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To me the two photos are two different scenarios and I have two different responses!
I seriously question the motivation for anybody to post a picture of themselves in lingerie at four days pp, it totally feels like attention whoring to me and I hope that her underwiring doesn't lead to clogged ducts... Good on her for feeling good about herself but would she have achieved the same amount of publicity if she was dressed like the majority of new mothers at that point in time??
Maria Kang on the other hand appears in an obvious promo / publicity shot and to be honest my body could look a hell of a lot different if I got off my arse and worked out so I get what she's saying!
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@Arden: Exactly! I was waiting for someone to mention the headline. The picture doesn't really bother me, but the "What's your excuse?" is so snotty and rude.
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I was too distracted by the giant chesticles on the footballer's wife...Jeeze!
That is all. -
I seriously laughed at the 4 days after photo! LOL! Seriously, did she not have a uterus?
As for Maria Kang, I was all for her until she went in on obese women in a lingerie ad, claiming they shouldn't love how they look and they should be trying to change it. It got to me because I'm an overweight woman, probably would be considered grotesque to her, but I run 2 miles everyday or other day depending on the weather (sometimes 3 if I'm super stressed) and eat healthy and am losing weight. She has no idea what those women are doing. Although I'm pretty sure if she had led off with that, instead of the photo above, she'd have a hell of a lot more fans!
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@sarac: Whether someone is bulimic is immaterial inasmuch as most bulimics maintain a normal body weight. I don't see what that has to do with her pp body, unless you are intimating that her results are due to bulimia.
ETA: If anything, it makes it harder to lose weight because your metabolism gets so jacked up.
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These photos don't really bother me. I'm naturally petite and didn't put on a lot of weight during my pregnancy. I bounced back, but I wouldn't say I look utterly fabulous. I'm small, but a far, far cry from either of these women. However, I still had women make comments like, "You just had a baby? Bitch!" While lighthearted, I felt guilty for simply being. I would never fault those who experienced trouble loosing their baby weight, but on same token, believe we should be more supportive towards those who had more immediate success.
I don't particularly like the caption "what's your excuse?" only because it aims to evoke guilt and can deflate women already struggling with their postpartum bodies. The reason I don't look like ether of these women is because I don't have the money for the equipment, dieticians, and trainers that these women likely utilize. As a SAH parent, I also don't have hours of uninterrupted time to devote to a strict exercise routine each day (not that working moms do either). I don't exactly see these reasons as excuses, but it is what it is. I could try harder; I could stand to hold myself to a higher standard, but this is what works, right now. I aim to be active and healthy, but can't promise the picture of optimal fitness.
In the end, it's all a matter of perspective, resources, and priority.
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I don't really care enough to feel competitive about it, but it makes me wonder if she really thinks that this is an achievement 4 days pp. At that point, it's not necessarily "hard work", it's just a luck of the draw that your uterus shrunk faster than others, and you're not needing a pad the size of a small country to sop up all the blood. Big whoop.
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Good for her? But I find her "excuse" comment offensive, as it seems like shes suggesting if your not looking like her or trying to your at fault.
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pretty much ditto to what @deerylou said but wanted to add I am SO SICK of "real" being used in reference to women and their bodies. They are 'real' postpartum women just like you or I.
When someone comments on how thin I am PP I offer to show them what my stomach looks like underneath my clothes
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@scg00387: Here here on the *real* . . . that is such a pet peeve of mine!! Just because my body isn't drastically different from what it was pre-pg doesn't make me any less *real.* I know @MamaMoose: was getting at this earlier in this thread, too.
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@MamaMoose: SO true!!! I'd love to read that article...do you have a link?
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@MsLipGloss: Yep. It has the same ring to me as epidural vs. non-epidural battles. No one gets bonus points for having more stretch marks.
I'm inspired by mamas who take the time to pursue their passions and prioritize their health postpartum. This looks vastly different for many people - these two people clearly are passionate about their physical appearance, ostensibly their health as well, and prioritized their exercise and eating habits accordingly. Good for them! But I certainly don't need 'an excuse' for not doing the same
Also, my comment above was because even though I look thin, my stomach is a train wreck thanks to diastasis and stretch marks: http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/real-bellies-the-gold-version#post-1026410
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@scg00387: I just hate the idea that any woman is made to feel *less than* because of what others can or can't *see* . . . as if the physical changes are required for someone to be a *real* mom.
