So this picture is going around of a footballer's wife selfie after 4 days postpartum
And this woman: Maria Kang
I give them kudos to achieving 'healthy" bodies postpartum. I am jealous, am I really being lazy?
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Well, for one, that photo is airbrushed. I've seen other photos of her and her stomach does not look like that.
Two, I believe she is a personal trainer so it's her job to train hard.
Be careful with media like this! You should search hellobee for the "real bellies" thread, it's very comforting and you can adjust your expectations accordingly. Everyone is different!
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She looks great!
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some folks have extra motivation to get in shape sooner--like when they are quasi celebrities and/or looking good is a very important part of the professional or personal image. or at least that's what i tell myself to make me feel better.
i don't want to give them credit because i think it feeds into the mentality that the "right" or "best" thing to do after labor is to get back to a position where it never looks like you were pregnant in the first place. just this general non-acceptance of what usually happens for most pregnant women.
ETA: haha wow i sound bitter don't i!
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Seriously? No. There are so many things at play here. Genetics being #1. Pre-baby body being #2. Circumstances being #3. Priorities being #4.
Sure we should all try to be healthy for ourselves and our families after giving birth, but you might not be the sort of person that is EVER going to look like that regardless of work. You might not have the base built up they did from pre-birth. You might not have all the help you need to watch your kids so you can spend time working out. You might simply not care that much about having washboard abs if it means missing out on kiddo time every day.
Good for these women for achieving what is obviously very important to them. But don't let them shame you about your body.
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I saw pics of both ladies. Good for them for doing what felt right for them, I don't think they should be hated on for being thin or fit, but I also don't think they should send out such a competitive message about what reality is for the general population of pp women!
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@Honeydew: I think she looks amazing!
I have a couple of friends and one sister who "bounced back" right after pregnancy--no stretch marks, no major stomach issues. Only one of them worked hard to get it back.
I have many friends (and myself!) who did not "bounce back" immediately and have stretch marks, saggy skin, etc--even IF they were back at PP weight.
So Much is genetics, baby size, baby position, and of course.....work done after pregnancy.
Agree with the PPs--the real bellies threads on here is great for seeing the whole gamut of post partum bodies. I love that thread.
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The whole issue here is that both of these women make a living as fitness bloggers. This is their livelihood so they are basically required to get back in shape incredibly quickly. Furthermore, they worked out very intensely pre-pregnancy and continued this during the pregnancy. It is absolutely not realistic to expect that all woman can and should look like this post-pregnancy.
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The woman in the link - 4 days pp - okay I'm sorry but THAT IS GENETICS. My abs looked like that before I got pregnant. I ate well and exercised up until the very end. I got horrific diastasis (ab muscle separation) probably partially *because* my muscles were so tight pre-preg. And my stomach is a total disaster muffin top 6 months pp even with working out and eating semi-okay. I get that she's proud of it but hate that it sends out seriously unrealistic expectations to so many women.
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I agree with @MRSJYW. I think the pictures do give me a sense of "competition".
I also feel that outsider's looking in (ie husbands, partners, and people who have no interest in bearing children) have an expectation and a false perception that postpartum we should look like that.
What I do know is that our bodies are amazing in creating life. I wish that I can have the genetics to bounce back quickly, but in reality in order for me to do that is to make it a priority.
I know the pics are controversial, but I was curious to know how other bees felt.
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@JoJoGirl: yes I agree Genetics!!! No other reason to look like that 4 days after birth!!
They do both look great though - kudos to them!
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I hate hate hate pics like this! I think it sends such a nasty, competitive vibe that they do to get attention and praise. Come on you just had a baby 4 days ago and your posting pics of yourself in your underwear!!! Its attention seeking and its to make other woman feel like shit. it is in no way to be supportive or motivating to other woman. These woman are vain and want praise.
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@Honeydew: I don't feel like I'm in competition with these women . . . truly, the only person I ever compare myself to is the best version of myself . . . I was in great shape pre-pg, and I am on my way to getting back there.
