Our routine for 3 yo dd takes FOREVER. A solid 45 mins. I'm wanting to know when does that end?? When can we simply brush teeth, read a book or two, song a lullaby and be done???
Anyone go through long bedtime and come out the other side??
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Our routine for almost 5 year old has been the same for about 1.5 years now. Dinner at 6.30-7.00, then a short playtime while sister has a bath. Before 730 is toilet, brush teeth and hair, jump in a deep soak bath and have a play and wash for a while. Hop out, pj's on with a small play in her room, 8pm bedtime for both girls. I read big one 2 books in bed with lights off but lamps on, when they're done she gets a soft toy, lamp off (nightlight on) and I put on her musical projector which runs for 15 minutes. she usually dozes off in that time (singing lol) while I have a shower and hubby puts baby to sleep.
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My older one's bedtime got soooo long when she was 3 - I had a newborn and she took advantage of daddy to drag it out! It ended when I decided to drop her nap at 3.5 and I started doing it since he gets home later. I think being more tired from no nap helped and also I just won't let them push it. Bedtime is still way longer if he's home! maybe switch up the routine if you can somehow or start using a kitchen timer for parts of it? Like the faster you do everything else the more time we have to read or cuddle before timer goes off? Just an idea, it's hard!!
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We've had to update our bedtime routines a couple times to "big girl" routine to "big sister" routine when the crazy stalling habits got to be too much. Our current routine is:
Potty
Brush teeth
Pick a stuffed animal to sleep with
Climb up to bed
Diaper on for sleep
Read bible story
Read 1 regular book of her choice (usually library book that I have propped up on the dresser)
Say prayers
Choice of hugs /kisses (kissing hand, regular hugs and kisses or blowing and catching kisses)
Night light on
Sound machine on
Lamp offAll that takes roughly 15-20 min.
If she is not cooperative, we threaten to take away picking a lovey or losing her book, which keeps her from stalling too much.
Eta: I should've said that my DD is 3 and we've had basically the same routine since she was a baby, but just added on a bit. No nap days we start the routine at 715. Nap days at 815.
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DD is 3.5 and goes to bed around 7:30. At 7 (while I go up to put baby to bed) she cleans up her toys and puts her pjs and pull up on (downstairs in family room). Then she reads a few stories with DH (or if she's lucky watches 2 episodes of Octonauts). Then she brushes her teeth, goes potty and one of us takes her up to her room. Once there, she climbs into bed, we turn on sound machine, read the Going to Bed Book, say goodnight and that's it. We've always been quick with the bed routine. The part that takes place in her room is about one minute long. We used to read stories and do the bathroom stuff upstairs, but changed things around once the baby came.
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DS is 4 and it takes up to an hou to get him ready and into bed. DH is faster and more efficient when I'm not home.
Bedtime is 8 and it starts with bath/shower at 7. Then he has a small snack, milk, potty, teeth, story and cuddles. I don't know why it takes so long, it just does.
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LO is 3 and our bedtime routine is out of hand, too. I literally just said to our newborn tonight, "When you're 3, we're just going to tell you to go to bed and that's it!"
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@FannyMae: Tell me about this projector??
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B is 3 and his routine takes about half an hour, including bath. He gets into the bath shortly after his brother gets out, splashes around for a bit and gets his face washed and his teeth brushed. Once he gets out it's jammies, three stories, lamp off, nightlight and white noise on, and then we hold hands, have hugs, kisses, cuddles, and high fives (he gets to pick how many of each), and then we leave. Usually he then decides he has to go to the bathroom, so that adds a few minutes on.
@bhbee: Ours takes a lot longer when Daddy does it than when I do it too! I'm not sure why.
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We used to have a very long nighttime routine with LO1 that also involved us laying next to her until she slept, otherwise she would get out of her bed over and over and over. But eventually, we started the "making excuses" method that I read about somewhere...maybe here?
Basically, we would read her stories and kiss her goodnight and then say, "I have to go potty/eat dinner/clean up dinner/whatever", so you lay here and I'll come back when I'm done. And she would lay there, basically awake, waiting for us. And then we would check in and make another excuse and say, "Just close your eyes and rest while I go finish.....". And it actually worked. We had to do that for a couple of weeks and it was a long process, but now she goes to sleep without us and we don't have to make the excuses anymore.
I know it seems like it wouldn't work (we thought the same thing), but I've had a lot of friends use it with some success. So it's worth a shot. It only works with older kids who understand that mommy/daddy have to do something. Even these days, when LO1 will have a needy day or week and will start fighting bedtime, we'll just put her in bed and say we have to go ____________ and she doesn't have to sleep, but she has to rest her eyes and then we'll come back. And she falls asleep without us 90% of the time. The rest of the time, we just go back in and say "Keep resting. Now mommy needs to......."
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The components of the routine have always been the same, it begins with a bath (although now it's a shower), then into pajamas, have milk/snack while reading a book in the living room, brush teeth and then into bed for some cuddles and then lights out.
I recently noticed my son was taking forever to fall asleep, he's 6, and I realized that it was because I was lying there with him! He wanted to talk, have a story, etc etc. so I just had to remove myself and exit his room and it's been working so far.
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@Anagram: I like this! DH stays with DD1 (2) till she's asleep; we don't mind slow/gradual so we'll def be giving this a try!
