I always thought that the most important time to be a SAHM is before your LO goes to school. They are the most fragile and dependent at that time, and it's just human biology to want to attend to the every need of your infant/toddler. It's also when you have the most time with them. If you stay at home when your LO is in school, they are away from you most of the day anyway. Sure, if you work full time you probably get off work later than they get out of school, but its just a few hours, rather than a full day.

I've recently started to change my tune, however. I sit between two moms at work - one with an infant and one with a 12 year old. I think the mom of the infant has a lot to deal with - her LO has already been sick in one month of being back, she has to pump, and of course an infant is just very exhausting emotionally and physically. But I think the mom of the 12 year old has it harder. He's a latchkey kid - gets home at about 3pm and spends 3 hours alone until she gets home at 6pm. She has to arrange for people to take him to soccer practice, make sure he is doing his homework over the phone, worry about him being home alone, etc.

All that to say, I almost think when you have a little baby, it doesn't make a HUGE difference if they are in daycare because they won't remember it! And their activities are obviously more limited. But once your kids are school aged and have so many things going on, it has to be really challenging to work full-time and miss out. Not to mention that the teen years are a critical time and I would worry about my child being unsupervised or not having enough time to guide them and connect with them. I really took for granted that my mom (SAHM) was there every day when we got home from school, and never missed an extracurricular activity.

What say you?