I need advice. My almost 18 month old just started day care. He's been home with me all summer and before that was with a nanny at our house. (He did do daycare for a few months a year ago but I am certain he has no memory of that). He hadn't ever had ANY kind of attachment/neediness issues until recently. In fact he was super easy in this regard. He'd let anyone hold him etc. until about a couple months ago. Then out of the blue, over the summer, he started having some separation anxiety and a pretty terrible sleep regression for the past few weeks. Then we started "school" on Tuesday. He has been crying most of the day there and is frantic when we drop him off. Yesterday when I picked him up, he was walking around crying for mama. 
So so sad. Last night he woke up every hour crying for me or Dada. Is this normal? Will it get better? How long will it take? Is there anything I can do to ease it? I feel just awful for him! Tomorrow I don't have to work and had been really looking forward to a day to myself, but now I feel guilty bringing him to daycare and wonder if I should keep him with me.... Thanks for the support, Bees!
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I think at this age, separation anxiety is pretty normal, but I don't have a lot of advice for starting daycare at this age. Xander's been going since 12 weeks, so he's used to it, but he STILL cries and clings to me whenever I'm the one to drop him off (usually my husband handles drop off).
That said, I think I've heard it takes a couple weeks for them to get used to it, so I would probably just keep sending him. Even though you probably want to, I wouldn't keep him home with you tomorrow because that will just disrupt the routine and lengthen how long it takes for him to get used to daycare. I'd give it at least two weeks (10 whole days) and then reevaluate.
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I am sure it is totally normal. I would give it a couple weeks and see how he adjusts. Is he crying all day? I know R's teachers say that most of the kids in her class get whinny at the end of the day cause they know it is around the time for pickup.
Hugs!!!
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@Smurfette: @Adira: Thanks ladies.... Yes, the teachers said he cried most of the day. He had some moments of playing but he was very unhappy, overall. Didn't want to eat his lunch which is unheard of for my big eater. He's also going through a language explosion so I wonder if he's got multiple things going on that are making him miserable. I guess I will send him tomorrow for at least part of the day... It's just sooooo sad to see him so upset!
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@travellingbee:
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@travellingbee: Really hoping it just takes him a couple days to adjust and then he'll spend MOST of the day happy while he's there.
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My son has had horrible school transitions (almost all of them and he is 3 years old now). One thing that really helped at 18 months and for my kid is to find a good transition point. For him it was breakfast. I would wait with him until breakfast and then he was ready for me to leave. I know that many teachers like the drop and run technique, but my son has always needed to be in charge. When he is ready for something he will be ready for it. So staying until he told me I could leave worked better.
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I'm so sorry! Is there any way you can stay and watch him without him seeing him if you send him tomorrow? I would send him just because it gives him consistency, even if the consistency seems to suck for him. It sounds like he is going through a lot right now so this change is probably just bad timing but there's nothing you can really do about that. I'm sorry it's so stressful!! I hope it gets better.
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Aw that sounds awful! I'd expect his teachers should have experience with this and give you some suggestions to ease the transition. I would expect it to take up to a few weeks, though.
Do you think it would help if you went in with him for a few hours in the morning, then let him spend a little time on his own? Then you could reduce the time you're there and increase the time he's there alone?
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