There is one mom at my LO's daycare, she is really nice and her LO and my daughter are the best of friends. She usually brings average meals for her child (not too healthy, but not too bad) but the last couple of days she brough mcdonalds happy meal (nuggets & fries) which has to be reheated at lunch time. She said it herself that she knows its a really bad lunch so she felt embarrased bring it out of his lunch bag in front of other parents. He is a few months older than my LO so may 17 months now and its kinda sucky he has to have reheated mcdonalds meals for lunch. Would you judge?
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Don't be sorry; we ALL judge!
DH told me yesterday a parent brought in canned spaghetti-o's!! Really?
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Nope, I only care about what my LO is eating. It might bother me if my LO came home asking for fast food like her friend....
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I'd just be sad for the kid. Reheated McDonalds is gross
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I don't think I'd judge, I'd just be like @highwire and be sad for the kid because reheated fast food is gross.
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The thought of reheated McDonalds food for a 17 month old makes me sad =(
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I agree that we all judge other people (I'm totally 100% guilty of it!), but at the same time, you don't really know the circumstances (rushed morning/family problems or crisis/etc.) surrounding anyone's lunch decision...
And not gonna lie, as much as I'd loooove to be "that" mom (once baby is grown up to the point of needing lunches!) that packs perfectly nutritious lunches every day, I can guarantee there's gonna be "those days" (maybe more often than not...) that just aren't up to some people's standards!
Sidenote: I'm now craving me some Spaghetti-Os...
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I would probably judge because I've judged before. We were out at a fair and a mom next to us gave her 10-12 month old McDonald's chicken nuggets. I'm just thankful I know better. I will say though, I'm sure someday LO will get that "crap" food on a rare occasion, but as long as I can hold out I'm happy.
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@ms.janedoe: Me too! I like the Trader Joe's spaghetti Os!
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It would probably make me want to go get some of their good french fries.
If it was a common occurrence and she didn't seem embarrassed, I might wonder what was going on. But life happens and I think I would feel more sorry for her b/c she felt embarrassed by it.
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I think anyone who says they don't judge is lying, so I am okay with the fact that you judged.
Heck, you'd judge me if you saw what I sent to daycare for my son to eat, but you know what, it's okay, because I'd probably judge you for something else. It's all good mamas!
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@ms.janedoe: it's not that hard! We just pack her lunch the night before when we pack ours. It probably took that mom more time to go to Mickey D than it took me to pack LO's lunch last night.
But I'm totally that mom that is anal about what she eats.
I freely admit to judging, we all judge about something unless we're Mother Teresa!
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@looch: bahahahah. YES!!! Love it.
I judge other moms and I know they judge me for being so anal. It's all good. I really don't care bc I'm doing what *I* think is best for my child and they're doing the best they can as well.
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i would probably judge also, and then remind myself that her LO will probably own microsoft some day and it wouldn't have made a damn difference that he had mcdonald's for lunch.!
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@edelweiss: bahaha good point.
But then I'm trying to cultivate a future michelin star chef.
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@edelweiss: Haha. Good point!
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@looch: Good way of putting it. I need to remember that. So true.
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@regberadaisy: yeah i am also really picky about what my daughter eats, I think its important to set her in good eating habits now, otherwise I cant blame her later if she doesnt want to eat healthy
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I fed my LO mc donalds for the first time the other day. We drove 1 1/2 hours after DH came home from work to adopt a dog. It was kind of spontaneous, we hadn't figured out dinner, and by the time we had our pup it was on the later side of dinner time and by the time we were going to be back home it was going to be an hour past bed time. So we had to feed her, and the rescue was in the middle of nowhere, there was only mcdonalds. We got her a double apple slice order to make us feel better.
But my point, sometimes you just can't help it. You don't know her situation, what she's going through at home, she could just be too busy and/or tired to make something healthy.
I also have a friend who went through this kind of situation. She is a SAHM and is part of a mommy group that met up in the park for a picnic. She hadn't had time to go to the grocery store, she had no food, so she drove through mcdonalds for her two boys. She was embarrassed as every other mom had extremely healthy meals.... but what could she do. And other moms actually said things about it..... like "I hate when there are unhealthy things around my kid. then he doesn't want to eat what he has." This is why I never joined that mommy group.
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@artbee: Dont get me wrong I have gvien my daughter a taste of burger king & fuddrucers fries before when we were out, so I am not against fast food in general, but to bring it in to daycare as a packed lunch that needs to be reheated is a bit much for me...
Now that I think about it, it must be from the day before because mcdonalds doesnt serve nuggets first thing in the morning. the plot thickens...
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@Mrsbells: Yuck.
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@Mrsbells: that was my thought - you can't buy a happy meal in the AM! So it's not a no time in the morning kinda thing!
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@regberadaisy: Oh man, I could totally see myself feeding my kids spaghetti-os one day! I think McDonalds is much worse, but then I find chicken nuggets incredibly disgusting and would never buy them for my kid. I'd rather they have a hamburger or chicken sandwich.
