Ovulation confusion of a new bee...

By MrsKMM Sep 28, 2014

So, these may be silly questions, but I figured I'd ask the pros :wink:

I've been reading about fertility friend on some of these boards, and decided to download the app and check it out. We are not charting, not using opk's or anything, so... I'm kind of confused, I guess. I put in some info, and it says I haven't O yet, but I thought ewcm was a sign of O? I guess my questions are:

How many days after AF do people typically O?
What does cycle day actually mean? (Fertility Friend says I'm on day 12?)
Can you tell when you O?
Is it better to BD before or after O, or does it not matter? (We just BD whenever, but it would be helpful to know when the ideal time is).

We are in between ntnp/ttc (aka, let's just see what happens) so I'm not really into charting and whatnot yet, but would like to learn more about the process...which is much more detailed than I had ever imagined :shocked: I never thought there was so much to it! Any help/insight would be much appreciated. :happy:

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15 comments

hilsy85
squash / 13764 posts

Sep 28, 2014

How many days after AF do people typically O?
- A "Typical" cycle is 28 days, with O on CD14, but there are many many variations to normal.
What does cycle day actually mean? (Fertility Friend says I'm on day 12?)
- so that is the 12th day of your cycle (with CD1 being the first day of AF)
Can you tell when you O?
- I never could pre baby, but post partum I can! I get ovulation cramps.
Is it better to BD before or after O, or does it not matter? (We just BD whenever, but it would be helpful to know when the ideal time is).
- definitely better to BD before O! The 4-5 days before O and including O are the best.

I am by no means an expert, there are many people with more experience than I
Crystal
grapefruit / 4028 posts

Sep 28, 2014

Fertility friend has a free book available for download- I highly encourage you read it! Another is Taking Charge of Your Fertility. Both will explain all of this in great detail, but realize that everyone has their own version of "normal."

Good luck!
Cherrybee
papaya / 10570 posts

Sep 28, 2014

Hey. You've had some great advice - and the FF tutorials are great - so I'm just popping in to say good luck!

For me, I struggled to see any patterns from CM but I found temping really good to confirm O so after just a few months I really understood how my cycles worked!
simplyfelicity
cantaloupe / 6634 posts

Sep 28, 2014

These are not silly questions at all! I would answer them, too but @hilsy85: answered them exactly as I would.
Charting CM is helpful, but I think of it and cervical position and texture as secondary signs. I prefer OPKS (specifically clear blue easy digital) because it takes the guess work out of it entirely. I am all for a chill way to ttc. It worked the first time I used them (but lost pregnancy.)
Also, a great place to get info is to join one of the POAS threads. The one for October is up and running. I have learned so much from being a part of the conversation. Best of luck to you!
MrsKMM
apricot / 263 posts

Sep 28, 2014

Thank you, @Hilsy85, @Crystal, @Cherrybee & @Simplyfelicity! I've tried two different apps to check ovulation dates but they each say different things. One says I already ovulated, and fertility friend says I should between CD 11 & 13, but I'm on CD 12, and haven't ovulated yet. I'm guessing that means tomorrow I will? I'm more inclined to stick to FF, although the app is more involved (& confusing) than the other. I wonder if I should use an OPK just to know... But that leads to a whole new set of questions lol how do you choose one, how does it work, etc. I'll definitely look into the book and the poas boards though
Bluemasonjar
clementine / 920 posts

Sep 28, 2014

I am in the same situation, between ntnp and ttc! We are just getting started and I am using FF as a guide but trying to enjoy this first month and see what happens. Next month I'll start using OPK's if needed. I'm glad to see someone else is at the same stage I am. Good luck
simplyfelicity
cantaloupe / 6634 posts

Sep 28, 2014

@MrsKMM: Honestly, it doesn't matter what the apps say because they just go off an estimation. All the apps do without info from opks or temping is take your average cycle length, subtract the luteal phase (time between ovulation to your period) and give you your ovulation date based off that. They assume that everyone's luteal phase is 14 days long. Its a very stock answer.

The problem with that is that not everyone's luteal phase is 14 days. Some have slightly longer and some shorter. Also, cycle lengths can vary from cycle to cycle. So, even if your typical cycle length is 28 days, that doesn't mean you will ovulate on cycle day 14.
If you want a chill way to ttc, you could always just bd EOD (baby dance every other day) from cycle day 9-16 or so. What is your typical cycle length?
GoGoSnoGirl
pear / 1558 posts

Sep 28, 2014

@MrsKMM: you've gotten good advice from pp's, but I just wanted to add that if you start to monitor more signs & enter them into FF, the predictions/calculations become much more personalized to you. Using a basal body temperature thermometer (bbt) to measure your temp upon waking each morning & opks can give you very accurate dates of ovulation with FF if you enter that data into the app. You can find a bbt in many places (Target, drug stores, etc), but it is important to get that type & not just a standard thermometer, as you'll need to detect just a few tenths to 1 degree changes in your temp. Perhaps this is more effort than you'll want to put in for ntnp, but will be good to know if you want to ramp it up.
MrsKMM
apricot / 263 posts

Sep 28, 2014

@bluemasonjar: Awesome! It's good to know someone in the same boat. We aren't actively ttc, just trying to enjoy ntnp while secretly really wanting a baby lol I guess technically this is our 2nd month of trying, but we bought our first house about 2 months ago so in all honesty, we were exhausted for the first month and didn't get a lot done in that department. Best of luck to you as well!

@Simplyfelicity: Thanks for the information, that is helpful! I know everyone is different. I tend to stay pretty consistently around 28 days, although I'm off by a few days here and there. I have anxiety (weaned myself off low dose meds in the spring, after consulting with dr) so I have been trying to avoid going too crazy by temping and charting, so we've been taking the relaxing route so far haha but that is good advice!

@GoGoSnoGirl: That makes sense. I think because I'm not too involved, I just don't have enough information to put in yet. Thanks for clarifying bbt - I have been reading that and couldn't figure it out. Thinking we might wait a couple more cycles, and then look into that if nothing happens. Thanks so much!!
simplyfelicity
cantaloupe / 6634 posts

Sep 28, 2014

@MrsKMM: I completely understand. I, too, weaned myself off a low dose of Zoloft in the spring. Unfortunately, I have had two losses since then, so I am going back on. I say, do whatever feels right for you. Best of luck.
MrsKMM
apricot / 263 posts

Sep 28, 2014

@Simplyfelicity: Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear that!! Best of luck to you as well
Mrs.KMM
grapefruit / 4355 posts

Sep 29, 2014

I think everyone else has already done a good job answering your questions but I just wanted to point out that we have almost the exact same name!
MrsKMM
apricot / 263 posts

Sep 29, 2014

@Mrs.Kmm: Haha true, popular initials I guess! I remember a teacher in elementary school who told us to put our initials on the top of our papers, but there were 2 KMs, so we were told to put our middle initial too, but then we were both KMM lol and my initials didn't change when I got married! I'm not creative with usernames, but if it lets me alter it I can at least stick some numbers at the end or something
MrsKMM
apricot / 263 posts

Sep 29, 2014

Ok, maybe not.. I don't think it lets me edit it, oh well!
Mrs.KMM
grapefruit / 4355 posts

Sep 30, 2014

@MrsKMM: Pre-marriage I was KMR. My first name ends with an M too so there are a lot of m's in my name!