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Ok this is random but one of my neighbors just asked to borrow our plunger. Um - I’m not a germaphobe at all but that even grossed me out.
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@yellowbeach: it's pretty consistent, no dips, no spikes. I have no idea what's going on 🤷♀️
Also, that's gross! But your own dang plunger!
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Hi ladies, well I got a BFN today at what I think is 11dpo
I know I’m not out yet but feeling pretty bummed.
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@QBbride: Oh no that sucks - do you remember with your first two how soon you got a
? Definitely not out yet, but I understand the frustration.
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@QBbride: I’m sorry to hear this.
Early testing is so hard. FWIW with my first pregnancy I didn’t get a positive with my first pregnancy until 14dpo. It was eventually a loss but for genetic reasons, my hormones were fine.
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@yellowbeach: That is the weirdest request ever! I guess if you need one you need one, but it’s not really a thing I would borrow...
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@yellowbeach: @karenbme: with my first two I got super early positives, like 8-9dpo. I’ve had one early loss too and I think I got an early positive with that one too. My bff said she didn’t get a positive on a FRER until 12dpo with her daughter so I’m trying to be positive buuuuuut this really sucks!
Also, I’m having a really terrible time at my job (my manager sucks but my skills are so specialized it’s hard to go somewhere else) and the only thing getting me through is that I could possibly be off in less than a year. And you better believe I’ll be taking the full 18 months and not a day less.
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@QBbride: Sorry to here you’re having a hard time at work. TTC is hard enough without other stresses like that. Also, where are you that you get 18 months maternity??? I can’t imagine how great that must be.
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@karenbme: Canada! They just changed it from 12 months to 18 months (same pay but just spread out over longer).
I’ve been super crampy all week with a sore lower back but not like AF cramps. I think I will test again tomorrow morning.
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@QBbride: I'm sorry about the BFN, but it's not over until it's over, right?
We have a pretty good parental leave system over here too. I hope to use it one day.
We get 18 months paid leave (and get about the same amount of money as what the monthly salary before was. Women previously unemployed get the minimum wage. ) as well, but we can legally stay home with the kid for three years, just not get paid after the first year and a half, and still get the same job back after that. The paid leave continues beyond that 18 month mark if the woman has her next child less than 2 years 6 months after the previous one.
We get paid for the time before and around due date and a one time payment/assistance (not sure what the right word is for that) when the child is born.Also no hospital bills for children under 18 years, students, working taxpayers, pregnant women who have seen a doctor to confirm pregnancy before the 12th week, disabled and retired people as we cover it in our monthly taxes.
We have a lot of things wrong around here, but as the population growth is negative, the government is doing what it can to make having children seem more appealing (and affordable).
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@paranundrum: I think I want to move to your country
I get six weeks paid and 12 in total -
@QBbride: Canada is the best... We live close enough to the border that Montreal is our nearest city, so we're up there frequently for shopping or concerts or hockey games, and I keep telling DH that we should be looking for jobs up there so that we can immigrate. But I hear unless you marry a Canadian it's next to impossible. Although DH has an uncle who did it in the 70s, so maybe he'd sponsor us?
@paranundrum: Man, time off around your due date must be nice! What country are you in that lets you do that?
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@magnolia: Same, except the pay is only 66% of my salary, and I carry our benefits so we'll have to pay the full amount of our health insurance while I'm out. It's all stuff we've planned for, but still kind of crappy. Although, I shouldn't totally complain because DH's company just instituted 6 weeks of fully paid family leave for men and women, so he'll be able to be off with me for part of the time, or potentially off with me for a few weeks and then home with a baby on his own if we have trouble finding childcare right away (which is a thing where we live
).
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@magnolia: That sounds awful... But once you get used to the luxury, a two-year-old seems too little to be sent to full time daycare too...
@karenbme: I'm from Estonia. The norm is to stop working 30 days before the due date, but it's possible to stop earlier, up to 70 days before.
We get paid for 140 days around due date. If you stop working 30 days before the due date, you have 110 days left after giving birth.
