Hellobee Boards

Yeah, I think you'd really be shooting yourselves in the foot with absolutely no screentime if you're trying to work from home During the pandemic, we made our son a checklist of things he had to do before more screentime that he was learning to self-manage. There were things like read for 20 minutes (he was 7), play outside for 30 minutes, and do a Lego challenge. Depending on what they're into, you could also pick a few activities on the weekend, like an art activity or puzzle or Lego challenge, that you could make sure were available and set up for the weekdays.
For snacks, we haven't set up a system like this, but I've seen families have like 3-4 bins of things available with each bin being some category: fruit, veggie, carb, and sweet, and then kids know that they can take one snack from each bin over the course of the day.

I think just fruit and veggies for snacks are setting your kids up for failure, they need fat and protein as well to fill them up.

When we had the kids home and were trying to work we would make a snack bowl every day. It was a mix of things - some healthier like fruits, yogurt, cheese strings, and then some more treat-like things like chocolate granola bars - and we left it to them to manage how they ate it through the day with the caveat that that was what they got so when they invariably ate all the “good” stuff by 9:30am they’d be eating the cucumbers in the afternoon.

For screen time we have specific screen time times - some in the morning, some at lunch, and some before dinner.

I think a lot of it is going to depend on how independent your kids are, though.

@Corduroy: so I know I’m usually the odd one out in these scenarios, but I’m with your husband on this. But of course it depends on your personal home situation.

8 and 10 year olds actually *are* totally capable of having screen free weeks, and every 8 and 10 year old did that up until about the 80s, because television was only about 4 channels, it didn’t have kid shows except for certain set times like Saturday mornings, and parents just didn’t allow it. And obvi no internet.

I myself grew up in an extremely low TV household and my kids are being raised in a low (by todays standards) screen time house.

But my husband and I are both on board with that. So if you aren’t, then it’s worth sitting down together and discussing your POVs and pressure points sgreeing on with a plan together.

My kids aren’t perfect at all, and don’t get me wrong—it’s harder to parent with low screen time especially at first because kids that are already used to it will beg for it. But *if* you wanted no screen time, it would only take about 5-7 week days for them to understand your firm boundary about it and you’d probably be surprised at how well they can entertain themselves when they are given the opportunity to do that—and my kids will be exactly 8 and 10 this summer.

But if this is a situation where your husband is expecting you to magically make “no screens” happen by yourself, (I mean if this is a husband issue), then again I’d address it with him.

Firm boundaries are key. They really are. It’s okay for kids to be bored. You can set s boundary about them not interrupting your work and you can set a timer. I do that every night as it is. I literally set a timer and don’t let my kids interrupt my dinner-making time because I work all day, and I found that I was getting VERY frazzled with constant “look at me’s!” While trying to cook, go through school folders, pack lunches.

Now my kids can make a list of questions for me on paper and they can ask me when their timer is up and my tasks are done.

I have to remind myself that boredom is good for them. Having to wait sometimes is good for them. Learning not to interrupt my important tasks (outside of emergencies)are good for them. Not having a screen on constantly is good for their self regulation. Having nothing but toys and a bunch of books and the entire outdoors to turn to is good for them.

I’m also a middle school teacher and if you’ve ever stumbled in teacher quittock, you will see that American schools are experiencing a crisis of extreme behavior issues, even in the “best” students.

Serious issues with inattention. Serious impulse control issues. Serious lack of ability to wait, low social emotional levels.

I know everyone blamed the pandemic, but personally I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s actually in extreme increase in screen time during the pandemic that is causing this.

I can’t tell you how often I have 11 year olds who are exhausted and when I ask them why, it’s because they were up to 1am playing minecraft or fortnight or scrolling endlessly on their phones. It is an absolute epidemic and I work I. One of the “best” areas where we have almost no low income students. It’s not a parent income issue or a lack of parental education issue.

My rule for screens is that all obligations for the day (homework / shower / dinner) must be complete before screens can go on, plus it also has to be after 5pm.

My husband routinely sabotages my rule on weekends, plus in 5pm is a little too early because my son will choose tv over outdoor family time in the summer when it’s still light after dinner. Also, my kids wind up watching too much tv because we are not disciplined at starting bedtime early enough.

So, I don’t love my rules but they are partly a product of COVID and work burnout, and I do not have the energy to reverse them right now.

That being said, once screens are on for the day, it is very hard to turn them off permanently. So I stand behind the principle of a screen rule with a firm start time later in the day.

For snacks, our rule is one treat per child per day, and no earlier in the day than lunch. If they have a treat after lunch or during an afternoon snack, I remind them that’s it for the day and they cannot also have one after dinner. My kids over all have good health, thankfully, and are decent eaters overall. They tend to eat some fruits and vegetables each day and have a somewhat balanced diet. So I don’t mind if they add a few empty calories since it does not seem to be causing a bigger issue. One of my daughters LOVES sugary food though, and that is something we have to help her manage.

My kids also all LOVE sugarless gum. That sometimes gets me through arguments about treats.

Your husband is way off on the snacks. A snack ideally should have a protein, carb and healthy fat. They are going to be constantly hungry just eating fruits/vegs, not to mention not being fun! All the kids dieticians I follow say to not restrict sweets as it creates a dangerous mindset.