When I read about how to say goodbye with day care, it said not to prolong it or sneak out. I work in home and my child stays here with a nanny. So essentially, I'm just leaving the room. I say goodbye once in the AM when nanny arrives, and once after I BF her after her nap. What I have been doing is saying "goodbye, mommy loves you, i'll be back to play later", give her a kiss, then set her playing with a toy facing away from me, then leaving. Now she's almost 1 so I'm not sure she really understands that I'm saying goodbye. Is this still sneaking out? Do I need to have her face me and watch me walk out of the room? (Obviously this would cause crying, current approach does not usually.) She does seem to be getting some separation anxiety? I don't know if it's just related to her age, or b/c of the way I'm "dropping her off". when she's with me in the afternoon, she's very clingy - which is fine - but I don't know if it's because she missed me or b/c she's stressed out thinking I'm going to leave. Thoughts?
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I've never heard that you're not supposed to sneak out... I probably do that 50% of the time when I drop off DD because I don't want her to cry.
Maybe I should do some reading on this! -
I guess it depends on the kid but I could never sneak out - my kids would freak if they turned around and I wasn't there.
One day I dropped off the kids and usually kiss them and say goodbye - DD always says bye and is super happy - well one day I dropped her off and then forgot to get a spoon so I ran to the kitchen - when I got back 15 secs later DD was in full blown tears - the teacher said she was looking for me and freaked! So yes, always say goodbye.
What you are doing is perfect even if you aren't sure she totally understand you =)
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LO started daycare a few weeks ago and I just give her a kiss and say goodbye. I think sneaking out would be harder in the long run. She is also going through separation anxiety right now and cries/clings to me during drop off which is heartbreaking, but I feel like she will adjust to it and would deal better with knowing I am leaving and not sneaking out.
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Every kid is different. My son needs a lot of transition time. When he gets that, he is very successful at letting me leave (almost kicks me out the door). So the drop off and let leave does not work for us. I think your technique works. You have a ritual and even though she doesn't see you leave, you are gone and you come back. Sneaking off is tricking them (not saying good bye, not having a routine, waiting for them not to look and sneaking) and you aren't doing that.
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