After that starts the parental leave and it doesn't have to be the mother who stays home, if the mother wants to go back to work, the father can stay home instead. Parents can also take turns and switch each month if they want/need to. -
Hey ladies. I’ve been quiet on this board for a couple of days but an update.
I started getting some UTI like symptoms on Sunday and by Monday evening I was really feeling them. By the time I went to bed, I had a fever and body aches like I had the flu, and lots of back pain. The UTI symptoms came and went but I was totally out of commission and even missed work. Yesterday morning I woke up and feeling a lot better, decide to take a pregnancy test. To my complete shock, it comes out positive... it was only 8 DPO.
This morning the UTI symptoms were back in full force so I went to the doctors office and they confirmed a UTI (and the pregnancy) and prescribed amoxicillin. I’m guessing my fever and backpain were related to the UTI and knowing I’m now pregnant, I’m glad I didn’t put off seeing the doctor.
I’m cautiously optimistic about the pregnancy though given last cycle’s chemical and my recent fever and general malaise. It’s been pretty difficult to get excited about this one and I probably won’t get my hopes up too much until we are several more weeks down the line.
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@SupernovaJ: Cautious congratulations!
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@paranundrum: Wow, that sounds like a dream. It's crazy to be on these boards and see just how far behind the US is relative to the rest of the world. We also have negative population growth, and every year it gets lower, but rather than put in place policies that would help families with young kids, like paid leave or childcare subsidies, we just get articles about how women (never families, always women) are ruining the country by not having babies. It's ridiculous.
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@SupernovaJ: wow exciting!!! Cautious congrats to you!
@paranundrum: wow that parental leave sounds amazing! We can switch off too, or even take it at the same time, for a total of 18 months. So my DH and I were saying if I’m off on maternity leave when the baby is about 1 year, maybe he will take a month off too over the summer so we can enjoy it as a family.
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@SupernovaJ: Congratulations! I totally get that you want to protect yourself in case something goes wrong. I have exactly the same impulse after everything we've been through, but DH always reminds me that we should celebrate each milestone, because they're not guaranteed. Making an embryo is a big deal, so congratulations on getting that far, even if you're worried about what comes next!
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@SupernovaJ: Cautious congrats!
Hope you get to feeling better soon too!
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@karenbme: Ha, we have one politician, a man from the most conservative (bad kind of conservative) party we have here, who actually said a few years back, that a 27 year old childless woman is a "harmful element" in the society... the media storm after that took a while to blow over.
@QBbride: A month off as a family sounds great.
@SupernovaJ: What @karenbme: said reminds me of an idea I read here on the board a while ago and liked a lot. "Today I'm pregnant."
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You ladies are the sweetest. Thanks so much for the cautious congrats.
Sigh, I really need to move to Canada. Not only are their parental leave policies terrific, but it's just beautiful there! I've been to Montreal, Toronto, Vancouver, and Quebec City (seriously like a fairytale!!). Seriously loved every city and each was so different. Would love to visit some of the more quaint towns someday.
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So my thermometer was broken this morning? I don't know if I broke it sleep walking again? But it was broke broke. So I am going into the rest of the cycle blind. I'll take it as a break from over analyzing.
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@Sams Mom: At least it confirmed one last OV for you before giving up completely. It would have been so bad if it had broken right before OV.
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@SupernovaJ: congrats!!!
I am also in the cautiously excited stage and I am hoping for all the best for you!! 
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@karenbme: that’s so ridiculous. Our union just won the six weeks paid, otherwise I would just be using up my sick time and have the rest unpaid. Also I can actually take a whole year off but I would lose my health insurance and have no income. So it’s not feasible.
When my son was born, I went on unemployment because the agency I worked for closed right when he was born. So I got somewhat lucky and was home with him until he was 9 months.
Luckily my husbands job is very flexible so he will be able to be around, although unpaid.