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@MsLipGloss: yep, I agree whole heartedly!
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Like @Kemma: , I have two different responses to these pictures. Maria Kang's snotty "What's your excuse?" caption makes me soooo ragey, while my reaction to the other woman's pictures is more, "Meh, good for her." My body has never looked like that, and probably never will. Bodies are so, so different from each other that comparison is pretty much useless, and for Kang to overtly position herself as superior to women who don't look like her is pretty gross to me.
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@MsLipGloss: I bounced back pretty easily after pregnancy. I'm still mushy, but lost all my preg weight. It is so weird to have been considered "not real" because I don't have some drastic body change... I have also had comments like "you bitch, FYI everyone hates you and your body" . It's been said jokingly, but honestly makes me feel so self conscious.
Eta: that's been said to me by more than one person too!!
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@.twist.: Asshats. Makes me want to *HulkSmash* their faces! And yeah, I get told all the time about how nobody can believe I got my figure back (uh, yeah, they don't know I have 15 pounds to go still!) . . . But really? So you were rooting for me to look like I was pg for the rest of my life? *BAER* I was lucky in many respects (no stretch marks, and my hair didn't fall out pp . . . those are the only two I can come up with), and really not lucky in others (pre-term labor, amnio leak, horrific delivery, PPA, and 60 pound weight gain, to name a few) . . . having been through that, I know the same is true for everyone else, i.e., that there was good and bad. But I don't hate someone or resent them because they didn't struggle with the same things I did.
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Eh I think she is just sucking in. I don't think it's too hard to get the shadows of the side of a belly to look like abs if you get the light right!
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I'm not hating (maybe a little) on women who happen to have amazing genetics/luck/whatever - there is no reason they should feel bad about bouncing back so quick.
However, it's laughable that that lady is saying that is her 4 days post partum. Let's be real, she'd be wearing a huge ass pad. Come on now!
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@MsLipGloss: so true. Everyone's struggles are different.
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@MsLipGloss: yes.
I gained half my body weight. I'm a petite person, it was a lot (damn you pre-e & all the swelling). There was third trimester snickering and comments about my body that made me very self-conscious.
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The football players wife: well that's just dumb luck. I don't care who you are, looking like that 4 days PP just isn't possible with work, it has to come naturally. As far as Maria goes, I say good for her!! Part of it is her job, regardless, she worked hard & should e proud!! I'm not saying we should all be expected to look that way but we can't use our babies as an excuse to be unhealthy forever!
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@rachiecakes: so I was lucky . . . my gain was only 45% of my body weight. ;). And snickering and comments? Seriously? WTF is wrong with people?!
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I read that the 4 days pp lady got a lot of comments before she had her baby that her body would never be the same. So I think that was the motivation behind posting the selfie. I got similar comments along those lines on just about everything baby-related, "Just you wait, you're never going to sleep again/go to the bathroom by yourself again/keep up CDing/etc…" so I totally get her wanting to shut up the naysayers.
As for Maria Kang, she is just some lady on the Internet. I get that she's kind of obnoxious, but isn't she easy enough to ignore? Now that I know what her deal is, I will not be clicking on any click bait with her name in the title. It does seem like the people who fly into a rage about her are projecting their own issues. Maybe I'm the only one who thought "What's your excuse?" was a rhetorical question.
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@MsLipGloss: @rachiecakes: @.twist.: YES. I had one friend who continually told me I "was gaining a lot of weight" and "looking huge" just to add "this is the only time in your life I get to tell you you're fat, so deal with it, ha ha!". Hilarious, dear friend.
She's preggo now so trying my best to be the bigger person...
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@JoJoGirl: LOL, I wouldn't....
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@mrsmate: actually this reminds me of a mommy blog I read once, where she posted all about her pregnancy. She was a naturally tall and thin person. When she posted about a new maternity dress she bought to wear home from the hospital, that happened to also be kind of a mini dress (on her, since she was tall), in the comments of her blog were a TON, TON of snarky comments like "clearly you haven't had a baby because you will not be able to wear that dress coming home from the hospital". "You'll find out when you have a baby that your priorities won't be staring at yourself in the mirror and choosing outfits, but will be on your baby." Just a lot of mean stuff. It was a knit dress, by the way...so totally stretchy.
