Ugh. This is mostly a vent, but if someone has a magic bullet I haven't tried...
With DS we did Ferber for bedtime. Then we night weaned by switching to bottles at night and making them gradually smaller and using his binky. Once he was night weaned the night wakings stopped.
Fast forward to DD who is ten months old. We sleep trained months ago, so she puts herself to sleep for naps, but not at bedtime. If she's just fussing she will settle herself, but if she's truly crying/screaming she doesn't wind down. Trust me. I let her go for 90 minutes once. She doesn't use a pacifier or suck her thumb. And she's nursing all.night.long. Every two hours. Sometimes more. And woe betide me if I try to put her back in her crib before she's done. At naptime she will go down wide awake with a contented little wiggle and sigh, but not at bedtime or for night wakings. Her sleep has gotten progressively worse over the last three months. Having DH do night wakings isn't an option right now so it's just me. She eats well, she's already walking so it isn't that, she has a consistent nap schedule and bedtime, we use white noise. I'm so tired.
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This was my DS all the way! Except, he wasn't good at naps either... I really liked reading "healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Weissbluth. I know you're exhausted but if you can at least skim the beginning and relative sections, it might be helpful to you. Basically, when the child gets to the point that they are overtired, they will sleep less and find it harder to fall asleep. If she is falling asleep at naps in her own- she can put herself to sleep at night! But if she's overtired, she will cry and find it impossible to settle down. I could give you my (from a distance) opinion, but I think Weissbluth gives some good ideas to try. Otherwise, if you can do it, a sleep consultant might be worth it. I don't know about you, but I am not a fun person with that kind of sleep deprivation! Hope you can find something that works! My heart goes out to you!
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oh that is rough. i am so sorry. my friend hired a sleep consultant and she said it was the best money she ever paid. even without a sleep consultant, things will get better eventually. i have done CIO with both kids. not everyone's comfortable with that.
do you think she would take to a lovey or some other comfort object?
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No advice, just commiserating... my nine month old wakes up like three times a night, and after the third time she starts this comfort nursing marathon and has to stay latched on till morning or she screams bloody murder. Ugh... I am not a lollipop! I don't know what I'm doing wrong, she was thisclose to sleeping through the night till she hit four months. It's been only downhill since!
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I'm sorry
Sounds like my son. Wasn't until I weaned at 12 months that sleep improved but even now at almost 3, he's still not a great sleeper.
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That sounds really hard, I'm sorry! My only thoughts would be to try getting her attached to a lovey, or maybe one of those crib aquarium things would hold her attention off of crying? We have this bear that sings lullabies and glows when you press its tummy and one night he was having an awful time so I threw it in there and he listened to it until he fell asleep. Good luck!
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@sunstar: Yes I've read Weissbluth several times. I guess we could try an even earlier bedtime. I'm still pretty functional out of sheer necessity, but I know I'm not as patient as I would be rested.
@edelweiss: I wish we had wiggle room in our budget, but we are tight! No dice on the lovey.
@Mama Bird: I, too, am not a lollipop. Little stinkers.
@Trailmix:
@cam: I've tried and tried to get her on a lovey, but I haven't tried a musical one.
Thanks, everyone! I know that this too shall pass. Hopefully soon.
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I'm so sorry. This sounds exactly like my DD was at that age. We survived by co-sleeping because it's the only way I could function. I was opposed to co-sleeping (for myself) before I had DD, but it ended up being a lifesaver with a needy baby.
For DD, she finally started sleeping better right around 12 months. At nearly two she's still not a great sleeper, but isn't waking up constantly like she once did. Good luck! I know how hard it can be.
Sounds like my son. Wasn't until I weaned at 12 months that sleep improved but even now at almost 3, he's still not a great sleeper.
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