I am one of those who was small pre-pg, gained *60* pounds, but didn't get a single stretch mark and whose abs have bounced back really well pp (Maria Kang doesn't have anything on me!). My weight gain was insane . . . I gained 45%, of my body weight!!! I am still in the process of losing the rest of the weight (I have about 15 pounds to go) . . . and sure I'm jelly of those who gained less or who don't have to work as hard to get it all back, but yanno, it is what it is. Acceptance is the key to sanity . . .
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Because of the type of person I am and my beliefs regarding fitness, this gives me GOOD competition. It encourages me.
But, I agree with @stargal: that taking photos 4d pp & posting them online immediately is attention seeking and I can't remember having time for that. -
@TurtleDoves: @stargal: The only thing I will offer is that if I made my living selling my ability to sculpt and shape a body, then my own body would be a billboard for my work . . . in that sense, I see it as a marketing promo . . . a "this is what I look like pp . . . I can do the same for you" kind of thing.
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@.twist.: truth.
This is the same woman just 2 weeks before her due date. She was never large, she is a personal trainer and never had a big belly.
I still don't know how it's possible but if it is? Applause to her.
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@stargal: I definitely think the 4 day PP picture is attention seeking and kind of strange. I mean, I not only didn't have time to take a picture of myself but I was also not wearing a lace bra and undies! I was still wearing pads the size of a surf board and could barely stand straight after recovering from my C-section...just gross.
However, the picture of Maria Kang is awesome, it looks like she put in hard work and it paid off, great for her!
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I think they're just marketing their business! Any societal impact around postpartum expectations is just collateral damage...
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@mediagirl: She was that tiny at 9 months???
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@MsLipGloss: I'm with you, these women don't make me feel better or worse about my body. My 2003 cruise pictures do! lol! And I wasn't nor am I fit, petite, or in any real shape at all. I gained weight with my first, lost it, am currently gaining it again with this pregnancy. I say good for these women, they're amazing and it's inspiring to know that real life moms can look that badass. No hate here, just admiration.
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These people are probably able to afford round the clock nanny assistance so they can sleep and have the energy to workout. Some people are able to just "bounce" back post partum and its good for them I guess. There are ways to be proud of your 'gift' and then there is just showing off and sending the wrong message.
ETA: hey im a nectarine
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@mediagirl: Yeah I think I read she only gained 23lbs?
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Good for them. It doesn't bother me or make me feel bad that I'm not in pre-baby shape eight weeks after the fact. I'll just keep plugging along at my own pace.
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Good for them, they both look great. And no one should be shaming them for showing off how great they look after having a baby. They SHOULD be proud! I read a GREAT article recently about how our culture has gotten to a point where we are so concerned about protecting this idea that "real women's bodies" don't look that good, that we've basically gotten to a point of glorifying and accepting obesity.
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@MamaMoose: I 100% agree with you!
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at 4 days PP, I was in sweatpants, a large t-shirt, not showered and my hair in a bun on top of my head....loving on my new baby. I didn't care what I looked like I was so focused on baby. I think I'll post a picture of that after LO #2 arrives.
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I don't know if I believe that the picture was really taken 4 days after delivery. My skin was so saggy afterwards and it remained saggy for several weeks. Also as people have said, most women are still bleeding heavily and would be wearing giant undies. I wouldn't be surprised if that was a pre pregnancy photo she posted
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@mediagirl: That picture makes a huge difference. I kept thinking "how in the world is that possible?!?". But once I see that picture, it looks like she barely gained anything. Geez - I'm bigger than that and I have 4 months to go!
I don't think anyone should compare themselves to that. Granted, I was in the best shape of my life while pregnant w/ DD1 (no where near where these ladies are) and I continued to workout during pregnancy. It still took me 8 months to get back to where I was. But these ladies spend all day, every day working at what they eat and working out. I choose to enjoy my life... meaning I'll eat and drink what I want
@sunny: I thought about that, too.