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@Mrsbells: I think I would judge a little. But I also don't know what else is going on with that mom and her family. Is she dealing with something really stressful that left running through the mcdonalds drive thru as her only option this week? I feel bad that she commented about feeling embarassed. There might be something else going on there.
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We let our toddler have McD's for dinner the other night because we were running late after a swim at the pool. I totally had to confess to her daycare when she had three blow outs at school the next day.
We also let her have spaghetti-ohs but I don't think those are that bad. I'm a believer in moderation its ok, but a few days a week with nothing else is tough.
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@regberadaisy: @artbee: Hahaha...
I guess you guys are all right, there must be some other reason.. because she doesnt always do this. I really shouldnt judge but sometimes its hard not to -
@artbee: I agree with you. Sometimes you can't help it. I say that now when my LO is too young for a packed lunch, but I've had weeks/days when I've fed myself some pretty gross stuff because there wasn't any time for anything else. Life can get stressful sometimes and people have different priorities.
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Every one makes judgements, it's how we act on them (sideways eyes, condemnation, etc) that shows our true character. Everyone has their challenges and their battles and choices. The ones I make may not be the ones that others make. For example, my house tends to be a disaster. We are not extremely cleanly and my kid doesn't clean up after himself. We are okay with this when other people aren't.
I am usually a mostly paleo strict food maker (my kid had TRUE frosting for the first time at 2 years old for 4th of July and LOVED it). BUT last week I was trying to get him to school on time for breakfast and stopped to get some prescriptions. My 5 min trip turned into 30 minutes and he missed preschool breakfast. So I had to hit McDonalds (the only place I know that has breakfast food he can safely eat) and pick up a breakfast for him. Yes, I was that mom.
Maybe this week the mom is a single mom and this is all she can do to keep the world spinning right now. Maybe you could offer to bring in a second lunch tomorrow for her child instead of McDonalds so that she doesn't have to worry about it.
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I think the reason *I* would judge is because that's just not how I grew up. My mom worked 12 hour days 6 - 7 days a week and she found time to make me real meals. So no time is just not an excuse in my mind. My mom made time.
But my mom is pretty much super mom + super grandma so she's a hard act to follow.
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@regberadaisy: my husband and I had a conversation on this last night. We were talking about american obesity and I said, sometimes its just hard financially and time wise to do the right thing. I gave him a similar example (single mom working long hours). His argument was that you can, but you still choose not to.
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If it were an every day thing I'd judge, but a random occurrence? No, life happens.
I let my toddler eat whatever I eat though (if he asks for some) so I can't judge since I don't have a perfect diet.
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I would totally judge, even though I think it's acceptable once in a blue moon. Mostly it makes me think the family is having financial problems. When DD goes to her playgroup I pack a snack and lunch. It usually involves 3-4 different types of fruits & veggies, 2 types of grain, 1-2 types of protein. It is definitely more expensive than McDonald's.
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i would, but then I would remember that people are busy
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@T.H.O.U.: I agree with your husband. Growing up we were POOR and both parents worked virtually 7 days a week on 12 hour days just to make ends meet. But my mom still came home to cook for my brothers & I. It's all about choices.
People in this country give too many excuses for laziness. This is just a in general statement not referring to the mom that gave her LO a happy meal.
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I'd think the kid was a little young for that kind of food but I'm a ftm of a less than 1 y/o, what do I know.. Life happens. You can judge all you want but you have no idea what's going on in that home. The mom was embarrassed about it. Last thing she needs is to be labeled lazy/uncaring/lesser because of two days of McDonald's. if I knew she was embarrassed I'd say slmething along the lines of "wow you must have a lot on your plate right now" and offer to help a couple of days...
Eta please don't mind the typos/grammar.. Not going to fix it!
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We get happy meals all the time. A few times a month? I don't care. I loved them as a kid. The majority of his food is healthy. He doesn't even like french fries so I guess that works to our advantage!
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Oh, and I don't claim to be mother Theresa... But the mommy wars really bug me.
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@looch: Great point!
@regberadaisy: @Mrsbells: Maybe she buys happy meals in bulk, freezes them and brings them out for emergency lunches?
Before 18 months, i may judge here and there. After that, once in a while isn't a big deal.
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@googly-eyes: I feel the same way. Is McDonald's great? No. But it's none of my business. We don't know her life. I like your suggestion of offering her help. The idea of "everybody judges and its okay" is not my bag.
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I know that what some parents cook at home or put in lunches/bentos/whatever can be questionably nutritious too anyways, so whatever! Bottom line, the kid is being fed...
I don't see anything wrong with fast-food once in a while. For whatever reason, it's fine! Even if it's simply because she was tired.. or maybe she wanted to... whatever.... that's her family... her decision to make.
I also think there's judging, which is fine since we're all human and we all do it... but then there's the "I'm a better parent" attitude... that bugs.
We also let her have spaghetti-ohs but I don't think those are that bad. Subscribe to our newsletter
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