Sure enough, she posted her going home from the hospital picture...wearing that dress so many people said she wouldn't/couldn't wear.
So I kind of get it.
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I think a lot of it is genetics. I was 5'4", 116 lbs pre pregnancy, gained only 20 lbs, and within a couple days you couldn't even tell I had a baby. My body actually looked better, because my boobs were huge, and I ended up losing 10 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight in the couple of months post partum! I didn't get stretch marks and my stomach was flat. I've never been into working out, I'm just genetically lucky. I'm on my second pregnancy now though, so we'll see what happens with that!
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@LemonLong: exactly! everyone is so different. I was 118lbs, 5'3" pre-pregnancy and was just under 180lbs when I gave birth. I didn't do anything differently diet-wise but I couldn't exercise due to pre-e/bedrest. 40+lbs were off by my 6 week appointment. The rest took some time with getting back into exercising and breastfeeding (I couldn't get the last couple off until I stopped nursing).
My mother didn't get stretch marks, neither did I.
By 11 months I was back pre-pregnancy weight, a cup size bigger, still there a year later. -
@JoJoGirl: the first day I noticed my feet were crazy swollen I got a ton of cackle-cackle "that's what happens when you're pregnant, just wait, haha" comments but I knew something was wrong. I called my doctor, they saw me immediately and sent me to the hospital. It wasn't a "haha, pregnancy ruins your body" moment, it was a sign that I developed PIH, eventually pre-e and was actually, really sick.
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@Anagram: can you share that blog or any others on my wall please? I am always looking for mommy blogs of any sort!
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@rachiecakes, people are pretty effing cruel. End of story.
@anagram, ugh, women are allowed to have priorities besides their baby. You don't have to let yourself go to hell in a handbasket!
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@TurtleDoves: someone posted it here on HB a long time ago when I was preggo, because this blogger was controversial about some of her other pregnancy stuff. Like...she didn't go outside during her pregnancy because she was afraid of environmental toxins or something? And a link was posted here on HB, so I clicked it and browsed just a few times.
In my short browsing time, she seemed pretty normal and just maybe had that one "not going outside" wierdness.
Lemme see if I can find it....
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@.twist.: i'm 1 year pp and i still get those comments at work. i tried to take them as compliments in the beginning, but now it's just like "really? leave me alone." "yes i did have a child" "yes i was pregnant last year" ;alskdjf;alksdjf;aljdsf
judgment/looks/etc is on both sides of the fence. why can't ppl just NOT comment on other's appearance?
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@mrsjyw: This. I don't get why "ugh you b(*#% you bounced back so quickly" is any more acceptable than "wow you still have a lot of baby weight to lose". I get it's a 'compliment' but can't we all just drop the commentary? Or say "you look great" and leave it alone?
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@mediagirl: oh wow, yeah her belly never got big. Mine looked like that 2nd trimester! By the time I have birth (large baby) my uterus measured "46 weeks" lol so there was no way I would have a belly like that right away.
Good for them for looking so good, but I do think these pictures, while possibly encouraging to pre-pregnancy women that it won't ruin their bodies necessarily, it does at a pretty high and often unattainable bar for most part partum women. I have separated abs still at 6m pp so I have never been able to work my abs yet. Lots of sagging belly skin, but in clothes most people tell me that I bounced right back (they don't see the sagging skin or extra 7-10lbs!) I much prefer the real post partum bodies threads here and other sites to get a more realistic view of the range.
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@Anagram: The Art of Making a Baby. She's kind of cray...
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@Weagle: definitely cray-cray...
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@Weagle: @Kemma: Really? I only browsed through her blog that once when someone posted it here, but I just looked at it again. Which part is cray cray? (Asking genuinely, because I'm at work and don't have a lot of time and everyone on the first couple of pages looks like normal mommy blog stuff).
In any case, from the quick read I did right now, some of the comments on her blog are SUPER snarky, sometimes for no reason at all.
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@lawbee11: I've been searching but sadly I read it through Facebook and can't find it again or remember the original source!
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