took him to daycare and he was bawling his eyes out the first few days. Now he can't wait to go! Hang in there, mama! It's hard but it'll get better!
nectarine / 2667 posts
LO is only 5 months, so he barely notices I'm gone, but I worked in daycares for a while. It will get better with time. I've only ever had one child who was inconsolable for weeks on end & he was a 4 & 1/2 year old boy who had never spent a day (literally!) away from his mother in his life.
Sending good vibes your way that he will adjust sooner than later!
apricot / 475 posts
@yoursilverlining: good suggestions, thank you. The only thing LO seems to be attached to is a plastic spoon he's constantly chewing on, I think he uses it as a teether but I'll bring it tomorrow
apricot / 475 posts
Thank you everyone, I really did need to hear it gets better. Once DS understands a new routine he usually settles in very well but the first few days we change eg his bed time routine he objects loudly and clearly, let's hope things get better over the next few days as he learns I will come back for him.
apricot / 475 posts
So today was day 2 and it was still rough, yesterday there was howling and tears, today there was just howling and no tears so a small improvement I guess. Let's see how tomorrow goes...
blogger / watermelon / 14218 posts
@London Mama: no tears is huge!!! That's great. I'm sure it will only get better and better. They do go through stages of clinginess but most mornings Wagon Jr. RUNS through the doors and barely looks back to wave bye to me. One mom told me that her daughter cried every morning for the first year, but after the first week or so the teachers told her that her daughter would stop crying as soon as her mom was out of sight. So sometimes they're just doing it to show us how much they love us and want us to stick around, but really, without us they are just fine 
coconut / 8299 posts
@London Mama: That's a big improvement! The first day, my son BAWLED his eyes out for 20 minutes straight. The second day was 10 minutes and then by the third day, he only cried for a few minutes at drop off. Now, he runs in there waving "bye!" to us.
GOLD / pineapple / 12662 posts
@mrs. wagon: "So sometimes they're just doing it to show us how much they love us and want us to stick around . . ." So good to know!
apricot / 475 posts
@mrs. wagon: @banana: thank you! I have been feeling really stressed and down about this and reading your words is a huge help. Logically I know it is normal for babies to need some time to settle in but emotionally I just want to pick DS up, resign my job and hold him in my arms until he turns 21!
grapefruit / 4110 posts
@London Mama: my kid took 2 months to adjust to preschool twice a week. He cried every single day I dropped him off. Now he happily (most of the time) goes and loves it.
apricot / 475 posts
@brownie: did it bother you that he was upset when you dropped him off? I'm finding it hard to deal with DS being so upset and feel like I'm letting him down, I need to toughen up a bit and remind myself that it'll be just fine.
GOLD / papaya / 10166 posts
@London Mama: sounds pke he's making huge improvements! Just a question... When you drop him off, do you feel yourself getting stressed as you walk to the classroom, dreading the howling? If so, he might still be picking up on that. I always have to stay super cheerful and excited when I talk to her and drop her off. I think it helps to show her it's a good place, not just mommy leaving her.
grapefruit / 4110 posts
@London Mama: it was the hardest thing ever. But there weren't other options and he wasn't being hurt or anything. I just tried and tried to find something that worked. For him it was twofold. First I had to drop him off at breakfast because food distracts him. Second they got a new teacher who was very consistent and he attached to her.
apricot / 475 posts
@BabyBoecksMom: I do feel stressed and nervous, and i start dreading it before we even leave the house, so he probably does pick up on that. I'll try to stay super cheerful today.
apricot / 475 posts
Update on day 3: DS did much better yesterday and was able to stay on his own without the staff getting me. He still cried but it was much less, and when he saw me at the end of the session he didn't throw himself in his arms but seemed a little bit happier. Fingers crossed the improvements continue today.
I feel like a nervous wreck, I had no idea nursery would be this hard! Logically and intellectually I know it's perfectly normal for DS to cry but emotionally it's so hard to fight back the motherly instinct of running to the rescue of your unhappy baby.
Thanks again for your support, it's been a huge help.
apricot / 475 posts
Quick update on yesterday's session: things finally turned a corner on day 4 and DS seemed to start to settle in, there was some crying but not as much as the other days and he seemed happier.
We have a three day break now over the weekend so fingers crossed we can pick up where we left off on Monday.
blogger / watermelon / 14218 posts
Sounds like he is doing great!!! The time at home this weekend will really help, and undoubtedly the first morning back will be tough, but it will only get better and better.
squash / 13199 posts
@London Mama: How old is your LO?
My daughter was 12 weeks when she started. she cried her head off the first day and it was really hard but it truly does get better, children adapt so fast.
apricot / 475 posts
@Mrsbells: he's 8.5 months so he is old enough to know I'm leaving him with strangers
apricot / 475 posts
Thought I'd give a quick update, DS has now been going to daycare about 5 weeks, he goes 3 days a week from about 8am to 1-3pm depending on when MIL can pick up. On the whole things are going well, DS still cries when I drop him off but he usually stops as soon as I leave. He seems happy enough at nursery and naps and eats well there.
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