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@Sams Mom:
That stinks. Hopefully you're able to take a break and relax a little bit. I know if it were me, though, that would be really hard.@SupernovaJ: I know, right?? I adore Montreal, and have spent time in QC, Vancouver, and Toronto, and all have been fantastic. Plus Canadian national parks are on level with if not better than those in the US. One of the things I really want to do with potential future babies is take them to see all the whales, but especially the belugas in the Saint Lawrence Seaway. And DH and I went on a back country trip through Banff last summer, which was so epic on par with anything we've done in a US park.
@magnolia: "I can take a year off, but I'd have no income or health insurance" is not the same as being able to take a year off. Companies here saying that's an option is just silly. I also go back and forth on whether I should try to horde sick/vacation time because I could potentially get 6 weeks paid that way if I didn't take a single other day off in a year and my maternity leave worked out to be at the end of our FY, but it just feels so ridiculous to have to do that.
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@SupernovaJ: Congratulations! What kind of HPT did you use? I'm currently 8 DPO and while it's really early to get a positive I've been dying to take one to fuel my addiction in the TWW lol. and well, since you were able to get one I figure why not try??
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@cstanton13: Do it! As @SamsMom and @kaohinani both say: Pee On ALL the Sticks!
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@yellowbeach: I am coming up on Pee on All the Sticks time. I don't know why I lied and put my POAS date as 16 dpo
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@yellowbeach: I'm soooo nervous!
Last month I literally started peeing on 10 dpo and didn't stop until I got AF. annnd I went into a state of depression because of that darn BFN. I guess I got my hopes way up.
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@Sams Mom: girl me too! I don't see how I'm going to be able to wait until next Thursday that's like a year away in TWW terms lol
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@cstanton13: Are you charting your temps at all? Maybe that could help temper your expectations? We all totally get the obsession and nerves associated with all of this. That's probably part of why we're all here instead of going this POAS process alone.
@samsmom:
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@cstanton13: Thanks so much.
I just used the cheapie Wondfo brand from Amazon since they come in a huge pack. I don't think I'll use FRER until later this weekend. Seeing the diminishing lines on those was pretty heartbreaking last month, so not until it's super strong. My 8 DPO wasn't a squinter but was really faint. This mornings was a lot darker but I actually tested two strips and even with the same urine, one came out darker than the other. Just goes to show you they aren't very consistent and for ease of mind, you can always test with more than one strip in the early DPO days to see the range.8 DPO:
9 DPO:
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@SupernovaJ: Eeek!
the look of that 9DPO ... and now the painful wait!
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@yellowbeach: Totally eek! The other reason for caution is that my temps have been trending down for the last couple of days... so this really is the other long wait.
How are things looking for you with your next FET / timing? I have been lurking on the IVF thread. I'm so glad you ladies are keeping that thread going. I love keeping up with it.
ETA: OOh just read your update on the other board. That false positive... ugh. I'd be annoyed.
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@SupernovaJ: That is a heck of a positive at 9 dpo! Temps are finicky and I've read a lot of women stop temping after a positive... But I know I wouldn't stop, so fingers crossed for you lady!
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@yellowbeach: no, but I definitely plan to next month. By the time this month that I realized I wanted to continue TTC and went and bought a basal thermometer it was 3 dpo so I didn't have much to compare with the temps so I just never did. Do you think I could start doing it now? Is there a average temp that I should be at during this stage in the TWW?
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@SupernovaJ: wow! the comparison between both of them is crazy. 8 dpo I could barely see anything then 9 dpo BAM!! it's literally a "BIG FAT POSITIVE" lol That's amazing
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@Sams Mom: I noticed this last cycle with my (false) positive that FF told me to stop temping after a positive. Must be something to it as they seem fairly evidence-based.
@CStanton13: I'm by no means a temping expert - have maybe only 1.5 cycles under my belt. I'll defer to @samsmom for that one.
I know I’m not out yet but feeling pretty bummed.
? Definitely not out yet, but I understand the frustration.
I get six weeks paid and 12 in total 
).
Last month I literally started peeing on 10 dpo and didn't stop until I got AF. annnd I went into a state of depression because of that darn BFN. I guess I got my hopes way up.
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