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Could you send him to public Kindergarten at 5 and then apply for the private school's first grade the following year?

@aprild: Unfortunately, we are seeing this more and more with the private schools in my area. Kinder cutoff is August 1 for public and now private schools are saying theirs is June 1, especially because they claim the program is "academically rigorous" (only in quotes because I'm not sure it is at this point) compared to the public school program.

Honestly, I'd send to the public schools and maybe do private for high school.

@aprild: Could you do a public TK (or even public K, maybe that would make more sense) program this year and private K the year after? There would probably be some overlap, but that way you would likely get into the private school?

@aprild: Our public school is also pretty much average, but I'm inclined to at least try it, so that's where my advice comes from. Hopefully you're able to figure out something that works for your family!

I think it comes down to a long term assessment of how you compare the private to the public school - not just during the kindergarten year. If you think that the private school offers a significant academic/social advantage to the public school over the course of your child's future academic education, then I would prioritize getting your child there. In your case, as I understand your concerns that may mean holding your child back (or may not). However, if you don't think that the private school is really all that much better, then it may not make sense to prioritize going there - given the other potential negatives. As a general matter, I'm anti-redshirting just for its own sake - I think its beneficial to certain kids but I prefer for it to be made on an individual basis (because the younger child genuinely needs time to develop, etc) rather than just to get into certain schools/classes.

I hope that made sense! These are such tough choices. It sounds at least like you have two acceptable options. Where I live, we are not so lucky. Our public schools are abysmal.

Is this the case at all the private schools or one in particular? I would see if you can talk to current parents and find out their experience/what they did. Seems a little ridiculous that they wouldn't have any late spring/early summer birthdays, they must let in some of those kids. Generally schools want to balance the classrooms.

My brother and SIL ran into this. They live in an area with not many private schools, so there was only one they were considering. And the area is really rural with a lot of underprivileged kids, so public schools aren't especially challenging (they were fine once I got to high school, but I literally quite doing anything for a week in elementary school because I was so freaking bored because the teachers had to teach down to the lowest level).

My oldest nephew wasn't ready for the private school the year they considered applying for him to enter school, so the school suggested they hold him back. Instead of doing that and him not learning anything, my SIL started home schooling him and has continued with all her kids. The oldest two just started the private school last year in like 6th and 8th grade. My niece loves it, the oldest would rather still be home where he can get school work out of the way on his own time!

I’m not looking at private schools but I share your frustration over summer birthdays. In general the automatic red shirting bothers the hell out of me- but now my late summer birthday kid’s teachers recommended I hold her and do TK for her. There is no public transitional K so I’ll probably be doing another year of private for her then start public K the next year, a month after she turns six.

If this is what the school recommends for just about all summer birthdays, I imagine he will be in good company. I don’t think you would have to worry about him being bored since all twenty kids from the TK would be in the same boat.

That seems like a load of horse doody coupled with a money grab to me. Maybe K should be for 6 year olds instead of 5 year olds, but in your area it isn't, so they force kids into an extra year of school (and parents into paying for it...how convenient!) by upping the K entrance 'requirements' to get an older class (that will also, conveniently, probably goose whatever test scores they have...). I dunno. I'd be pretty turned off by that.

I have a late-summer-birthday kid in what is probably the most rigorous private school in the area and they didn't bat an eye. One of the things I liked about this school is that they seem to have a much better grasp on what's developmentally appropriate for the kids and use more creative/hands-on teaching methods.

Agree that the whole idea of TK, especially in a pricey private school, sounds more like a combo of them wanting $$$ and not wanting to deal with a range of abilities in any given class. That would make me wary.

My LO attends a charter school that has a rigorous program, and assessments were done in the summer prior to the start of the school year. From there teachers gave advice to the parents on areas that their child may need to work on over the summer to be better prepared, but it was basic stuff like knowing the alphabet, numbers, and writing names properly. Even with kids of all backgrounds, the teachers provide the resources for kids to "catch up."

If these private schools are as academically rigorous as advertised, there should be no issues providing the appropriate resources to help these students. It sounds like more of an excuse to me.

Ahh. I am so sorry you are going through this, reading this makes me mad. I don't have anything to contribute but just want to let you know that I hate this for you!

We are fortunate that we have a winter birthday and our private school never discussed that we needed to hold back. I do want to point out though, that in our school there are quite a few people holding back their children. There were at least 3 children I know who turned 6 in our pre-K class last year! If your school is anything like ours, I can see how it was "designed for 5.5-6 years old" because there are potentially kids who are 6.5-7 in that class. That is unfair.

Another thought is, did your son go to daycare/preschool when he was younger? I was talking to one of our pre-k parents last year. Their son was older (turned 6 during the pre-k school year while DS was still 4.5). I asked why did they decide to hold back, and they told me they originally started in kindergarten, but after a few weeks they got summoned in. The school suggested they should hold back to do a year of pre-K. This was because their child has always been home, and he lacked experience in a classroom environment where you are required to sit down and work with your classmates and follow the teacher's lead as a team, rather than getting up and do whatever you want. I wonder if that could be the reason your school suggested for you to hold back?

In response to some suggestions on going to a public elementary then private high school -- I was told that once you were "raised" in a public school environment, it could be harder to go back to private. That's just what I heard I don't know how valid it is across the country.

You mentioned there are 3 private schools in your area, what does the other 2 say?

On the bright side for a summer birthday: You have the freedom to throw an indoor OR outdoor party however you want, and you don't need to worry about snow and flu season like we do! Haha!

Hugs and I hope you figure it out soon...!