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@mediagirl: Say whaaat - that's tiny! LOVING her outfit though
My daycare provider was also really tiny all through her pregnancy. At 9 months pregnant she looked like a normal 5 month belly. Crazy how different we can all be!I have mixed feelings about this. She's doing a great job keeping her body in excellent shape, and maybe she just wants to motivate people. Buuut - it just makes me feel defensive and sad.
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@MsLipGloss: good thinking. And I would take that & be like, "hi! Sign me up!" But I guess others take that as offensive (and I can see that too).
But damn--4d pp? That's majorly impressive because I believe it wasn't until 4d pp that I actually took my IV out:/ -
@sunny: By no means were my abs that great but my skin was that tight by 4 days postpartum. From the other pic posted on this thread it's obvious the woman's belly never got the big (same thing with me, I was only 18 lbs above pre pregnancy weight when I delivered), and when your belly doesn't grow much, the skin doesn't get stretchy/saggy.
ETA: But I'm with you on the need for big panties!
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Maria Kang is a recovering bulimic - which is a point that often goes unmentioned. I consider it fairly easy for MOST women to return to something approximating their prepregnancy size - NOT to get to a size zero. If you start at a size zero, good on you for getting back to it. It doesn't make the rest of us lazy for not aspiring to do so.
This also to say that my belly was flat 4 days after delivery. As flat as it ever was. The speed with which your belly shrinks has literally nothing to do with anything.
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While I can agree it sets unrealistic expectations for people who don't know better, I don't really think we should flame these women for looking good after having babies (though the caption on the second one really annoys me). Of course, I think it's attention seeking and strange to be posting underwear photos of yourself 4 days after having a baby (or, ever) but it's not like she should be banned from posting photos because she is so thin.
@sunny: I thought about that too, but if you look closely (I did) her belly button looks weird. That's how mine looked shortly after birth too-- like, big and sunken. That would be wear our belly similarities ends, but I believe it's a good angle, good lighting, and sucking it in 4 days pp.
I remember when Kate Middleton was seen the day after having Prince George (in a nice dress, not her undies, because she's classy:) people commented on her real belly-- some surprised, some applauding the reality.
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I don't blame these wine for looking so good. What is devastating, however, is the "what's your excuse" caption. How horrifyingly shaming. I am disgusted.
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One thing I learned from attending my prenatal yoga classes (LOVED them and totally recommend) was that we all have different bodies that respond to pregnancy and postpartum completely differently. Yes, what you eat and how much you excersize will make a difference, but some women are just leaner naturally. I would be shocked by some of the women at 30+ weeks who were barely showing and some looked like they were about to pop in the beginning of the second tri. It's absolutely pointless for us to compare our bodies.
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eh, you know. Genetics and hard work and a little luck will get you pretty far sometimes.
I do think posting photos of yourself 4 days PP in sexy undies is pretty attention whore-ish, though. But, whatever.
Lighting, tanning lotion, angles, etc, can all do amazing things for selfies. Have you guys seen this 15 second makeover? I'm sure there's some magic going on here
(http://www.sheknows.com/health-and-wellness/articles/1015503/the-truth-about-those-amazing-before-after-weight-loss-pics)
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@maybebaby: This exactly.
The pictures are fine. I'm not offended or upset by them, and I think these women have every right to be happy with their bodies. The caption however "What's Your Excuse?" is despicable. I will never support shaming as motivation.
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@mediagirl: I think Ive read that when you have very toned, strong ab muscles, you carry smaller? That could be wrong, but I have heard that.
For me, THIS is what a woman looks like days after giving birth (albeit a very put together new mom, lol). It takes 6 weeks for the uterus to fully shrink back into the pelvis.
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@blackbird - amazing tutorial on a makeover selfie!
@loveisstrange - I love the fact Kate Middleton came out with a postpartum bump!
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I wonder if the lady in the selfie didn't do the Victoria Beckham C-section + tummy tuck operation in one?
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