Hellobee Boards

@Mae: When your child is born, report back to me please about dropping off to a random center that you've never used before. I am curious how that is going to go for you.

Seriously, people. I want to know which ones of you would use a drop in center you've never visited before.

@looch: Rather than leave my kid alone in a hot car for an hour in direct sunlight?? Unless I lose all common sense when my water breaks, I can't imagine my answer on this is changing.

I have zero sympathy for anyone who leaves a human or pet in a hot car.

Leaving them in the crib at home for an hour would've been a safer option.

@looch, i would, if i was desperate for someone to watch my kid for only one hour and the alternate was no one and/or leaving them in a car

@looch: If it was my only option, I would definitely do it. I'm not going to leave my kids to potentially die in the hot sun. If those are my only two options, surely the daycare is the safer, more responsible choice.

There isn't anything else we can do to help this woman except offer a free place to drop off her kids. If her situation is this desperate I think she needs to take what she can get. If this free daycare service is available to her, there is no excuse for her leaving her children in her car.

@MsLipGloss: But we're not talking about normal circumstances here. We're talking about things someone desperate for childcare could do that would be preferable to leaving your babies alone in a hot car. Saying it's just a question about using an unfamiliar center completely disregards what the entire thread is about.

@wonderstruck:I was just pointing out that you were making an assumption/drawing a conclusion from a question.

@looch: I would also choose day care center over leaving them in the car--free, supervised care, as opposed to illegal, unsafe situation? No brainer. I'd rather have my kid hysterically crying in a daycare for an hour than leave him in a hot car.

That being said, I don't know this woman's history or background, so maybe for her own reasons she didn't feel comfortable with it. I know when I worked with mentally ill people living in poverty (not that she is mentally ill, it's just the population I had experience with), many of them were reluctant to use services that were available to them, either because they didn't like having their business aired out in public or the effort to engage in these services seemed to be too much. In this situation though, when it's between overcoming those things or putting your kids in danger, I don't think it's a tough choice (for me). I can have sympathy for her, but also think that what she did was wrong.

I am just asking if you'd use a center you'd never used before, not whether you'd use a car as a day care center.

Even if YOU as a parent would, what if your kid screams so badly the entire time, that they call you back to get him? I am guessing none of you have experienced this? I have, and it's not pretty!

In any event, I'd take my kids into the interview with me as an alternative. As a mother myself, I'd totally respect someone who did that. I might not offer them the job, but that's using your brain.

While she made a very unfortunate, dangerous decision that I personally do not agree with, I feel horrible for this woman. It is clear she feels the same.

I think most of us exist somewhere on the very large spectrum of "comfortable" - we can either stay home with our children, utilize familiar and preferred daycare/backup sitters, or coordinate with a partner/coparent, so we may keep crucial appointments. I personally wouldn't feel comfortable leaving my daughter at a drop-in service. Then again, it's not likely a choice I'd have to make.

I'm hesitant to pass judgement. Yes, she put her children in grave danger, but I'm willing to bet it was a poor, snap decision made in hopes of creating a better life for her family.

@deerylou: This.

@wonderstruck: because you put the internet equivalent of words in my mouth.

It's just not that simple to say, oh here's free daycare, I am going to use that! It might not work out and just because this woman is in the situation that she's in doesn't mean she's got to use options she might not feel comfortable with. Have you tried a drop off center? Do you have first hand experience with that?

@looch: "Just because this woman is in the situation that she's in doesn't mean she's got to use options she might not feel comfortable with."

I'm sorry, it does. If she literally tried everything else and had no other place to leave her kids for 2 hours, then her only options were leaving them at this daycare or taking them in to the interview with her. Leaving her young babies alone, unattended, in a hot car for over an hour is not a valid option.

Also, what else can be done? If even free childcare isn't help enough I'm not sure what else we can do.

I do feel badly for this woman if this was truly her absolutely only option and she was that desperate. However, according to the other article the 6 month-old was wearing two T-shirts, one w/long sleeves, and was covered with a blanket. The temperature was 88 and she parked in direct sunlight. The driver's door was UNLOCKED and they found the keys in the ignition. A normal person does not do this!!! Absolutely no common sense was used whatsoever. If she felt like leaving her kids in the car was the ONLY option, for F's sake don't cover your baby with a blanket and put him in long sleeves and park in the sun!!!! And with her keys in the ignition, someone could have easily drove off with her kids and she could have never seen them again. I DO think her kids should be taken from her until she is able to take care of them. Something way worse could have happened.

@looch: I would have no option using a drop in center if I had no family or anything else near by, and I had a 1 hour job interview.

@lawbee11: agreed - her mug shot is devestating.

I would never do that - but that's easy for me to say as someone with the financial means to provide for my child, valid childcare options and emotional support from my husband, parents , sisters, friends, etc.

@NovBaby1112: Oh, wow. So it sounds like there are bigger problems at play here. Honestly, I think she should probably be screened to see if there's any sort of mental illness going on, in which case obviously she's going to need some assistance to get that under control to properly care for her children.

I have tried a drop off center. My son cried the entire time and they called me to come and get him because they couldn't care for the other children with his screaming. I think they were worried he was going to stop breathing.

I wouldn't leave him in the car, I would take him with me if I had no other options. I have already written that above, @littlebug.

I feel awful for her. It seems like she was in a desperate situation. She looks devastated. I can't say what I would do in the same situation, because I doubt I'd ever be in the same situation.

Whilst I definitely don't condone this mother's actions perhaps rather than crucifying this poor woman we should be using this incident as an opportunity to improve her circumstances and the support networks in place for others in a similar situation!

I'm also willing to bet the very few of us here on HB have ever been in a situation that would warrant us making such a decision...

We've all made poor decisions in our lives and like my Grandmother always said - there but for the grace of God, go I!

@lawbee11: Wow, that's sort of surprising! Hopefully she can use part of that money to take some parenting safety classes or counseling or something, and obviously buy her some help and time to get a job and child care and get on her feet.

I can't believe that much money was raised.