I'm 5 months postpartum and sex is still unbearable. I can get in the mood but whenever we try I'm shocked by how badly it hurts. DH has been patient but he's getting frustrated. Neither of us thought it would take nearly so long.
My doctor says the pain is the result of mucus membranes thinning during breast feeding. He advised me to use lots of lube which I have been but it only helps a little.
Is this within the realm of "normal"? Is there anything else I can do?
hostess / papaya / 10219 posts
I don't know what's normal but I can tell you that at 4.5 months pp, we need crazy amounts of lube for it to resemble bearable. I am surprised at how much it hurts too. Nature's way of keeping us from getting knocked up again too soon? 
wonderful grape / 20453 posts
Can you ask for some estrogen cream? My dr offered it if I was still having trouble
pear / 1642 posts
Ditto the estrogen cream! My doc gave me some and it helped so much. I was still in a little pain even when not attempting to have sex. Now it's way more enjoyable and I feel normal again.
GOLD / pomelo / 5737 posts
@Corduroy: I still have pain at almost 11 months. But I know why and it's not unbearable... Definitely get a checkup. I can't remember what it was called but my dr also prescribed a cream of some sort...
pomelo / 5258 posts
@MrsRoo: right? I told DH we could try again when I don't hurt just sitting on the couch. It's not all the time by any means but it happens.
coconut / 8498 posts
It was pretty miserable until AF returned. Then everything was back to normal.
blogger / persimmon / 1231 posts
I still am too at 7 months PP Though it's from scar tissue, blah. I finally went and saw my midwife that delivered my daughter, then an OB and got a prescription for lidocaine. That can really help...though I'm thinking in your case the estrogen cream may be best from what I've heard. Good luck! It's such a bummer to go through this huh?
bananas / 9973 posts
@Corduroy: I'm almost at 5 months pp and thankful you posted this. Yes. I actually get scared of the pain sometimes, I'd rather just not DTD. But I did remember hearing you get really dry, so we've been trying to use more and more lube. I still feel like I can feel where I had stitches. I think I am going to ask for the estrogen cream too.
squash / 13764 posts
I would say things got better for us around 6 months pp. I hope things improve!
nectarine / 2797 posts
Things were like this for us until 10 months pp. I wish more people talked about it!
nectarine / 2217 posts
Things got better with a little practice and around 6-7 months. I feel your pain and you're not alone in this!!!
grapefruit / 4671 posts
@hilsy85: 6 months pp things took a significantly better turn for us too!
And as I dropped nursing sessions here and there after my LO was eating more solids, it got better and I needed very little lube. At about 8 month spp, no lube was needed and when AF returned at 10 months pp, all was magical in DTD land again. For us, I think BF was the major culprit.
pear / 1570 posts
Practice, so much lube and the return of AF is what really helped us.
The KY warming lube with the red cap is the best we have found - it is thin and slippery. KY and the other jelly lubes were just not working for us.
Yep, just typed that on the internets.
kiwi / 538 posts
I've suffered with vaginismus in the past so if you think it might be a physical issue, it might be worth reading up about the symptoms or talking to your doctor. They can refer you to a physical therapist that focuses on the pelvic floor (usually the sessions will be paid for by insurance). If you have any questions or anything feel free to ask :).
pomelo / 5258 posts
@littlebittyhouse: I appreciate you typing it! It took me a couple weeks to get up the guts to post about this. Thanks for the recommendation.
pomelo / 5093 posts
Not normal! Physical therapists that focus on the pelvic floor can help you out. You deserve better! This is a seldom discussed problem that tons of women deal with. Thank god we have this place to bring it up.
honeydew / 7811 posts
What does the estrogen cream do? Can anyone explain it to me?
I remember my OB mentioning being able to call in a prescription for estrogen if I needed it, but at six weeks postpartum I was in a haze and didn't really listen to her.
I'm almost 4 months pp now and the thought of DTD terrifies me (we haven't yet). Poor DH is losing his mind. I'm not in the mood at all, I'm sure I'm completely dry and I still have pain almost daily, like when I get out of bed or on the toilet
Sorry for the TMI thread jack
honeydew / 7917 posts
Things didn't start to improve until I finished pumping. I was constantly dry and don't react well to lube. DH is probably dreading our sex life after LO2 arrives.
pomegranate / 3706 posts
I was still in pain at 5 mo. PP, too, and found out I had a complication from giving birth that had to be corrected. My OB gave me some estrogen cream (because I was still nursing) and that also really helped. LUBE--GOOD LUBE, seriously. There's one called Liquid Sex--yeah I know--that works really well. I used to wonder if it was this secret that sex after birth just always hurt and no one talked about it, but it doesn't. It WILL get better and be pain-free, I promise.
pomelo / 5258 posts
Update: It's been a month and I finally got around to going to the doctor today.
I didn't mention it in my original post but I got the Mirena IUD, my pre-pregnancy birth control, at 10 weeks pp. As if I needed birth control at 10 weeks pp! I wasn't having problems with it (which is probably why I forgot to mention it) but the strings were poking DH. So I finally scheduled the appointment to get the strings trimmed. We shouldn't BOTH be in pain, right?
The doctor gave me estrogen cream to help with my comfort and reminded me to use lots of lube. He also pointed out pretty nasty looking granulation. The doctor said it would hurt a lot during sex so he removed it after giving me a shot of lidocaine. It didn't hurt and there was very little blood but I passed out before getting dressed. I have a long history of fainting so I don't think anyone else should expect that. The doctor and nurses were quite surprised so that must not be normal.
I'm going to start using the estrogen cream. Hopefully the combination of the cream, having my strings trimmed, granulation removed, and time passing will make for better sex.
Thanks for all your help ladies! I hope the other ladies that were uncomfortable last month are doing better!
nectarine / 2217 posts
@Corduroy: i'm so glad the doctor was able to do a few things to hopefully help! do report back! i'm about to have LO#2 in a week or so and i really hope it doesn't hurt until 7m pp again 
persimmon / 1178 posts
@Corduroy: update again, when you have tried everything, please! 16 months pp and still hurts here
coconut / 8279 posts
@Corduroy: thanks for sharing your experience with granulation - when I first discovered it I felt like something was horribly wrong and I had never heard of this complication. Everything was sore (and soo much discharge, ugh) until a year postpartum.
| Today | Monthly Record | |
|---|---|---|
| Topics | 1 | 0 |
| Posts | 0 | 1 |
Ask for Help
Make a Suggestion
Frequently Asked Questions
Bee Levels
Acronyms
Most Viewed Posts
Hellobee Gold
Hellobee Recipes
Hellobee Features
Hellobee Contests
Baby-led Weaning
Bento Boxes
Breastfeeding
Newborn Essentials
Parties
Postpartum Care Essentials
Sensory Play Activities
Sleep Training
Starting Solids Gear
Transitioning to Toddler Bed
All Series
Who We Are
About the Bloggers
About the Hostesses
Contributing Bloggers
Apply to Blog
Apply to Hostess
Submit a Guest Blog
Hellobee Buttons
How We Make Money
Community Policies
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite1
27 comments