We used a nanny when LO was 0-1 years old, then we went to daycare.

After our nanny stopped working with us, she would call us every few weeks to ask if she could come see LO because she missed him dearly. I let her come for 2 times. After I didn't return her call for a few times and replied by email, our communication went to email-based. She still emailed us from time to time, gave us a set date (eg. Sunday for lunch), which I turned them down mostly.... we just have our own plans and it is a pain to have to rearrange just to see her....!

She is great with my son, but overall I wasn't extremely happy with her in terms of a working relationship. I guess it would have been different if I truly loved her. I would have gone through hoops to arrange to let her see my son, but no I wasn't happy with her while she worked with us.

At one point, I felt resentful.... I just felt that I owe her something and I didn't understand why do I still have to have her see my son after we have stopped working with her.... it's like we divorced and I owe her visitation rights.

Recently she got in touch with us again. We had to go out of town so I told her to get back in touch in 2-3 weeks. She just did and asked to do a playdate on Sunday. So I thought, once and for all, I replied with an email trying to set an expectation ( I said moving forward, we are ok if she comes by to see LO afterschool on weekdays, but weekends are very difficult for us). I will see if I can include the email in a gold-only post and see what you guys think.

But anyway, she replied saying she is at a loss for words. She felt that I was making her feel like she had done something wrong simply because she wanted to see LO. So now she said she will never bother us anymore and we will never hear from her ever again.

I feel like those evil employers from the movie "The Help". Sigh.

So, my question is, am I supposed to keep a long-term relationship with ex-nannies because they miss my son...? I have never hired a nanny before so I do not know the etiquette. What was your experience?