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@Pumpkin Pie: you sound just like me when my LO was that age. the drowsy but awake thing does not apply for the first three months or so. you do whatever it takes. I was so worried that my LO wasn't sleeping the needed amount per day (even started a thread about it) but I eventually realized that I shouldn't try to box him into what some books say he should be like.
For a two month old, I don't think you can have any "bad" associations or crutches. Sure, you can try to start a routine or good habits, but at the end of the day, you do what you have to. Now, if nothing's working, even the "bad" crutches, then you have other things to consider.
what book do you reference most? fwiw, I love Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth.

@Pumpkin Pie: yes, I'd tell your neighbor to jump off a cliff! Babies are SO different from each other. I would really try not to put too much weight into what other babies are doing. And yes, I'd embrace the crazies. What else can you do, really? It's a phase that hopefully your baby will come out of sooner than later. In the meantime, I would say educate yourself on different training methods/philosophies so that if/when the time to train comes, you know what you're comfortable with and go from there. And like @suzanne44 asked, do you have any help or family around?

@Suzanne44: haha thanks! i don't know much but it's all very fresh in my mind so i'm happy to help, or at least give my input?!

@Pumpkin Pie: have you read any books or blogs that are more gentle / attachment parenting focused? I believe Dr Sears has written quite a good book and the blog http://www.nurshable.com is a nice read if you want to read some alternative views on parenting!

I know it's hard but try to enjoy this time with your squishy wee newborn, they grow so fast and it goes so quick

@Suzanne44: sometimes you have to read a few differents sources and opinions / "experts" before you find a method or philosophy that clicks! I never thought I'd end up on the AP end of the parenting scale but here I am

@Pumpkin Pie: 2 month old sleep sucked for me too. She took 35 min naps until she was 5.5 months old. It was annoying, but it was easier to just accept that that's how long she was going to sleep than worrying about making it longer. And, like others said, you aren't spoiling her at this age. You are just surviving. Speaking of surviving - have you tried an excersice ball? My LO would pass out if we held her and bounced on one of those. 2 hr is a long time to try to get a baby to sleep - you must be at your wits end.

@Grace: the exercise ball is one of the only ways my LO will fall asleep!

Thanks for the support, and encouragement, everyone. As you can probably tell, I'm just at my wits end and feel like I have to DO something about it. But, I guess thats not always the best solution. I'm going to look at the resources you guys provided.

@Suzanne44: At 3 months, I still kept him up 1.5 hours between naps, whether it was a crappy nap or not. If he completely refused a nap which was not the last nap of the day, then I would try to put him down a little earlier than 1.5 hours. But that only happened maybe twice, and he was about 4 months by then. (At 3 mo, I was still holding him for all naps and getting good naps that way). 5 or 6 naps is a lot! Our max was 4, and I was going crazy with that! How long are the naps?

As for awake time before bedtime, I think I kept it similar to other awake times, so about 1.5 hours, 2 max. Once or twice he refused the last nap and was up for 4-5 hours...not good!
Nowadays, now that he naps much better and is 6 months, his awake time before going to bed can be 3-4.5 hours and for the most part seems to do fine with that long stretch at the end of the day.

I remember the early days all too well. I found this blog (this post in particular) http://www.troublesometots.com/baby-sleep-what-is-normal/, helpful for understanding sleep cycles at that age.

Things will change, and some days will be better than others, but you can do it! Good luck, mamas!

@Suzanne44: you could always try stretching out awake time by having a change in activity at around the 1.5 hour mark, sometimes babies are bored rather than ready to sleep! Some babies also get stuck in the undertired / overtired cycle, they only sleep 30-45 minutes so have a wee bit of sleep but it's not enough to really restore them so they then cant stay up as long so they need to be up a bit longer to get them really tired and sleep longer.

@Suzanne44: First of all, great job on getting her to fall asleep on her own! That in itself is a huge feat. But so sorry about the frustrating cat naps. They suck! I'm no expert but it sounds like your LO has trouble connecting her sleep cycles, which are about 30-45 minutes. I think my LO went through the same thing and I almost drove myself batsh*t crazy trying to figure it out. I never did. So are you keeping her up 1 hour only, or 1.5 hours? I think for 3 months, you can try 1.5 hours....
Even Dr. Weissbluth, whose book I reference often, says that while naps shorter than one hour are not restorative, some babies don't lengthen their naps till 4,5,6 months of age! That made me so mad because basically he was telling me that my kid's naps didn't really "count" and he wasn't getting good rest, but that there was really nothing I could do about it. Lol. Well, for my LO it was true. Once he hit about 4.5-5 months, he started napping longer. And I didn't do anything differently so I can't take credit for it.
So what I'm trying to say is that your LO may be like mine. And while it sucks big time and is not great for your mental health, you may have to just get through this phase and accept that she catnaps. It makes it hard bc you have an older child so I can see how you are so completely frustrated. *hugs*

@Suzanne44: hooray for the long nap! I had the opposite problem today...crappy naps! (just when i get comfortable, LO decides to screw with my mind.... Sigh... ). Question for you: when did you stop obsessing about your first LO's sleep? I ask because my obsession with my LO's sleep has scared me into being one and done! And for my LO now, I just can't wait until I can be more relaxed about things but I fear that won't be for several years!

@Suzanne44: she is 9 weeks and has sleep troubles. She will only take 30 min naps max. At night she has been going about 3 hours the past couple days so that's an improvement. I'm obsessing over how to get her to nap longer, and how to get her to fall asleep on her own.

@Suzanne44: ok, thanks! I do find myself slightly less obsessed as his sleep gets more regular, but it always gets me when something goes off, like if he has an off day with naps or can't fall asleep easily at night! I also think once we're at two naps, life will get even better! Haha.

Last night she woke up 2 hrs after put down, then 1 hr, then 3 hours.

I know. The sleep deprivation makes me totally insane. I mean INSANE. I hear that 9 weeks is still young, and they need help sleeping, and that my LO's habits are normal for her age, and then I read about those parents who sleep trained at like 6 weeks, and I go crazy that I can't train my baby. Sleep deprivation is ugly, I tell ya.

@Pumpkin Pie: I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. It probably doesn't help that people tell u it gets better. (it does,but there are setbacks too so it overall sucks still sometimes). If you feel that you're truly at the end of your rope, you might consider sleep training. I believe someone linked to Mrs. high heels' experience. She did it at 6 weeks. You ultimately have to do what's right for you, not what others tell you. The only thing I could say is when you decide on the training method, stick to it and be consistent.

Oh, I decided to try CIO again because I borrowef the mom on call book and it said to try it with babies older than 2 weeks.

@Suzanne44: I've bean doing it today for naps and plan to do it for bedtime. My baby cries hysterically. She cried for over an hour, and I'm scared of how long she'll cry tonight. How long did your LO end up crying?