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We've had the same basic routine forever but DD really drags it out now that she's older. She's 3.5 and our basic routine is (and has always been):
- Dinner
- Play/read books for a short while
- Bath
- Teeth
- PJs
- Read "2" books (in quotes b/c it can be like a million books)
- White noise, night lights, lights off, covers on and we leaveThis used to take about 20 min and now is more like 45-60 min. We used to be able to read her a quick board book and now she regularly chooses the longest books she can find, so story time alone takes like 10 min. Plus, these days I have to get DS into bed before her (he is 4 months so his bedtime is much earlier), but if he takes awhile to get to sleep, DH and DD will wait for me to come down before reading our "last 2 books" (they will literally read like 10 books waiting for me). So right now, we generally start the whole routine with both kids at 7 (starting with bringing DS up for his bath) and it ends with DD going to bed around 8 or 8:15.
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We used to have MAJOR bedtime issues. DD would drag it on and on...we finally realized that we think she needs some decompression time when going from downstairs to upstairs - ie transitioning to bedtime. Our new routine - which has been working well for about 2 mos is:
7pm: Downstairs picked up...we all head upstairs
DH lays out her jammies, she puts them on, brushes her teeth and sometimes goes potty (sometimes she doesnt need to go yet).
7-7:30pm: DD1 watches an episode of sofia or doc on her iPad (about 25 mins long) while I put DD2 to bed. Her lights are off (nightlight on) and sound machine is on. So its her sleeping environment.
7:30pm: Show is over, DD turns iPad off and gets me to tuck her in. I remind her to go potty if she didnt before hand. We sing our song, I tuck her in, and thats it.Most nights its no problem. Some nights - usually if she has had a rough night (ie getting in trouble) - she'll try to prolong it. I need water, I need this, I need that...blah blah. Those nights I have found that reminding her of our routine gets her back to her bed quick...
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That's basically my routine for my 5 year old and toddler. But I stay in the room with them after lights out, and snuggle up the baby. If we just had the big kid, I might not stay until she was all asleep, but honestly, I like the snuggling time. One of us is usually in there for 15-30 minutes, so the overall process still takes a while.
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Our bedtime routine is almost always 45 minutes to 1 hour. LO1 is 4.5, and he drags it out. We go up around 7:30/8:00 to start bath. Once both kiddos are out, it's floss, teeth brush, fluoride rinse, 2 books, and we lay with the older one for a bit. The longest part is just before bath. He takes forever to get his clothes off.
Our 1.5 year old has the same routine, and he's done within a half hour. It's glorious. We literally stand and sing to him with his head on our shoulder, put him in his crib and leave.
I also recommend a timer. When things are starting to get ridiculous, we break out our phones and tell Siri to set a timer for a minute. Clothes off in a minute! Teeth brushing has to be done by 2 minutes, etc.
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LO is almost 3.5 ... bedtime is about 30 minutes.
Jammies
Probiotic
Potty + tooth brushing
Storytime + singing (which lasts 10-15 minutes)Just like with our morning routine, I've found that having everything ready to go, and moving through quickly (not rushed through) makes everything smoother.
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Ours is nonsense and takes like an hour and I wouldn't even know where to begin to fix it. So I'm with ya. @Ajsmommy:
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We use a kitchen timer now because my son was DRAGGING his bath out forever. He wanted to sit on the potty for 10 minutes, then bathe for 30 minutes, then sit on the potty again for 10 minutes. And fighting about each transition. DH was handling it, but DS1's 730pm bedtime started becoming an 815-830pm bedtime once books were done.
So now we set a 2 minute timer for pre-bath potty and then move to tub. Then 2 minute warning when bath is over. Then 2 minutes on post-bath potty. Books don't usually take longer than 15-20 minutes max so we haven't busted out the timer there yet, but once books are done we basically just sing a few songs, do prayers, tuck in, and leave. Bath to bedtime takes 45 minutes on average.
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I'm so glad I'm not alone with this!
When dh does bedtime its much faster. I'm a push over and let her get away with more shenanigans. However I still feel like bedtime even when succinct is too long. But I don't feel like cutting anything out.
We do :
Brush teeth 2-5 mins
Potty 2-3 mins
Into room pick books 1-3 mins
Read books 5-15 mins
Sing 2-5 mins
Then the procrastination begins... Some nights she wants me to lay with her. I'll set my time for 2 mins and lay thereThat right there is basically 40 mins!! I don't see how to cut it... #doomedforlongbedtimesforever
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@wrkbrk: Big E uses this one - https://www.mrtoys.com.au/starlight-dreamshow-yellow-468.html?gclid=CP3ajeSXtNMCFVgjvQodJdgOzg
It was originally Little E's projector but it is kind of loud for a baby so the big one stole it. Originally she had a Fisher Price nightlight with zoo animals, and it had three different music settings which were really relaxing, she LOVED that one.
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@FannyMae: Ah love it! DS has the twilight turtle. Same concept I guess!
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DS is 3.5. We head upstairs at 7. He gets into his pjs, read some books, brush teeth, use the bathroom, and then hop into bed. Then We'll do our routine of goodnights, prayers, and songs. Recently, he's been into watching old videos of himself on my phone, so he gets to pick one or two. Im usually out of there by 7:30.
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We read two books downstairs, then she goes up with dad. Potty, teeth, Jammies, into bed. He sings two songs with the lights out.
It takes probably thirty minutes.
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