I was previously crazy fertile conceiving DS while BC and concieving DD on our first try. I had an aggressive LEEP performed in April and most of my cervix is now gone and I'm already dealing with issues while menstruating because of the scar tissue. I've been advised by 2 seperate OBs to not get pregnant because it would be a very complicated pregnancy and birth. I'm scheduled for a Tubal Ligation in Spring. I'm only 24 and really heartbroken I won't ever experience pregnancy and birth again. My husband is in his 40's and doesn't really get my feelings because in his mind he's to old for more. How do I deal with these emotions? Will the sense of what could have been ever go away?
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No advice, but big hugs.. I can't imagine how you must feel to be going through this at such a young age.
At almost 34 we're 2 and through, but I have moments of sadness that I'll never have another baby too. When I feel this way I remind myself why we decided to stop and I look at the 2 healthy babies I have and the feelings go away. -
I think you should talk to your husband about it. And maybe focus on your current health issues before worrying about a pregnancy.
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@Mrs. Polish: I agree...
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I think it is always natural to wonder what if, especially with something as final as a tubal ligation. It's ok to be a little sad and mourn what will never be but remember to think about what you do have! I can imagine at 24 it is a big door to close but luckily you already have two happy and healthy babies!
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First I would worry about healing up. You can't and shouldn't get pregnant right now anyways. Once you are healed maybe address it again with yours husband.
Also why a tubal? What about something more interim that could be reversed?
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Big hugs, although you might never be pregnant again you are very fortunate to have been pregnant and have 2 children. Many of the women on here are still ttc years later.
Also if you wanted to be a mum again there is always surrogacy or adoption.
Feel better, you are so young to go through something so horrid. -
I'm sorry you're going through this, it just plain sucks.
Even though you have 2 LO's, it must be hard to know that the choice not to have more isn't your own. Its hard to not have control over something that so many other people do have control over. I feel the same way sometimes.
And the fact that your DH can't relate makes it even harder. Again, my DH also doesn't understand why the fact that I can't EVER conceive naturally hurts me so much. So I get how you're feeling - its lonely!
Hoping you are able to find peace, however you can find it. Wall me if you want to talk! -
I echo all of those above who say to focus on getting healthy.
And possibly look into a professional you can talk to about your feelings.
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To previous posters telling her to worry about her health instead of a pregnancy, I don't think that the OP is saying that despite her doctor's suggestion, she wants to try to get pregnant anyway. Nor that she's not focusing on her own health issues.
She's sad that she won't ever be pregnant again, and I think its valid to mourn that. Especially when it was not by choice.
And she's sad that her husband can't relate because he didn't want more anyway, so its not a big deal to him. Not that she wants more and he doesn't. -
I just want to point out that none of us have any control over anything, anything can happen at any time.
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