Just got news of miscarriage #3. This is the second one in a row, the first was before my beautiful daughter.
I'm just not sure how to move on from this and keep TTC. I want to give DD a sibling so desperately but I'm not sure how much more of this I could take.
cantaloupe / 6634 posts
@sslm: I'm so sorry. I had two losses in a row and totally understand. I guess, once the initial shock wore off, I figured the only thing scarier than trying again was not trying at all. Give your heart time to heal.
cantaloupe / 6885 posts
I am so, so sorry that you are having to go through this
grapefruit / 4321 posts
I'm so sorry. Have you had any diagnostic testing yet? I'm thinking that's probably the best step. Finding out a possible cause and a plan for addressing it will hopefully give you some comfort to TTC again with more confidence. I'm hoping you get some answers!
pomelo / 5228 posts
So sorry I went in for lots of testing and eventually ended up on Lovenox. Pm me if you want more details. There was another thread recently with lots of good info too.
wonderful clementine / 24134 posts
So very sorry. I was honest with my OB that I needed a "plan". I needed to feel like I was doing something and if that something didn't work that he had next steps we could take.
squash / 13764 posts
I am so so sorry personally I was ready to see an RE for testing after m/c #1, so I would definitely be seeking a specialist opinion at this point.
hostess / papaya / 10219 posts
I'm sorry. I had two in a row and I definitely needed a few months to feel ready again. I took Ova-boost and got healthy. Went on a healthy diet and took care of myself. After 3 months I felt ready and healthy to try again.
cantaloupe / 6397 posts
@Truth Bombs: I did CD21 bloodwork this cycle before finding out I was pregnant. All of my numbers apparently looked really good. I'm not sure what other tests to ask for?
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
I am so sorry for your loss.
A friend had three loses. They went to see a RE. They found out that her blood was clotting and the blood wasn't getting to the babies. She started on blood thinners and had a successful pregnancy. She is now expecting #2. I would see if a RE and have them do a full cycle of testing to see what could be causing the issues.
wonderful olive / 19353 posts
I'm so, so sorry you're going through this, back-to-back none the less. Hoping 3rd time is the charm for you. Lots and lots of hugs
wonderful grape / 20453 posts
I'm so sorry you're in this situation. It sucks really bad Research tends to indicate that there is something more than likely going on if you've had two in a row. Ask for karyotyping and check for blood clotting disorders. Everything looked fine in my pregnancies...until it wasn't. It's common for a blood clotting issue to show like that (probably other things, too, but that's just my experience). If there's an answer, it can often be treated and that helps peace of mind SIGNIFICANTLY. For me, i wanted to know what was wrong. And i felt like if that could be fixed, it would all be ok.
pomelo / 5607 posts
I'm so sorry that you're going through this. For me, all the testing (checking for blood clotting disorders and karyotyping to check for common genetic issues) showed nothing wrong, so I told myself it was bad luck, and surely now the odds were in our favor. For me, I needed to keep trying as a way to move forward and not wallow in sadness from the losses. Since I Saw no reason to think anything bad would happen again, based on testing, I was able to mostly be calm. I freaked the eff out before ultrasounds, but otherwise I basically just lived in the moment. Right then I was pregnant with a healthy baby, and that was what I had to focus on. Now that I know I probably do have a genetic condition that caused it all, I could never TTC again. I'm very grateful that we got our rainbow baby before we found out (though it might have been nice to know I was at risk for preterm labor so they would have taken me seriously on that). (Also, had it been something treatable I would have felt different about it, but as far as I know it's not. At best we could have done IVF with pre-implantation genetic testing, but I'm not sure how much that would have helped, and we couldn't afford it.) Alsovery thankful that we only want one, so it worked out for us. ETA- And please don't hesitate to contact me if you need to talk. What you're going through is incredibly hard, but you're not alone. Hugs.
cantaloupe / 6630 posts
I'm so sorry I would ask for a full work up of testing. I hope your OB can get some answers for you. Hugs.
pineapple / 12793 posts
I'm so sorry you're going through this again.
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
I am so sorry Hugs
grapefruit / 4028 posts
@sslm: i am so sorry, this is a rough place to be. I'm at miscarriage #2, with no children. I'm not sure how to go on either, and I'm here to talk if you ever want to.
pear / 1510 posts
So, so sorry. I agree with PP; quitting may be scarier than pressing on. We had committed to quit after this try, and I was totally scared of that decision.
pomegranate / 3764 posts
@sslm: I'm so sorry this has happened again. Two in a row is quite the kick in the guts, but for us, we'll just keep going. I know in my heart we're not done yet... but when you decide to press on/pause for a bit, that's entirely up to you. We had a full recurrent miscarriage panel done after losing the second pregnancy in a row.. nothing came back as a flag, so we just have to assume that the embryos were no good.
persimmon / 1045 posts
So sorry to hear this, I hope you get more information from your doctors soon. ️
nectarine / 2591 posts
I am so sorry to hear this! I have no advice since we haven't starting ttc again after loss #1 but am thinking of you.
persimmon / 1168 posts
So sorry for your losses.
maybe not the answer for you, but For me, I had to take a mental break from TTC. I did things I knew I couldn't do if I had the baby, like extended travel and going out late with friends. Obviously . Might not be possible if you already have a LO. maybe you all could take a family vacation?
Also, I had to look into the causes of my mcs. Getting those issues resolved gave me hope.
pomelo / 5326 posts
Oh no I am so sorry to see this news
pear / 1703 posts
@sslm: I am so sorry for your losses. It is an incredibly painful and traumatizing thing to be experiencing. I hope you are able to find some comfort in your hubby and also your little one at home. I too, desperately want to give our DD a sibling and following my 2nd MC this past March, I wasn't sure I had the strength to go on and try again. I feared I might never recover emotionally if we were to miscarry again.
The strategy that worked for me was to remember that making a baby is truly and act of nature (egg and sperm must meet and all must carry on as nature intended, whether in a uterus or in a lab) but that I had really made it into an emotional thing, not hard to after all. I was instantly attached to both pregnancies and then of course, completely devastated with both losses. So I had to to remember that making a baby was an act of nature. I pictured a flower. If a flower was trying to pollinate and it wasn't successful, would it just give up? No, that flower would keep trying and trying until it was successful, no matter what and no matter for how long. It may sound corny, but its what worked for me to overcome my fear of loss, maybe to detach from the heavy emotional side of TTC. Here we are 4 months post MC and trying again...
I hope you are able to take the time to heal physically and emotionally. Go easy on yourself for the next little while
pear / 1837 posts
So sorry to hear about your loss(es). I got pregnant (accidentally) 3 months after my second loss, and went straight to doctor for testing. I have a blood clotting disorder and started blood thinners right away. But sometimes life is just shitty, and I'm sorry it's been that way for you. Lots of hugs and ice cream.
pear / 1593 posts
@simplyfelicity: that last sentence is perfect.
I'm so sorry. The unknown is so scary. I've had loss, birth, loss. Really the only thing that's kept me going this time around is that I at least know it's possible to carry a baby term, and I just have to believe it will happen again.
kiwi / 689 posts
@sslm: I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. It's unfair! Please take care of yourself these next few weeks and know we are all here to listen.